Thursday, April 19, 2007
when you say noth at allthe huge enormous pressure is now starting to get to me.
i finally get the importance of time management, no more slacking, no more pigging out. (-crosses fingers)
it's quite hard to score when you've got to spend so much time on netball.
it's like almost sucking the life out of me.
im home late cos of netball.
many a times the thought of quitting will pass through my mind.
quitting = more time to study, more time to catch up on work, no need to mug for tests last minute, no need to do homework jst the day before, more benefits for my A-levels.
butttttttttt, that thought will somehow disappear each time i see my netties.
yes, certainly, when you join a team game there are different reasons for each person to stay in the team & give your all. my main motivation is my team, & of cos my coaches. ive never felt like i belonged til i came into this jj team. sometimes i hope that netball is over, but other times i enjoy myself laughing in the team. it's such an irony.
there are so many times when i jst feel like throwing everyth to the wind & jst give up, quit school, go do someth else, someth more pleasurable. sometimes i feel tired of the enormousity of the pressure on me. it sucks when you've been doing good in your j1 life, teachers expect the same from you in j2. it sucks when your brother studied mere months before his A's & clinched a BBC, & you're smarter than him. your parents expect AAAA.
sometimes i feel so alone, i wished i could curl up & jst close out the world, since they choose for me to be alone. but things always get better, at that precise moment, taadaaaaaaaa, help arrived in the form of a boyfriend (: (yay !)
throw me a lifeline
9:54 PM
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