Sunday, July 31, 2005

recently i've been
hopelessly reaching <

I AGREE WITH MINDY NG.
ARES IS RETARDED.

so many songs are still connecting like since two days ago? its amazing why my brother's not pissed at its slowness. freakishly slow.

SO RIGHT, IF YOU WENT TO GAELAN GU'S BLOG, I AM INNOCENT.
I DIDNT SAY WHAT HE SAID I SAY.
I WAS BEING SARCASTIC AND I ONLY SAID 4/10 WORDS.
and it was meant to be sarcastic )):
gaylan's fattsies will be slapped by me at least a hundred NEW times.

so slow so slow so slow. maybe i'll just ask the-person-who-wet-me to send me the songs?


gaelan gu's an asshole )): he puts words into my mouth and now he's trying to convince me to be in love with zhengliang. GAYLAN GU'S AND ASSHOLE, I DONT CARE. asshole asshole. wait thats an insult to assholes ayye, so well, he's gaylan gu, and gaylan gu is the lousiest creep on this planet. bugger shit. and now he's saying i get pissed easily. im not even pissed, he's stupid lahh. he'll fail if he takes a psychological exam.




i bathed oscar today, so im getting a flower balloon, AND NOT IN MY DREAMS PLEASE. i dont wna dream of you, heh =\\.








TOMORROW ((:

throw me a lifeline
8:46 PM

___________________________



Saturday, July 30, 2005

why are we hiding away <

I WANT A FLOWER BALLOON.
I WANT A FLOWER BALLOON.
I WANT A FLOWER BALLOON.
I WANT A FLOWER BALLOON.
I WANT A FLOWER BALLOON.
I WANT A FLOWER BALLOON.
I WANT A FLOWER BALLOON.

someone get one for me PLEASE? ((:

and ive got an electronic toothbrush.





i think my posts are getting lame.






I DO MISS SOMEONE ((:

throw me a lifeline
11:19 PM

___________________________



Friday, July 29, 2005

a click it in time <

mistakes, forgivable? unforgivable?

i miss my lock. stupid nigel. stupid stupid nigel.
its not fat lahh, yours is super ugly, still have the price tag on.
ugly lock, mine's pretty alryyt, and it AINT fat i tell you.

im getting tired of studying )):

prelims are in one month and a few days time, then after that, its down to acs(i) with my darling and mrs birdie. hah, we're trying to see who hoho loves more, rara or yunyun. def rara ! yunyun sounds to girllyy. MRS BIRDIE GIRLY? my gosh.



this post is going nowhere.






I MISS SOMEONE ((:

throw me a lifeline
11:33 PM

___________________________



Wednesday, July 27, 2005

you told me that you loved me first
then throw your heart into reverse <

my life summed up in eight letters
S-T-U-D-Y-I-N-G.

it's quite fun actually.


through what happened between us, i've learnt something. i've seen the bad faces of everybody, and to be serious, i really really dont like it. i hate it in fact. after seeing it, i mean its like, i never expected her to be that way, and i never expected someone else to be this way. i mean, its so fake. and i cant believe im writing this out. but honestly, when i get moodswingy, its cos im pissed and cheesed off. right, i better shut up. but... )): gosh, i suddenly really dont like our group.

and im here to tell gaylan, i dont have to act cute, cos im alr cute.


so joe tried to help me in phy, i mean its HIS prelim pprs, he should know the ans, but he doesnt. weird =\\ joe, get ready to treat me, cos whatever u say will never happen ((:













THIS IS SO FAKE.
THANK YOU WORLD

throw me a lifeline
9:42 PM

___________________________



Sunday, July 24, 2005

karo: YOUR FACE IS AN INNOCENT FACE? MY GOSH, IF IT IS, I'LL BE MISS UNIVERSE LAHH.
aiyun: then you are ms universe... =)

aiyun just said im miss universe, what a nice girl, but she still doesnt have an innocent face, YOU HEAR ME.

throw me a lifeline
8:12 PM

___________________________

maybe i should start over my life.

and i thot i was the only one with problems, how naive.
i've learnt to appreciate life now, i guess im new.
theres one challenge i really wna overcome now.

easy or hard, its all up to ME.

and ive got this pretty watch now ((:

throw me a lifeline
12:37 PM

___________________________



Saturday, July 23, 2005

i see this is all my fault.
and i think this is what i caused.
this weird churning sensation when i found out about it.
and i still thought we could be.

RIGHT.

throw me a lifeline
2:58 PM

___________________________



Tuesday, July 19, 2005

the getaway ; hillary duff

here i am again
talking to myself
sitting at a red light
both hands on the wheel
how am i supposed to feel
so much running through my mind
first you wanna be free
now you say you need me
giving mixed signals and signs
it's so hard to let you in
thinking you might slam the brakes again

push the pedal down
heading out of town
gotta make a getaway
the traffic in my brain's
driving me insane
this is more than i can take
you tell me that you love me first
then throw your heart into reverse
i gotta get away

i can't keep coming back to you
every time you're in the mood
to whisper something sweet in my ear
it's so hard to move on
cause every time i think you're gone
you show up in my rearview mirror

is this just a detour
cause i gotta be sure
that you really mean what you say
it's so hard to let you in
thinking you might slam the brakes again

push the pedal down
heading out of town
gotta make a getaway
the traffic in my brain's
driving me insane
this is more than i can take
you tell me that you love me first
then throw your heart into reverse
i gotta get away

to a place where i can be redefined
where you're out of sight
and you're out of mind
but the truth is i can't even say goodbye

here i am again
talking to myself
sitting at a red light
both hands on the wheel
how am i supposed to feel
so much running through my mind

push the pedal down
heading out of town
gotta make a getaway
the traffic in my brain's
driving me insane
this is more than i can take
you tell me that you love me first
then throw your heart into reverse
i gotta get away

my favourite song ((:

throw me a lifeline
6:20 PM

___________________________



Monday, July 18, 2005

> SUNDAY BEST AND BROKEN GLASS says:
IT WOULD BE NICE IF THE WORLD WAS KAROLYN




vanessa loh ya shi, admitted this ((:

throw me a lifeline
10:44 PM

___________________________

that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
karolyn!!!!!
that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
haha.
that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
i know you like daniel seow
that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
hahhaa. i was kidding
that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
its actually jeremy kiew. hahaha
that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
hahahaaa
that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
fineee
that sweet talk, we never fail to remind each other. says:
i love you!

terrence > my fellow cookie monster craze, said those to me ((:

throw me a lifeline
9:47 PM

___________________________



Sunday, July 17, 2005

j0ë says:
yeah i carry karo around and play with her Gstring
j0ë says:
now karo's my fav wife


JOE NAMED HIS GUITAR AFTER ME. ((:

throw me a lifeline
9:55 PM

___________________________



Wednesday, July 13, 2005

i try to make a sound but no one hears me <

so how sure are you that everythings fine?
walking around with a smile is just on the surface.
deep down? who will know until your mouth opens?

cry and cry and cry.
unexpressable pain, ripping your heart out.
tears form as your heart gets shredded to pieces.

yes, i guess you are right, but maybe thats not i want to hear.
and how can i make the decision, i need someone else.
you pick, you choose.
i would rather know now, then later.

this will be my last post, hopefully, until quite a long time, when the tears stop forming, and i pack up and move away from this house of pain.













the end ; for now.

throw me a lifeline
9:48 PM

___________________________



Tuesday, July 12, 2005

it's a dam cold night
trying to figure out this life <

EMATH TEST IS COMPLETELY SCREWED UP.




AT TIMES LIKE THIS, I REALLY WISH I STILL HAVE YOUU.













youre everything i hoped for and more ;

throw me a lifeline
10:02 PM

___________________________



Sunday, July 10, 2005

okay, so im FINALLY done with my skin. spent 15 minutes trying to do my tagboard, i gave up, SO NOW, IM USING HALOSCAN.

SO AT THE END OF EVERY POST, you see this "throw me a lifeline" thingy, so click on it, yes and tag me.

so technically, I STILL HAVE A TAGBOARD.


right, and im screwed, like there's emath test tmr, and i havent studied for it, except doing the qns tian asked me just now. so right. was doing physics then this skin the whole day. and watching xi yuan lu. and eating. so right. dad brought home heng hwa noodles, I ONLY ATE ONE BOWL ((: yes, i usually eat two lahh. right.







im looking forward to tmr ;

throw me a lifeline
9:27 PM

___________________________

FORGET ABOUT THE REASONS WHY YOU CANT IN LIFE <

so i did finish physics homework and my notes for chapter 16 for the class, and i watched xi yuan lu as well. its great improvement for a sunday for me ((:


anyhows, im writing this post cos i just read my darling's blog, so darling, this post is for you >

hell, i know what it feels lahh. i know how you just gta be strong on the outside, but you just wna break down and cry on the inside. you'll feel there's no one who goes through what youre going through and no one will EVER understand what youre going through. so what's the point in telling anyone? but sometimes, you dont tell people to let others understand. you tell people cos it'll be like a burden shared, lighten by half. and the next time you feel weak inside, you can turn to that person you told for that much needed comfort. thats what gracia and silas are your bestest friends for. they'll be there even though they DONT understand what's it youre going through. they're there for you cos youre their friend, and NO ONE will want to see their friend break down and dont know why. cos if they know, at least they'll know how to comfort you, hug you, be there for you. so you see darling, tell someone, even if you think it wont work, tell someone and they can be there for you, tell someone and your burden will be lighter. it doesnt have to be gracia of silas, it can be ME. cos im ALWAYS here for you, yes? keep that in mind, when youre all lost and you think theres no one to turn to, theres ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ME. 86400 seconds, 1440 minutes, 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months a year. i'll be there for you.
so dont hesistate to tell any of your friends, cos we all love you, and we all dont want you keep that super heavy burden all to yourself okay darling?

p.s. my counting might be a bit wrong =DD, so forgive me, but i think you know what i mean yes?

FORGET ABOUT THE REASONS WHY YOU CANT IN LIFE. ((:



there can NEVER be a rainbow without any rain.
hold on darling, your rainbow will def come.

so i love you ((:













isnt anyone trying to find me ;

throw me a lifeline
4:52 PM

___________________________



Saturday, July 09, 2005

brighter than sunshine <



[1] what's your name?
karolynn
[2] h0w 0ld are you?
16
[3] which sk00l are you fr0m?
fairfield
[4] when is your birthday?
2306, now you owe me present.
[5] status?
single.

D0 Y0U??

[6] sm0ke?
nope.
[7] drink?
water.
[8] cry when y0u are jeal0us?
maybe.
[9] hurt urself when u are hurt by ur l0ved 0ne?
maybe.
[10] hate y0urself?
guess so.

FAVOURITE??

[11] type of stead?
taller than me, beautiful eyes, can cook, plays a musical instrument, is a Christian, is a sporty kinda guy, maybe cute enough in my eyes.
[12] f00d?
chocolate, icecream.
[13] place?
heaven.
[14] tv sh0w?
the apprentice, friends.
[15] s0ng?
untitled ; simple plan
[16] m0vie?
parents trap.
[17] seas0n?
winter.
[18] ice cream flav0ur?
sticky chewy chocolate, anything chocolate.

PREFER??

[19] sylvester 0r taufik?
sly.
[20] c0ffee 0r tea?
iced lemon tea.
[21] pink 0r blue?
purple.
[22] single or attached?
being single means ure free, but being attached means ure loved. so attached.
[23] best fren or stead?
ur stead will be ur best friend.

HAVE YOU EVER??

[24] hug?
yea.
[25] how many diff ppl have you kissed?
hmmm, my mom, my dog. someone.
[26] l0ve s0me0ne till y0u d0n't mind dying f0r
yupp.
[27] showed attitude to your stead?
no stead = no showing attitude ((: ex-es, yea.
[28] run away fr0m h0me?
tried, i packed my bags alr.

*WH0 IS??

[29] the last person you called?
sherri.
[30] the last person who called u?
joce.
[31] who are e pple who can always cheer u up?
bester, charmaine, cheryl, christina, joy, mesy, jiayee, olivia, mindy, ness, youu.

ASK Y0URSELF??

[32] how's ur life nowadays?
down.
[33] what's in ur mind right now?
i dont know, ask it.
[35] wh0 d0 y0u want t0 be?
a teacher, a counseller maybe.
[35] what do u think about ur love life right now?
what love life?
[36] wh0's ur fav0urite pers0n t0 crap with?
my girls.
[37] will u survive with0ut l0ve?
no way.
[38] what makes u happy?
happy people.
[39] will it be a pr0blem t0 u f0r having a very big crush 0n s0me0ne?
dont know.
[40] do u really really love someone now?
secret.





A age :---> 16.
B band listening to right now :--> not listening to songs.
C career :---> student, a teacher to be.
D drink or smoke :--> drink water.
E easiest friend/s to talk to : ---> -points up, look at the people who make me happy.
F favorite song/s at d moment : ---> untitled ; simple plan.
G gummy bears or gummy worms : ---> bears. worms are wiggly.
H Have you ever had a boy/girl friend : --> yupp.
J junk food you like :--> lays, cheddar cheese and sourcream.
K kids : --> i want 2
L longest ride ever : ---> in where?
M my favorite sports : ---> netball, swimming, badminton.
N names of your [future] children : --> faith and chat.
O one wish u have now : ---> secret.
P phobias : snails.
Q favorite quote : there cant be any rainbow without any rain.
R reason to smile : the darlings that are there for me.
S sleeping hours : i dont have a fixed one.
T time you woke up : today? 8
U unknown fact about u : im a girl. ((:
V vegetable/fruit you hate : durian.
W worst habit : laziness i guess.
X x-rays you've had : nah.
Y yummy food/s : chocolate, icecreams, chips, yummiliciously yummy.
Z zodiac sign : cancer.











had this catch up session with sherri today when we went home together. ((: she's the first to know my secret. hahas, we caught alot up. played captain's ball. i mean my hands are more used to writing now, then holding a ball. sherri cracked up when i made that statement. hah. i love that darling, and i'll say it only once ((: we watched someone walk arnd, and i had a great view and a nice chat.

throw me a lifeline
8:55 PM

___________________________



Friday, July 08, 2005

everyone's changing <

why do people change?

throw me a lifeline
10:50 PM

___________________________



Thursday, July 07, 2005

wake up call <

okay, so now i dont feel like blogging anymore, so why am i writing this?
i dont like my skin no more, im too lazy to edit one to my liking.
SHEESH.

you know sometimes i blog cos its faster than writing in my diary, but then all sorts of people can read my feelings and everything. i feel like putting a password, then it would be very hard lahh. maybe a secret blog. but then anyone can find it lahh. dang, i feel weird weird weird. i take 10 minutes to blog smth down, but i take half an hour to write it in my diary. i guess its cos i write my whole day's work down, everything that's interesting or caught my attention. hahas, i think i write about everything. after all, its my diary. but im scared that when time passes, i would forget who the people i write about are. i dont know lehh. like all the guys that ive written about in the diary that catches my eye, all the people i dislike and the one i hate like hell. okay so im weird, i feel weird. damn. such a stupid post, why am i posting it?

i feel like passwording this blog now. maybe i shouldnt up date that often, i mean like prelims are soon, o's are coming after prelims and i havent started totally on anything yet. i mean like on the bus home he flipped to a light qns, i was totally blur about it. and what im aiming for top in level for physics, RIGHT. gosh. im so gna screw my life up if i dont start revising or studying or whatever.

i really wna password this blog, so like in school i can be happy altho im really truly sad. i dont want anyone to worry for me, i hate people worrying for me. its just a waste of your emotions only, i aint no big deal. i mean maybe 10 years down the road we would walk past each other and not know we were good friends once. or even lovers. whats the use lahh? i keep fretting that me and bester wont know each other in 10 years. im weird, really. maybe im getting stupid or smth. maybe. i just really want a break from this life. i want a new one, i would love to try a new one.

my dreamland gives me assurance, but when i wake up, its gone. why cant we sleep like 90% of our time? i wna be a koala bear they sleep all the time, and they're adorable. unlike me.

so like anyone's gna read that crap. i'll just blog to blog to ease my feelings, and this way i wont cut myself, or damage my eardrums.

my gosh, i wanted to type 2 sentences, i ended up with this. its crap, pure crap. gosh, now i feel like crying.

I REALLY WNA PASSWORD MY BLOG. but i dont think i should. maybe i should just stop blogging. EUGH, WHATS THE POINT.

i need a new life, i need a life buoy, i used to have one.
why's everything gone now? the time when i needed one so much.

maybe i should just go get a penknife...













your hands in mine, a vision of the past ;

throw me a lifeline
10:11 PM

___________________________

he wasnt what i wanted
what i thought no
he wouldnt even open up the door <

mesy just called me. we had this talk about the secret i told her.
< she rocks ((:

ah so, i talked to leonard and tried to bribe him to change his nickname cos we have the same, right. i FAILED. hahas.

ride home was surprisingly pleasant ((: i thot it would be like so much worse, it was good in fact. went home a happy girl lahh. right, so thank youu ! ((:

nathan ong, i love his muscles, he carried my stuffs when my stomach ached. thanks so much ahgong.

yahh, and shis talking to me now.

this day is full of surprises, wonderful ones ((:

christina darling, dont waste water over lousy juniors.













smile a smile of love ;

throw me a lifeline
9:02 PM

___________________________



Wednesday, July 06, 2005

i couldnt see that it was right there
but now i know what i didnt know <

oral was a screwed up thing. it was FREAKING easy, right i cant believe i stumbled on all the words. they were all coming out wrong. but mr lum was super super funneh. he was like some retarded shit lahh, worse than zhengliang or gaelan. he played hei bai pei with himself like a retard and he kept walking and walking. i was freaking cold and he asked gaelan to hug me. RIGHT. but he's really funneh lahh. and retarded too.

so im still addicted ;
to this word > retarded.

so everyone in my house is in a cutting hair frenzy lahh.
my mom just cut her LONG hair short.
my younger brother just cut his JUST JUST. he just reached home.
my older brother has to cut his, he's in ns.
my father has no hair to cut.
THAT LEAVES ME.right, i like my hair, no way am i giving it up. i like my hairstyle FOR NOW.

i really like the cross or leave blank quizzes. they're so so fun and easier to do.

my mom wanted music, so i turned some on for her, then she went to watch tv, RIGHT.

i just saved all the 4c pictures taken ((:
here goes :






















all smiles, youre lovely ((:

throw me a lifeline
9:38 PM

___________________________



Tuesday, July 05, 2005

wouldnt it be nice <

ah so, right. gaelan dedicated his last post to me ((:
click here.
about forgiveness and everything. whee.

go heres to gaelan.

forgiveness isnt everything you know. i may forgive someone for whatever bad things he has done, but that doesnt mean its over. cos although youve forgiven me, it doesnt mean i'll change. so right, i'd rather u dont forgive me. so i can just go ahead disturbing ur silly name and silly you. yupp =DD













maybe you'd rather not ;

throw me a lifeline
10:01 PM

___________________________

so close i believe <

ah, so right. today was kinda nice ((:
right, i love my girlies ((:

so today we came up with something ((:
went lunching with zhengliang ((: danielng kelly jiayi melly gene. hah.
we talked alot, and smth happened happened happened !

ah so, i dont feel like saying much today. the scar on my face is bloodeh obvious.













unknowingly ;

throw me a lifeline
8:28 PM

___________________________



Monday, July 04, 2005

as long as you love me <

right so, my brother brought home this adorable cute little kitten, we named it tyco, another word for luckee?
so i msged lover asking her if cats pee.
right, i guess thats a stupid qns.
then i asked her if cats shit.
hah, i think im quite dumb.
right, its really cute, but then, i kinda dislike it. i shared my bed with that kitten today, we slept, then it peed on my bed, it scratched my face and it bit me.
thank you alot miss tyco.
returning the cat to its wilderness tmr with my bro. ((: i hope it gets a good sleep tonight under the stairs in a box. i kinda pity it now. i dont wna let it go ! )):

took a million pictures of tyco and jason's trophy on my phone.
im gna say bye to that trophy and tyco tmr.
not fair ))):





right, buzz off. you make me wna scream, roll my eyes like nonstop.



GAELAN IS A GAY TART LIVING IN GAYLAND WITH ALL THE OTHER GAYTARDED FREAKS, SHOU YING-ING THE WHOLE DAY. gaelan is a chicken shit, chicken neh neh, CHICKEN. freak it. right, this feels better cursing gaelan.



EVERYONE CLICK HERE. AND SEND YOUR REGARDS TO GAELAN GU JIA HAO ((: please send SNIDE REMARKS TOO.













someday, that day may never come ;

throw me a lifeline
9:52 PM

___________________________



Saturday, July 02, 2005

magnificent, eternally, wonderful, glorious, Jesus <

right.
jane and john smith are out.
so jane and john. ((:
in their place is the ever so famous
karolyn and manuela smith !
-thunderous applause heard.

went to visit my grandma and greatgrandma, namely popo and taipo.
im really glad they're still alive and well. i mean after hearing about zhengliang's popo, i was just really thankful mine are still perfectly fine. i seriously love them. taipo was like urging popo to hand me my angbaos for my birthday. then soon after my popo came looking everywhere for me, she handed me ten dollars, and said "for roast duck. i forgot" sweet RIGHT ((:

i really love that gold trophy, i'll try to beg jason to give it to me, but i highly doubt he'll let me keep it )): it made my day lahh !

GAELAN GU JIA HAO is a gay tart living in gay land with all the other gaytarded freaks. i think it's only him, no one's that jia lat. uh huh.

right, im off to write a thankyou testimonial to nathan ((: that guy's so sweet and i just realised it. that auntie-killer. my mom's not an auntie cos she doesnt really fancy him. AND SHE LOOKS SUPER WEIRD WITH HER HAIR CUT.













wouldnt it be nice if the world was just you ;

throw me a lifeline
10:19 PM

___________________________

we were meant to live for so much more <

the gold trophy on my table reflects the sunlight into my eyes. ((: running 200m wasnt hard, it was getting that trophy from the winner that was hard. yes, i won first in the 200metres bdivision boys ((: okay fine, jason won it, i just took it home for him. he has three trophys, its not fair. so i just took the gold one and left him with his silver trophy and bronze medal. i have a few days of happiness, seeing that gold trophy on my table when i study.

turns out we qualified for 4x100, i cried for nothing, dumbness. right, so i sucked. i caused the class to lose, what can you expect from a musclecramp girl? i was so apologetic, i just dashed out all of our hopes.i dont think i can sprint anytime soon. so this will be my last sprint in alot of days. luckily nicholas tang came up to me after my sprint, otherwise turning to red cross was totally out of the question to me. leonard was so nice, nothing like nick.

yah so, i lost my voice. mom made me drink this yucksy drink.
right, talking about my mom, she's gna cut her hair short. why? cos she wanted to bathe, then she realise that its hard to handle long hair. errrm, she has long hair since i dont know when lahh. super super long alr, then she complains now, she's funnyyy.

after sports day, took class pictures. we made up this 4c shape which took like hell long?
i love our limegreen class teeshirt. ((((:

and yes, chat and sam wrote to me, thats definitely great. definitely definitely ((: scorpion, who went to khaodee for a month, returned with the letters.

i somehow feel so numb, like theres totally no emotion running through me at all, there's no need for feeling anything.
no need for happiness, no need for tears, no need for love. i just feel weird.

happy birthday lover.

nathan, thanks really alot. (((: for ytd and last night and today.













i hope you loved my smile ;

throw me a lifeline
4:06 PM

___________________________