Tuesday, April 03, 2007

it lasted forever but ended so soon
in places no one will find all your feelings so deep inside


when you feel sad, what do you do ?

i wanted to eat hello panda. but i realised, eating hello panda = waste money + more fats = even more sad. so i opted to walk home today. walked a lil bit wiv adrian (durian) lam. & im even planning to walk TO school EVERYDAY. that means 5.30am wake up alarms.


sadness, how do you define sadness ?
is crying part of sadness ?
is a frown part of sadness ?
is opting to be alone part of sadness ?
is choosing to walk away part of sadness ?
is keeping quiet part of sadness ?

i think not. in front of others, when my mind's busy entertaining them, sure smiles & laughter & witty comebacks fill my thoughts. but when it all ends, when it's quiet, when you're left alone wiv thoughts, that's when i feel i'll get engulfed by it all. stand strong, be strong, feel strong. mentally strong, physically strong, spiritually strong, emotionally strong. if you could choose to only be strong in one aspect, which would it be ?

i jst wish today would end faster. im geared up wiv negative thoughts in my head. i don't know what the outcome will be. & i really really fear for the worse. i know even though i've cried thinking that would be the outcome. in the end, i'll cry once more.

got a big talk by yiyan & siokhui. i like it when people can sense when you're down, even though you're smiling. but the best is those who can sense when you're down through a couple of msges, even though youre saying hahas. so far, i only know 2 people who ever sensed that, & it's not siok or yiyan luhh.




sometimes, i wish my life didn't have some days. jst minus off those days then i'd be a happy girl. perhaps jst minus off the day when my mother & my father made me, then perhaps you would be a happy person (: or perhaps... hahas, stupid thoughts. everyth happens for a reason.

to make me strongerrrr ? to get me more preparedddd ?


): i dont want.
all i want is you.




sometimes, i pray & pray. noth happens. God, are You there ? God, help me. ):
i once heard that God answers in 3 different answers.
yes
no
or, wait.
God's always there (:



shy, still do. now & tmr & the day after tmr & the week after tmr.
forever ? maybe not. but in the near future, definitely.
hold on ? i don't know.
thousand jumbled up thoughts. now's the time when i wish i would get a phone call or a msg.
thinking too much ain't good.

i should study. (:

throw me a lifeline
3:13 PM

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