Monday, April 30, 2007
it's quite unexpected, how this kinda things happen. one second you're smiling happily & everyth's fine wiv jst a lil hint of danger. then the next second, your world collapsed. it makes everyth so unstable, so untrustable, it's like there's no constant in the equation linking one to another.
i truly am thinking too much. but my tutor once said that it's people like me, who end up having connected brain linkages or someth like that. we link one thing to another to another to another. that's how we get heavy brains, when we think alot. not that it's healthy if we think negative thoughts though, quite contradicting aren't we.
hello buddies, i'm here for you girls & guys.
to abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz, loads of hugs, i'll keep ya'll in my prayers.
everyth happens for a reason, we might not know it now, but one day we will. that one day might come in an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, ten years, or the second before we die, but everyth happens for a reason, never doubt that there's someth better planned for us after everyth bad that we've gone through.karo feels (-fills in the blanksssssssssssss)
you're not the only one girl.
rendered speechless for once in my life, i didn't know what to do, what to say.
through small talk bonds are made. i call him my good friend even though we only say 1 or 2 similar sentences to each other, we don't even really talk about our troubles to each other, but when i was sad, he had my back. wasn't too good wiv words, but the effort he put in, not to ask what happened, but to make sure i was fine proved the phrase more than words. & everytime he starts a scary msg, i get so freaked out that i msg him once every half an hour to make sure he's fine. a good friend ? a slap on the back, a shared ipod, a leaf each time, criticising each other's taste, talking about totally random things.
friendship is made so easily (:
there are jst those individuals who you can jst be there for & now they've got your back as well, especially in the opposite sex, but yet, he isn't your boyfriend & he'll never be your boyfriend, jst a hao peng you.
& love is the strongest prove of an everlasting friendship & a lil more, :D it took way more than courage for us to end up this way love ! :D
bi peng you geng hao de peng you & yet we're more than that, so much more ! :D
it's time for bed, i've got a hot date tmr ! -sizzles ! :DDDD
p/s don't bother guessing who i'm talking about, you'll never get it.
throw me a lifeline
10:54 PM
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Sunday, April 29, 2007
wahahas, i was thinking of someth to blog & the scene of that umpire dropping his whistle was totally ROFL.
so yepp, the umpire dropped his whistle.
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahs.
okay, i think i should jst be destroyed for being this mean, but it's really fricking funny.
okay, i hope & pray & wish it doesn't rain tmr, or at least, rains in the morning. :D (then it won't rain in the afternoon & school starts at EIGHT ! :D)
oh & i tripped the RJ super tall GS too :// wahahas, if only pointy tripped that would be goooooooood. im evil but who cares, we all condemned pointy for life, wahahas. gawwwd, i hope i dont meet her in uni or wherever, :/// wahahas
okay, i dont know why i'm here. hehs.
but ulcers suckkkkk.
they really suckkkkkk.
i hate ulcers
i hate ulcers
i hate ulcers
i'll eat wiv bigger bites next time, then my mouth will be so full that there's no space to bite my gum/tongue anymore ! woohoos.
okay, im kidding, but i REALLY HATE ULCERS.
wham smack bang.
it takes foreverrrrr to heal. & i rinse my mouth like a gazillion times a day alr >.<
i die die also wont put salt, unless it's still here after 10 days ? hehs.
aiya, byebye
throw me a lifeline
9:51 PM
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Saturday, April 28, 2007
| Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is |
After dinner at your favorite restaurant, at the spot where you first kissed. |
doodledums ! :D
i slept from 1plus til 5plus (?) & shit, i'm tired now. wahahas. i must be a lazy pig. (or the better alternative, im exhuasted from netball, i like this one better)
zzz, i wna sleep
& i hate TAPEEEEE
pouts badly. going for lunch tmr (my idea somemore(!)) & thus i have to miss CSI. poutssssssssssss. stupid me ):
at least tuesday's gna be quite pleasant :D
300 & counting, (-sticks out tongue)
i miss my BEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD !!!!!
throw me a lifeline
10:10 PM
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Friday, April 27, 2007
sometimes, life suckks
1) you are so determined to cut your hair but it seems like almost everybody's telling you that you looked better with longer hair. (good game lohh)
2) it jst keeps raining, your matches keeps getting postponed. i'm not that worried about missing lessons (i don't know why) but i jst get very irritated with the fact that i'm going to kallang almost everyday, reaching home DEAD TIRED & cant stay awake during lessons or whatever, & the fact that i've gta tape my ankles almost everyday. it's not a good process, taking out that tapes. it's like the tape's sticky part is still stuck on my ankle. omgwtfbbq.
3) you've got some blooooooodeh ulcers in your mouth. & it hurts like -uck. ):
4) it jst doesn't seem like your day, or rather your week.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh.
but yet there're simple pleasures in life, like of cos lessons & friends (mainly) & prayers. & webbies that let you watch shows on the comp.
January freesia, hot coffee, winter sunlight :D
throw me a lifeline
8:46 PM
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Thursday, April 26, 2007
the happiest of people do not necessarily get all that they want. they jst make the best of whatever they've got.
yowzharrr ! i feel like munching on some chips now, i really do, jst that it'll be so sinful & i'd never forgive myself if i do. sianszx. i really admire those people who high super high metabolism rate. uggghhhh.
i feel uber slack nowadays. & i guess it's cos i don't think that i should be putting in any effort since i've got an excuse NOT to. which really stinkks. so i guess i should start on some chem now, seeing as how it's kinda due tmr. hawhaws.
& i think it's quite unfair that i do that even though i'm not one of you. sianszx.
i agree wiv mellie & joanne. :D at least i've got buddies !
i jst can't wait for life to switch to study mode, at least there's no such thing as top7 out of a top12, sighs.
it hurts the most when - doesn't expect you to do this & that.
like whateverr, i don't believe i can put in my all after ytd & today. it's not like - expects me to be uber good.
yes, im thinking too much. byebye. tor & toise :D :D
i hate moodswings & i hate being easily sensitive.
it sucks when you dont know when you'd start acting up again.
at least 7ams perk me up. a hundred for ME & fortyone (only :p) for YOU !
yes ! shy baby.
p/s it's really good to see lover these few days ! =D
throw me a lifeline
8:52 PM
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commentless, speechless.
i'd really rather that you know how i feel, but i guess at times, it's best that i keep quiet.
serendipity, a fortunate accident, we'll see how it goes.
it isn't the end girls, fight on !
throw me a lifeline
5:55 PM
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007
it's been a blessing for us that the match's postponed, so girls, give it your all tmr. it's only 30mins, not 1 hour !
do keep in mind that we CAN do it, don't EVER give up !
my netties are the best ! (:
tor & toise ! =D
lurrvee
throw me a lifeline
10:38 PM
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Sunday, April 22, 2007
yo wassup, sunday's ending, mean's monday's coming (!!)have you ever hated someone so much that even though he/she doesn't make you pissed, & your day has been perfect & good, you'd still wna kill him/her.yay, i get to see the netties. :Di hate you & you. ): it's absolutely making my life a living hell. i hope next year faster come. then i can move out & live in a hostel where i hope my roomie is a good & loving christian.yay, i get to see the class. :Dprayer works. we jst have to keep praying.but ive prayed since primary 4 ? primary 5 ? things didn't change.is all these supposed to make me feel stronger ? but i dont want ):yay, especially, i get to see you (:sighs.
throw me a lifeline
7:19 PM
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yo wassup, im in quite a good mood today. :D i like i like. this is good cos it means i'll study hard later :D on sundays, i never start studying til after 3 :D (that's when CSIs end xD) yiiiippeeee ! so here goes, to yongjun, my one & only retarded jerk (hahas, he self proclaims xD)
RULES: Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post of their own 6 idiosyncrasies as well as clearly state this rule.after stating your 6 weirdness you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names at the bottom of the entry. Don't forget to leave a comment on their tagboards that says youre tagged! and tell them to read your blog for information as to what it means.
By the way, idiosyncrasy means:-a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual!
1) i dig my nose every morning & i dig my belly button before i bathe. (when im at home, du-uh, not in camps or chalet, it'll be grosssssss)
2) after 10pm, i'll be dead tired if i'm still awake. but if i remain awake til 12am, i won't feel tired anymore.
3) i get irritated very easily & then i'll totally moodswing.
4) if i don't like an actor/actress, i won't ever watch the movies he/she appear in, even though it's given 5 popcorns or whatsoever.
5) if im addicted to a song, i'll listen to it non stop, but after awhile, i'll get so sick of the song, then i won't want to listen to it anymore.
6) if im like watching a reality series show like project runway, the apprentice etc etc, i'll watch the first few episodes very intently, then after that i dont care anymore & jst watch the last episode, hahas.
6 people to do this: (i don't even know who reads my blog, hehs)
death note death note ! :D:D:D:D:D
jiayou netties, we can do it.
throw me a lifeline
11:53 AM
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Saturday, April 21, 2007
pressure's kicking in.
jiayou netties, we can do it !
jiayou S10, we can do it !
not hey God, i've got a big competition.
but hey competition, i've got a big God.eagles' wingsYou who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust."
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
For to His angels He's given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
throw me a lifeline
2:10 PM
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Thursday, April 19, 2007
when you say noth at allthe huge enormous pressure is now starting to get to me.
i finally get the importance of time management, no more slacking, no more pigging out. (-crosses fingers)
it's quite hard to score when you've got to spend so much time on netball.
it's like almost sucking the life out of me.
im home late cos of netball.
many a times the thought of quitting will pass through my mind.
quitting = more time to study, more time to catch up on work, no need to mug for tests last minute, no need to do homework jst the day before, more benefits for my A-levels.
butttttttttt, that thought will somehow disappear each time i see my netties.
yes, certainly, when you join a team game there are different reasons for each person to stay in the team & give your all. my main motivation is my team, & of cos my coaches. ive never felt like i belonged til i came into this jj team. sometimes i hope that netball is over, but other times i enjoy myself laughing in the team. it's such an irony.
there are so many times when i jst feel like throwing everyth to the wind & jst give up, quit school, go do someth else, someth more pleasurable. sometimes i feel tired of the enormousity of the pressure on me. it sucks when you've been doing good in your j1 life, teachers expect the same from you in j2. it sucks when your brother studied mere months before his A's & clinched a BBC, & you're smarter than him. your parents expect AAAA.
sometimes i feel so alone, i wished i could curl up & jst close out the world, since they choose for me to be alone. but things always get better, at that precise moment, taadaaaaaaaa, help arrived in the form of a boyfriend (: (yay !)
throw me a lifeline
9:54 PM
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Sunday, April 15, 2007
you are my sunshine
my only sunshine (:the best feeling in the world is when your boyfriend & your bestfriends are in the same room wiv you (:
i think that ytd was one of the best days ive had (:
throw me a lifeline
6:09 PM
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Saturday, April 14, 2007
cos we're all about You
& the life You've promisedwe're all working so hard, putting in double the amount of effort, trg til late nights & forfeiting studying for tests to train. it's not like as if we're guaranteed a place in the second round, we've still gta work hard for it. even though we deserve it, they aren't gna jst give it to us. but what if we can't go through ? everyth's WASTED. for jst one moment in life, one teeny moment, all our hard work gone down the drain. ): so dumb, so stupid, so IRONIC. jst like A's. if you're a straight A student all the while, yet suddenly, jst coincidentally your life crumbled near the A's. you can't concentrate, but who the hell cares that you were a straight A student ? your A level grades don't reflect it ! we're all working hard for one point in time, but what if we've been goodie girls, goodie boys, what if we really jst screw up for that one time. it's OVER, we're GONE CASE. isn't that so ironic ?
when asked by the coaches our preferred treatment before matches. i chose that the team left me alone to blast my music. on the bus home today i put all my loud music into one folder. blasting works miracles. it's so weird, there are songs that hype you up & put you into gear, yet there are also songs that make you feel emo & sad & all that shit. i don't know whether to thank God for songs, or the other way round.
it's so weird, i sometimes feel like quite a loner. then i will jst totally moodswing & insist that i be left alone. but even though i insist on it, i never really mean it :/ i feel so ironic at times. when i ask everyone to leave me alone, i still need them to be there for me. hahas, quite hypocritical. but yet, when i moodswing & no one cares, it might hurt, but i'll feel better faster. that's the MOST ironic thing. i felt like a loner today, alot of times. i've got so many friends (literally) that i'm missing out on one part of my friends when i'm talking to another. ): sighs, i don't know what's wrong.
& i realised the worseeee thingy about me, i insist that i miss them that i wna meet up wiv them, YET i dont make the effort to plan anyth or whatsoever. when i found out that jeraldine & sherri meet up very often, i realised that im quite a failure as a bff luhh. when the retarded-jerk msged me, i realised that im quite a failure as a friend luhh. then i qns myself why ? then i counter back, but you're busy, you've got no time. excuses are for losers. if ive got enough time everyday to blog, i sure as hell have got enough time to call my bff up for a quick update about her life. hmmmmms.
& i realised, i really suddenly realised that im blaming my yucksy grades & my not doing homeworks on netball. but thennnnn, it isn't true. if i do have proper time management & better discipline, there'd be no problem handling them all. i mean after trgs i'll def be tired, but it's not like i'm trg everyday ! i should cut down on teevee time, comp time, doing other stuffs time & turn to working on my homeworks instead. it's so easy to give an excuse, blame another thing another person, but how often do we look upon ourselves & find that the fault actually lies in us ? im thinking all these thoughts now, & i know i gta do someth, i'll still end up not doing it til too late. uggh.
in a fit of boredom, i decided to browse through some of my friends friendster photos. & wtshit, there are like a handful of them who have photos of slit wrists on the friendster. i don't feel pity or worried for them, i feel utter DISGUST. it's like they're seeking attention, putting photos on FRIENDSTER for all to see ? wtshit. that's where i totally changed my view of cutting. never ever.
wahahas, i jst suddenly realised that my post is quite dreary. wth. im actually feeling quite elated. my long awaited saturday is here ! :D (: (: (: (: (: (:
happy 2nd month love (:
throw me a lifeline
12:00 AM
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Thursday, April 12, 2007
flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things come to an endyou must pardon me, im too lazy to charge my ipod so my supply of songs are from my handphone & i dont have many, so those lines jst keep running in my head, im quite deprived, i know. any kind soul wna send me songs ? (hahas !)
im gna retake & retake til i get my straight A's man. ): my last year taking napfaaaaa, i want my A's. ahahas. but im quite scared, overbent my knee while rejumping standing board jump ): && my arm muscles hurt like shit, it was all i could do to complete EIGHTEEN (jst 18 mind you) inclined ): so sadddedddd. forced someone who's exhausted to send me home, i feel quite bad, luckily we didnt go for kway chap ! start skipping, & get my A for standing board jump. i must OWN this year, i must. sit & reach ? another story luhh, wahahs.
i want to eat kway chap, i hate hate hate cravings, wahahas.
but ahh, it gives us a purpose :D
saturday's coming. sriously, it feels like sucha long time til sat arrives, BUTTTTT i bet that sat will zoom pass me fast ): i dont want. wahahas. im quite random today.
there's chem SPA tmr, i don't care alr. given up memorising for it. i jst dont understand studying is not equal to memorising, but nowadays, it jst seems that way.
im having the sudden craving to shift my blog, wahahas :D
throw me a lifeline
10:08 PM
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
kiss on the cheeki dont know why, i feel quite happy today (:
but the only thing that made me feel so sad is that most of the buddies around me aren't themselves. & i always find out second-hand. i feel like giving them a hug (guy & girl likewise) or a pat. but since i found out second-hand, i can't give it to them as i would like it too. there are someths that you jst can't express through a msg or words or anyth. but a hug says all, says "i'm here for you". if you ask me if im okay & i'm not, i'd still say yes. but once you hug me, i may cry, but i'll be good after that. loads of hugs to JACINDA, MELLIE, JOY, MUZAI, (& someone else).
it's heartwrenching really, but i don't know what to say, what to tell them. ): sighs.
12th april is coming soon. i'm staying up til 12midnight (it's gna be a tough one, fighting my habit of sleeping BY ten) jst to msg my BFF a very happy 18th. SO LADY, YOU BETTER APPRECIATE THAT MSG ! <333333
of cos, 12th april coming means that FOURTEENTH is coming (:
i was on the comp researching for TCA3 (i almost forgot about it, til someone nice reminded me :D) wahahas, i gave up luhh, (du-uh), so here i amm. i've got 1hour30mins to wasteeeeeeeee. you know what that calls for ! :D QUIZZES, wahahas :D
ARE YOU:
1. A cuddler?: i love cuddling, but i am karolyn.
2. A morning person?: i feel better in mornings, but i am karolyn.
3. Tall?: i'm around 164 (?) judge for yourself, but i am karolyn.
4. In your pajamas?: im sort of wearing what im gna sleep in, but still, i am karolyn
5. Left handed?: i think lefties are really COOOOOL, im not lefthanded, not im karolyn ! (wahahas, i bet i jst irritated the shit out of anybody who read the last 5 questions ! :p)
LAST:
1. Friend you saw: the boyfriend. :D
2. Talked to on the phone?: my mom's friend
3. Friend you texted: the boyfriend :D
5. Was today better than yesterday? i'd guess so. i'm feeling mighty better (:
FAVORITE:
1. Number: 19 & 14 ! :D
2. Season: i like spring ! i dont know why.
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: Do you like anybody right now?
A: yesh :D
Q: What was the first thing you did this morning?
A: open my eyes
Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: my friends being SAD ! ):
Q: What's the last movie you watched and who'd you watch it with?
A: SUNSHINE ! :D mother brother uncle
Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: jec !
Q: Do you smile often?
A: wahahas, everyone says i do.
Q: Do you wish upon stars?
A: nope
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: yes i am !
Q: Where did you sleep last night?
A: on my bed !
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: greeeen :D
Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: last wednesday.
Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
A: to clear all thoughts from my brain so i can sleep.
Q: What are you about to do?
A: answer the next question.
Q: Rate life as of right now 1-10?
A: 5
Q: What do you hear right now?
A: it's 12, go & sleep.
Q: If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
A: waterrrrrr ! (-melon juice, wahahas)
Q: Does anything hurt right now?
A: my eyes.
Q: What's your favorite month?
A: june ! (& february)
Q: What’s your favorite bottled water?
A: moutain spring or someth like that, who takes note !
Q: Have a best friend?
A: whose birthday's tmr.
Q: How many kids do you want/have?
A: TWOOOOO
TEN EMOTIONS:
1. Are you missing someone right now?: quite
2. Are you happy?: quite
3. Are you talking to anyone right now?: yes
5. Are you German?: i wish
6. Are you Irish?: i wish
7. Are you Asian?: i am
8. Are you Italian?: i wish
9. Are your parents still married?: sadly, yes
10. Do you like someone right now?: of cos
TEN FACTS:
1. Hometown: sgp
2. Hair color: black (?)
3. Height: short. ):
4. Hair style: messyyyy
5. Eye color: too small to be seen.
6. Birthday: coming soon !
7. Mood: happy
8. Available?: you jst wait lohh.
9. Lefty/righty: righty, sadly
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:
2. Do you believe in love?: of cos
3. Why did your last relationship fail?: i dont care anymore
4. Have you ever been heartbroken?: of cos
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart?: i wouldnt like to think so
6. Have you had more than 10 girlfriends/boyfriends?: nope, thank goodness
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?: yes
8. Are you afraid of commitment?: not really, if it's committing to someth i like =D
9. Have you ever had a secret admirer?: if i did, it's a SECRET admirer, how would i know !
TEN THINGS:
1. Love or lust?: love baby, love.
3. Cats or dogs?: chihwahwas, wahahahas. okie, i prefer dogs.
4: One best friend or 10 regular friends?: bestie
5. Television or internet?: intraaanet
6. Pepsi or Coke?: zilch
7. Wild night out or romantic night in?: rni
9. Night or day?: niightttt. =D
10. AIM or phone?: phone please
SEVEN HAVE Y0U EVERS:
1. Been caught sneaking out?: nopeee
2. Skinny dipped?: nopeee
3. Done something you regret?: who hasnt ?
4. Bungee jumped?: nope, but i'd really really want to.
5. Been on a house boat ?: nope
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker?: wassat ?
7. Wanted something so badly it hurt? nope, not really.
How old were you when u first...
1. Fell in love
14.
2. Lost someone close to you?
17
3. Drank alcohol
15
4. Smoked
-not applicable-
5. Got kissed
7 ? 8 ?
6. Went to the hospital
0. i was born there
7. Got your heart broken?
14
8. Lost a pet
10 ? my pet fish died
9. Got arrested
-not applicable-
11. Broken a bone
-not applicable-
12. Got a job
-not applicable-
13. Got cheated on
-not applicable-
14. Rode the city bus alone?
10
15. Went to a concert?
-not applicable-
16. Got a cell phone
12 (cell phone, no sim card, what's the use, hahas)
17. Snuck out of the house
16
18. how old are you now?
17 going on 18, wahahas.
Write exactly whats in your head and
don't change it
1. My ex is still: an ex
2. I am listening to: tv sounds, hahas.
3. Maybe I should: go to sleep
4. I love: chinhua ! :D
5. My best friends: aren't in my school ):
6. I don't understand: complex numbers, shoot mathaiiiiiiiiii
7. I lost my respect for: my blarrrrrdiiiiieee principaaaal.
8. I last drank: waterr
9. The meaning of my display name is: my name >.<
10. Love is: brilliant, wahahas.
11. Somewhere: over the rainbow
12. I will always: be a girl
13. Love seems to be: blind
14. I never ever want to lose: faith
15. My mobile phone is - nokia
16. When I woke up this morning: i wanted to sleep more ): more more more more more !
17. I get annoyed at : some squeaky thing. volume is inversely proportional to size, hahas.
18. Parties: birthday, wahahahahahas. im so weird
19. My pet(s): has fleas ): can't go down to pee/shit, so she does it very very conventionally in my room. not fair ! ~!@#$%^&*
20. Chocolate: is sinful.
21. Today I: feel happy !
22. I wish/hope: 12midnight comes fasterrrrrr
23. I really want : to sleep ):
blehhhs.
i wish that there's a cure for headaches & wooziness & nausea, & most of all a cure for heartbreak. wahahas.
i realise that i suddenly do think alot, wtshit. ahahas.
pooopoooooooooo. ):
i don't like GP.
throw me a lifeline
11:03 PM
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i hate waking up to mosquito bites.
~!@#$%^&* pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttt.
all over my KNEEEEEE & thighs. & the worst thing is I WEAR LONG PANTS TO SLEEP.
grrrrrrrrrrrrr, slap the mosquies faces, then they'll burst & my blood will be oozing out from their body. MY blood, not THEIR icky sicky blood. punch them.
(note : ignore my violent language please :D)
on a lighter note, today's weds, it means that saturday's one day nearer than ytd ! (:
throw me a lifeline
7:01 AM
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007
why do all good things come to an endi got FULL MARKS for my math test ! :D :D :D :D :D
i wanted to scream YAY out loud during math, but no no, i'm not as retarded as you think i am.
(-sticks out tongue !)
finally, i'm getting on par wiv the rest in MATH.
phy & chem test next. gearing myself up (my arse luhh)
we aren't easily contented are we ?
my lappie's only fault, it keeps disconnecting me from MSN, i can't stand it.
(omg, i can even hear my ownself answering "then sit down luuuhhh !" shit)
i stood infront of the 19.90 bucks 14inch tigger & refused to move. childish i know, but stiiillll, i didnt get it ))))))))))))))): dam sad. i din get it so i din want anyth else, punch you. i was sulky & anyone could tell, but i knew i couldnt get it so i tried my best to cheer up ! then then ! :D :D before i knew it, while me & siok were in the rest of the store wiv panda, he bought me this tigger handphone bell thingy. so cute ! i kept shaking it while walking :D :D :D yay, i love it when i get surprised, jst like yummy sandwiches & lol slideshows (: totally caught me off guard. yums ! :D
i feel like SLAPPING the bloodeh wireless except it can't be slapped. hahas. i better click publish before my wireless dieeeesss & i have to reset it again !
Labels: full marks, surprises, tigger bell
throw me a lifeline
11:17 PM
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Saturday, April 07, 2007
in places no one will find all your feelings so deep inside
forever was in your eyessomeone called me at 1plus2 am ! slept for only FOUR hours today, was dead tired. so on the way home i missed my stop by 3 stops. :x had to act calm & cool pretending that's my stop. then i walked home.
mission accomplishedd ! :D bought new shoes. not barricades though. it's mel's type jst pink (?) (or red) in colour. bought ear studs, like finally (: window shopped abit. bought this huge box of merci for lover & headed down to alexandra. wah, i think i barged in at the wrong time, lover wiv her boyfriend cuddling, hahahas. that definitely spells the wrong time. sherri ness sam came soon after & we all ended up laughing etc etc.
im happy today ! i kept looking & then smiling. simple pleasures in life. i realised where i was wrong alr (: wheeeeee.
found out im taking napfa wiv everybody else. aaaaahhhhhh ! im not mentally prepared ! hahas. :D i need motivation & my timer better be a good motivator (:, like run wiv me or someth. hahas. our plan to go jogging tgt arrrrh :D :D & walking back home from school arrrrh ! :D i hope i have the mood to run on monday. ohkay.
so tmr, ive gta study for math test, study for chem SPA trial, do chem galvanic, do physics SPA practise & psych myself for running 2.4 on monday. well done. i think i'm gna have to skip watching my CSIs tmr. i'll watch the night ones. oh wait, there's SOCCER, wtshit. i wna watch. i dont care, im gna watch my CSIs. hahas, wtshit. im like convincing myself. aiyer.
obviously i'm quite tired, my thoughts aren't straight (not that i'm thinking dirrty either) but jst jumbled. but i know if i sleep now, i'll prolly wake up at 9 plus. & i dont want that. i cant study til after CSIs on sundays. so i'll be wasting the morning away, sighs ):
oh & i better get used to my new shoes before monday, otherwise i'll dieeeeee ! aiyer, haas.
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sherri !
sam !
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ness !
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wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai (:
& neverrrrrr let goi think it's time to sleep. (:
it's someth i don't dread anymore ! :D
waking up to a brand new day. good night world !
throw me a lifeline
11:30 PM
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Friday, April 06, 2007
he's more than a man
& this is more than love
the reason that this guy is blue105.jpg)
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my new watch, drooools~~~~~
today is GOOD FRIDAY because
1) most importantly, (: (: (: i was am is fricking happy that we're okay. it might not be easy, but i'm confident we'll pull through.
2) i got a new watch. it's fricking cool. & it cost a whoooooping 245 bucks. okay 50% off, but that's till 122.5 bucks. woohoo. my early bday presentt ! :D
3) im FINALLY gna get my new barricades tmr. :D i finally decided to tell my parents that i need a new shoe. i was dam lazy too. then i realised on weds match that frick, my shoe is a goner. 3 years baby, it's time to renew them.
4) we've been msging the whole day (almost, but what the heck) (:
5) ohh, i caught sunshine today. i give it 5 popcorns plus two thumbs up. it's fricking good i tell you. superrrrrr nice !
6) i finally bought the pink panadol. (as it's nicely called) my cramps won't hurt that bad. especially next month when cramps clash wiv A'div & nov when cramps clash wiv A'levels. yupp.
6) most most importantly, He died to save us on this day.
today isn't that good because
1) i couldn't find my m)phosis clutch. not on stock anymore ): superrrrr saddedd. it was dam dam nice. butttt on the good side, i've got a new watch ! :D
2) found out that lover's in the hospital ! visting her tmr.
in spite of the fact that we're back tgt, it's jst one short day that we're apart, but yet the amount of people who was there for me was jst unexpected. i've really gta thank muzai & kuinoi, who ponned chem lect wiv me jst so that i won't be alone. then aaron & joshua kong who ponned THEIR chem lect to stay wiv me. yiyan who bought this tube of chocolate for me, the strawberry triangle thingy. jacinda who bought me this tigger lollipop. ber who wrote me a wonderful postcard. hanyang, who really really unexpectedly msged me at night to ask if i'm okay & i didn't tell him ANYTH. the netballers who jst kept talking to me as much as the could so i wouldn't be alone drowning in my thoughts. i rmb once when we were stretching, i stared into blank space & bammmm i started crying. the slacker defenders jst surrounded me to make me feel betterr. i like the defenders talk (: hahas, when we jst group tgt & isolate ourselves, hahas :D ness who talked to me online after reading my post (dam, i miss the clique) & everyone who msged me. there were REALLY unexpected ones like derrick. then there were those who gave me a smile & a talk. like christina (!), louis, rachel (who followed up wiv a msg), evelyn (who followed up wiv a msg), joy, yiqi (& kangsheng). there were those who gave me a pat, im still trying to figure out who was the person who patted me on my shoulder while i was crying in the morning, still don't know who. there were those who gave me tissue packs, kuinoi, vanessa & kongster. hahas :D & there were those who talked to me online, like ness. those who sent me emails, like desiree (!) those who irritated the shit outta me, like YONGJUN. wahlao, me talked to me, smiled at me, patted me, talked to me online, msged me. i didn't feel like replying him luhh, wtshit. then there's those who tagged, like louis, muzai & husni. (:
those are the bestest people man (: the netties especially. (: (: (: & my fairfield juniors. hahas. i love it how the fairfield people sit tgt during their breaks. keeping the bond strong ! really sitting tgt lohh. hahas. & what's the best thing about my fairfield juniors, i NEVER, & i mean NEVER talked to them BEFORE in fairfield (except bryan fokkkk). yet they were the ones who truly made me laugh my guts out luhh. (when they left for lessons & i was alone again, i cried again luhh) hahas. helped aaron wiv his PI, stupid PW still haunts me ~!@#$%^&* hahas, wtshit.
i'm left wiv SUNDAY to do all my homework & all. CSIs til 3pm. then do math revision exercise, physics spa A practise, chem galvanic cell. (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh)
(:
you the best !
thank You Lord, for all of themLabels: ADIDAS WATCH., friends, good friday
throw me a lifeline
9:11 PM
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Wednesday, April 04, 2007
i read through my post.
deemed it shallow, emotional, & retarded.
it was as if my heart was taking over my body & i'm jst typing everyth out.
now calm & rational, i still want you.
):
throw me a lifeline
11:34 PM
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wo yao xie xie ni gei de ni na zou de yi qie
hai ai ni dai yi dian hen
hai yao shi jian cai neng ping hengerased my long emo post.
a picture says a thousand words, so here's my self created version of my thousand words.
thanks everybody. for being there.
p/s bye world. go going gone.
throw me a lifeline
9:54 PM
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Tuesday, April 03, 2007
it lasted forever but ended so soon
in places no one will find all your feelings so deep insidewhen you feel sad, what do you do ?
i wanted to eat hello panda. but i realised, eating hello panda = waste money + more fats = even more sad. so i opted to walk home today. walked a lil bit wiv adrian (durian) lam. & im even planning to walk TO school EVERYDAY. that means 5.30am wake up alarms.
sadness, how do you define sadness ?
is crying part of sadness ?
is a frown part of sadness ?
is opting to be alone part of sadness ?
is choosing to walk away part of sadness ?
is keeping quiet part of sadness ?
i think not. in front of others, when my mind's busy entertaining them, sure smiles & laughter & witty comebacks fill my thoughts. but when it all ends, when it's quiet, when you're left alone wiv thoughts, that's when i feel i'll get engulfed by it all. stand strong, be strong, feel strong. mentally strong, physically strong, spiritually strong, emotionally strong. if you could choose to only be strong in one aspect, which would it be ?
i jst wish today would end faster. im geared up wiv negative thoughts in my head. i don't know what the outcome will be. & i really really fear for the worse. i know even though i've cried thinking that would be the outcome. in the end, i'll cry once more.
got a big talk by yiyan & siokhui. i like it when people can sense when you're down, even though you're smiling. but the best is those who can sense when you're down through a couple of msges, even though youre saying hahas. so far, i only know 2 people who ever sensed that, & it's not siok or yiyan luhh.
sometimes, i wish my life didn't have some days. jst minus off those days then i'd be a happy girl. perhaps jst minus off the day when my mother & my father made me, then perhaps you would be a happy person (: or perhaps... hahas, stupid thoughts. everyth happens for a reason.
to make me strongerrrr ? to get me more preparedddd ?
): i dont want.
all i want is you.sometimes, i pray & pray. noth happens. God, are You there ? God, help me. ):
i once heard that God answers in 3 different answers.
yes
no
or, wait.
God's always there (:
shy, still do. now & tmr & the day after tmr & the week after tmr.
forever ? maybe not. but in the near future, definitely.
hold on ? i don't know.
thousand jumbled up thoughts. now's the time when i wish i would get a phone call or a msg.
thinking too much ain't good.
i should study. (:
throw me a lifeline
3:13 PM
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Monday, April 02, 2007
today.
>two people said i slimmed down ! woohoo. mission accomplished :D
>i didn't cry, im proud of myself (:
>i realised what i could do to make me feel better ((:
>i finally got the guts to tell you.
trgs make me so busy that i won't think about it. joanne today invented a new song about drinking water. cos we went for quite long wivout a break. (them longer than me cos i went late for trg, stupid ll) dam funny. mellie was supposed to do the back up, but she ended up laughing nonstop.
i dread the breaks, i dread the end of trg. the enormousity of my problems suddenly come crashing down one me. i dont like ):
i looked up into the sky. the world is so huuuuggeeee. everyone's got problems, why's mine so big to me, why's mine so important ? i've got the basic things in life. then i realised, prayer works (: it always does, what was i thinking. when we're down, the best thing to do is find a quiet spot & jst pray. (: i walked from netball court to staff room & back. okay, not exactly quiet, but yepp, i felt so much better after that prayer (: guide me ! :D
maybe i do regret passing you the letter. but admist all the regrets, i think it's good that you know how i feel now. (:
the sky was red tonight. should have taken a photo. hmmmms.
hahas, there's someth about sceneries that appeal me, uhhuh (:
o0oh, today me & oddest ponned abit of the super boring ll. went to canteen & ate abit. (: hahas :D borrowed money from yongjun luhh ! :D:D hahas. alamak.
i think it's time to sleep. i gta wake up earllyy tmr. topping up ezlink myself :D im proud of me, hahas :D
thank You Lord, for being there (:Labels: prayer works
throw me a lifeline
10:16 PM
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Sunday, April 01, 2007
at a last futile attempt, she blurted out the three words, wishing, hoping, praying that she would get her response.
he mumbled someth, then nodded his head & smiled at her.
his smile soon turned to disbelief as he racks his brain to the reason why she's sitting there looking at him with silent tears pouring down her face.
boys just don't get it.
throw me a lifeline
10:23 PM
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i typed this post on how i feel.
expectations killbut i realised, why ? i don't want the whole world to know.
expectations killall i want is you. all i want is you to know.
expectations killso wtshit.
expectations killexpectations killbye world.
expectations killexpectations killexpectations killexpectations killp/s yongjun, i'm sorry. i can't really help much cos i'm trying hard to sort out me. so, i'm sorry. but cheer up.
expectations killexpectations killexpectations killexpectations killexpectations killsometimes, i wish i could curl up into a ball & cry my heart out. but each time i do that, i think it only makes everyth worse ):
expectations kill
throw me a lifeline
8:31 PM
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this i promise you1. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
hahas, in a nutshell, im against it.
2. Do you bite your toenails?
no, that's... gross luhh !
3. Are you a jealous person?
yes :x
4. What are you allergic to?
beef. so sad right !
5. What books, if any, have made you cry?
errr, hahas, i can't rmb. i read so much books luhh, if they're touching enough, i'll cry. but really, the authors that can make you cry are the really good ones.
6. Does it get annoying when somebody says they'll call you, but doesn't?
of cos luhh. >.<
7. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
rocky roaddd
8. Whose car were you in last?
my own car. (hahas, i wish) errr, the co-owned car by my family ? okay the co-owned car by my parents >.<
9. What would you rather be doing right now?
yakking away on the phone. hahas.
10. What song lyrics, if any, are stuck in your head at the moment?
lips of an angellll~
13. What's your favorite TV show?
CSI CSI CSI ! :D
14. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
i get along mighty fine wiv both.
15. Can others make you cry easily?
someONE can.
16. Who was the last person to piss you off?
piss me off ? errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i cant rmb.
17. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
yes, very.
18. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
hahas, nope.
19. If you could be any type of fruit what would you be?
a banana. hahas, tall & skinny.
23. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
i jst need sleep.
25. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
orientation ?
26. Have you ever been attracted to someone but physically unattracted to them?
wahahahas, yes. :x
27. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex?
funny.
28. Do you like traveling via airplane?
i liiiike. except when it lands, i still cant get used to the ear-popping thingy when the air pressure changes. aaah, wth. but i must must get used to it.
29. Would you ever date someone almost covered in tattoos?
nope.
30. Do you believe the guy/girl should pay on the first date?
i expect the guy to luhh. okay, im very old-ish. hahas, wth.
31. Do you currently want any piercings/tattoos?
yesyes, i wna pierce my belly button.
33. Which do you make: dreams or plans?
both.
34. Can you speak any languages other than English?
of cos. im good in chinese okay.
35. What is your favorite salad dressing?
thousand island
36. What movies do you know every line to?
the parent trap :D
37. What was the best part of this week?
the sick thus i can sleep one whole day part.
38. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
ehhhh. nope
39. Have you told someone else that secret?
if no secret how to tell ? >.<
40. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
depends on who. aaaah :D
41. Do you wear flip-flops even when its cold outside?
hahas, yes !
42. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
mashed potato potato potato~
45. When was your last road trip?
never had one
46. Name 3 countries you've been to:
chiangrai (that's thailand), cheeeena, australia
48. Four names you go by?
karolyn, karo, karol, errr.. jia yi ?!
49.Who is in the house with you?
everybody.
50. What are you thinking about right now?
i want 12pm to come faster, faster ! :D
:D coolio.
me, siok, yiyan, xinyi :D hahahas :D
we were in the photonics lab & were highly amused by the HOT PINK goggles luhh. hahas :D
okay, it's time for me to go find other entertainment to entertain me til 12pm comes. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
& i've got this feeling that someth bad is going to happen.
sometimes, it's not what you SAY that matters, it's what you DIDN'T SAY that matters.
im thinking too much, i know.
& it doesn't help that today's april fools.
thank You Lord, for cushions
throw me a lifeline
11:12 AM
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