Monday, March 26, 2007

have you ever felt that life was unfair ?

top 15 announced today, so what if im in ? it's who's NOT in that really matters. sometimes we can never get what the coaches are thinking, so unpredictable. we were all predicting who would get a spot in the top15. counted down & stuffs. the result is totally suckkkkkkkk. i scolded the f-word super alot of times. sighs. tall big shot arrh, tall big deal arrh. who says the best players must be tall ? super alot of unhealthy words were whispered among the seniors today. we jst couldnt understand the final outcome. why woud two tall but with totally ZILCH experience get in ? yet the ones who worked so hard, the ones who have definitely improved didn't even get a chance to show what they're worth ? super sucky.

walked to the center circle of the netball court & sat down there. i pondered that the world is so big, & there are so many different problems in life, sure as hell, everyone has got one, no matter how small or big. pre-existing or over. then i saw the cars/lorries/buses/motorcycles zoom pass the netball court, why's everybody in a rush ? slow down, slow down. take a break & enjoy life ? but who am i to say ? we're all in a competitive society that the true meaning of enjoyment is lost. how often are we able to sit at a hilltop totally carefree ? the chances are zilch. thinking our thoughts make us feel emo, makes us feel lousy, like shit. we can never really be carefree. neverrr.

second time i sat down there, the tears started flowing alr. so of cos, i seeked aid from ch. the phone call lasted 1hour10minutes plus. but definitely, my attitude stank, i could smell it & cringe my nose that the stench. when youre pissed why can you never control what youre going to say, even if it means making those close to you hurt ? why must we be given emotions ? to cry ? to get angry ? to even laugh ? adults often complain we're not studying hard enough. is STUDYING & then WORKING all there is to life ? getting married, giving birth to kids, going out with friends, going to see b-e-a-utiful scenries not someth they stress on ? i'll show them, flunk school then i go marry a rich husband then they know, grrr. (okay im not really srious, my husband's a pilot.) somehow, talking to the right people jst makes you feel better. obviously the first person that came to my mind was chinhua luhh. the second would be a netballer, but too bad, i cant really say it to them. so guess who popped into my mind when i thot that chinhua isn't free ? YONGJUN luhh. quite surprisingly.

why must life give you problems that make you feel you suck.
why must life give you failed missions that make you feel you arent up to standard.

we can complain all we like about life.
but in the end, we're jst playing into the hands of the devil.
there must be some reason that we're brought into earth, some reason why we meet the people we know NOW & not later. some reason. we might not know it now, but soon, ONE DAY we will.



somehow i feel that my thoughts are contradicting each other, what the shit luhh. im in a confused state of mind now. i dont understand alot of things. we work our butts off to get good grades, only that we can bring it to grave, yet not to heaven. hmms.







we had joy, we had fun


what a perfect team, short nonetheless, but still the best team ive been in.















thank You Lord, for JJ Netball'06-07

Labels: life, netball.

throw me a lifeline
10:40 PM

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