Saturday, July 29, 2006

if you're a heart wivout a home
a rebel wivout a cause
if you feel as though
you're always stranded on the shore
like a thief in the night
let me steal your heart away
baby if for reasons, what you're looking for
i'll be yours



past vs present, it felt good to step into fairfield grounds, to see the fairfield uniform and all that. but the thing, or rather the person, i wanted to see the most, wasn't there. why was i so expecting him to suddenly pop out of nowhere and go "karokarokaroPI ?" i guess i miss him too much, & i dont know why.

SUPERSEB ! :D tonny used tape to paste the letter "T" onto his tee, i did a letter "S" for seb, and then i did the triangle thang for him too, superman's sign :D. i would post up pictures of him, if not for blogger having some dumb problem.


i guess the highlight of my day was the chat wiv mr kwa. i like teachers that can talk to me & give me advices, i dont mind sharing my thoughts with them, so far in jjc, ive met no teacher like that, yes not even mr leow or whatever. its now that i realised, even with 4As, ive made my wrong choice in a jc. i shouldnt have put too much priority into being an OGL, i should have chosen AC as my first choice. 12 points in JJ ? it's a waste for me. i'd rather be getting E grades in AC, with the harder tests, better notes, better tutorials. i get my training ground for university there, but oh wells, we all make choices in our lives, and this time i made a wrong choice. No, dont get me wrong, JJC is wonderful, i mean the people there are wonderful, but the study environment there sucks. i always wonder why Pookie transferred back to jj, it's a waste for him. Thanks Mr Kwa, for that chat, funny guy. but i will make do with my choice, i will do great for my A levels. it's too late to turn back now.

now come to think of it, why didn't i listen to my parents ? is being an OGL that important ? if i fail my A levels, being an OGL wont help much. why did i really stay ? was i just going along with the crowd ? was i just wanting to stay because my friends were there ? why was i so blind then ? was it cos of someone, some particular person ? i guess i'll never know why jj so strongly attracted me to it. argued and fought over that first choice of mine, regrets ? plentiful, but i never regret a day wiv the ppl in jj, definitely. and i always believe that there's a reason for everyth, God is behind those reasons. i remained in jj for a reason, yes. what's that reason ? i'll know soon. i hope.

i must open my eyes and observe, and think, ask for advices before i make choices. it is my life, and no way do i want to screw it up. and ive made up my mind, i will stop cutting, my body is mine, no more scars. no matter how much it hurts, i wont cut, i wont i wont. i hope i wont.




i have faith in You Lord, faith.



saving money to buy Green adidas sneakers ! 119 bucks, i can do it ! (: at that time, anyone wna go queensway with me ? JP sucks man, was looking for a waterbottle at JP wiv Pookie, totally noth, im heading to queensway after the common tests, shop shop shop ! :D

p/s ive saved fifty so far, proud of myself. (:















thank You Lord, for teachers like Mr Kwa.

throw me a lifeline
9:36 PM

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