Saturday, April 29, 2006

people pass & listen to us laugh
wishing that they had the same thing <

the topic : soccer
the people involved : my mom & my bro
my bro > chelsea won the barclays cup
my mom > why din arsenal win?
my bro > cos they're not in it
my mom > then why din chelsea win the world cup?

uhhuh, i found someone more soccer-idiot than me (: yepp.


so ive got dates lined up in june
23rd - wiv snowwhite&dwarves
24th- wiv joe tan (finally (:)
and someday in june - wiv guoxi (in exchange for a testi, haha)


darlings, i'll always be here for you > to teeny carrot & oddball no. 1 & LOVER NG.

teeny carrot >
dont ): okie, but (: i'll be the crappy person to make you smile.

oddball >
dont cry, my shoulder's always here for you. & if it's not soft enough, i'll get facial tissue for you yes.

lover ng >
darling, no matter what happens at whatever time, i'll be there. im just a phonecall away okay ! always remember, there can never be a rainbow wivout any rain girl.



to you, i've alr sorted out my feelings. i just dont know how to tell you. it's hard enough typing this out. ive alr started letting go when school started, i just know i'll find the door that's opened for me. right now ive found that door. & im not gna close that door for a door that you shut. im sorry if this sounds harsh. but i really dont know how else to put it. im sorry. & im sure that you'll find your opened door soon yes. take care.


i slept for 12 hours straight. im feeling exhausted now. wonder why. everyth's just too draining. im just lucky matters of heart are settled now. i guess i dont want anymore anytime soon. unless of cos it's God-sent. what im looking for is a study buddy. & somebody who can perk me up when i need it, someone who's there for me. but mainly he must be someone who can be my best friend. yepp (:

anw on the concept bout best friends. must your bestfriend be one of same gender as you ? i dont think so. kuku seemed shocked when i told him my best friend's a guy. (hahas) must your best friend be the one you love ? i dont think so as well. i mean of cos i love my best friend, but it's just friendtofriend love, not those bgr type of things. so anw, i think my best friend doesn't even know that he's my best friend. hahs. so my best friend, you are my best friend okie. hahas, that doesn't make any sense. joe zuo yu dan ! (: thats you ! thanks for always being there dude. my bestest bestest best friend. hahas (:

well thats bout all for today. gna rush homeworks tmr. kuku, rmb to do yours ! =p=p.













thank You Lord, for those who are there for me.

throw me a lifeline
10:32 PM

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Friday, April 28, 2006

i wna scream it makes me feel alive <


this morning. i realised what was missing in my life. a daily dosage of 4c. ):
but then at the end of today i realised what was wonderful in my life, a daily dosage of s10 (:
yepp.

im feeling really much better now (:
thanks vanessa joanne & ber for the hug (:

thanks oddball for today (: anw me & oddball had a really nice chat when we ponned lit lect today. we both just ahemedd & totally moodless we had a talk at the grandstand. we came up wiv oddball song ! hahs (:

thanks once again kuku. for the icecream treat (yums !) & no thanks for treating me to fries & you bullied me to eat them. especially on the qns bout who you like, you so obviously faked it pfft. anw i did "steal" one of the photos =p you'll get it back someday. it might be disfigured, dont blame me =D do rmb to send me his photo yea? dammit cute right? (i betcha agree =p) & thanks so so ever so much (: im feeling better now dude. woohoo. (: & you owe me 13 testimonials ! =D. look on the bright side, yes i get your point. youre scary when you "screamed" at me through the sms. now you never reply me. pfffft. must be having fun with ------- right. i await my testimonials. kekes =D.


thanks for that useless msg hanyang, kekes. =D dont be so down alr okie? i still beat you anw (: =p dont worry too much, there'll be better ones soon.



anw, the thing that really topped my day (except from free icecream) was the fact that i not only PASSED chem i got SECOND HIGHEST in class =D 32/40, it's God-sent i tell you.i expected to fail. =D. dammit happy (:

& HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN FOK JUN-FENG. (: i rmb your birthday ! you better rmb mine yes yes? (: take cares dude ! study hard for o's.

throw me a lifeline
7:51 PM

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Thursday, April 27, 2006

it's your fault. all your bloodeh fault. if you were taller, if you could jump higher, if you were more alert, if you gave your 120%. why didn't you just do it instead of saying if? what's wrong with you? you lost to yourself thats what you did. whats wrong with you? it's too late alr. everyth happened alr. now youre happy with what you got isit? youre stupid, stupid two times over, stupid three times over. stupid stupid stupid. fcuking stupid. hais. just wake up your idea.

we lost to cjc. commentless.


somebody rip my heart out, & leave me here to bleed.



thanks kuku, for everyth.

throw me a lifeline
8:15 PM

___________________________

& if all the world was perfect
i would only ever wna see your scars
& if all the world was smiling
i would only ever wna see your frowns <


im up so early. there's noth i can do really. so here goes >

1. what song are you listening to right now? > so beautiful, darren hayes.
2. Color you are wearing now? > blue black blue
3. Now, who's on ur mind? > s10, this time on any normal thursday i'll be in the lecture room wiv them.
4. Now, what lyrics do you like so much? > i really like the lyrics from snow angel.
5. Where do you feel like going now? > to bed.
6. What movie do you want to watch? > the wild, it opens TODAY ! & davincicode.
7. Now, what do you want? > i want to sleep ): & i want loads of testimonials -looks at kuku.
8. Current mood right now? > moodless =D
9. When is your birthday? > 2306
10. Where did you buy ur bag/s? > my current bag is from suntec.
11. where did you buy ur pencil box? > some ripcurl shop. bought it quite long ago. hahas
12. How was your day today? > it just started.

PAST

1. Last time you fell in love? > 011205.
2. Last movie you watched? with whom? > ohmygosh. i cant even rmb what was e last movie i watched. i think it's date movie wiv nigel.
3. Last shirt you wore before the shirt you're wearing now? > my netball shirt.
4. Last thing you held? > my mouse. hahas. (it's nard's answer anw)
5. Last place you've been to > my home
6. Last dream > oooh i dreamt of the cj match lastly. quite weird huh.
7. Last call you received? > kuku ! that toopid call that took 30++ mins & im left wivout a joke to laugh at. pffft.
8. Last testi you got? > from kuku again =D it states that karolynn rocks (:
9. Last message you got in friendster? > hmmmmmms. from derek i think.
10. last sms you got? > samantha (:
11. last thing you did? > yepp, typing !
12. last present u got? > oddball gave me a jelly =D
13. last present you gave to someone? > hahas. i think it was for og3.



it's still so early, so here comes number 2 >

________BEST_______
1. Male friend: JOE TAN (: he wins hands down. kevin then gaelan (:
2. Female friend : heaps (: sam min ness sherri joy chris cheryl charmaine mesy olivia jiayee manu ber eve suanwoo etc (:
3. Vacation: that would be my chiangrai trip & my china trip (:
4 Memory: the ones that puts smiles onto my face.

_______WORST_______
1. Time of day: when im hungry & theres no food. when i wna sleep & theres no bed.
2. Day of the week: monday tuesday thursday friday. pick one. i end at 5pm.
3. Food: inedible foods. kekes.
4. Memory: the ones that makes me cry.

_______LAST_______
1. Person you saw: my maid.
2. Person u talked to on the phone: kuku.
3. Hugged: melissa. hahas, i went round hugging all the j1 netballers.
4. Text messaged: sam.
5: IM : kuku.

_______TODAY_______
1. What are you doing? im doing this survey then heading down to hwachong.
2. Tonight: sleep (:
3. Wearing: netball jersey. im too lazy to change.
4. What did you eat for lunch: havent eaten lunch.
5. Better than yesterday: errrrrm. nope. i dont get to see someone today ):

_______TOMORROW_______
1. Is: friday.
2. Got any plans: school.
3. Getting Lucky: hmmmmms. nope. luck never falls on me.
4. Dislikes : the timetable.
5. Do you have work: yepp, homework.

_______FAVORITES_______
1. Number: NINETEEN (: & 23
2. Song : whatever's in my mini.
3. Color: GREEN. (:
4. Seasons: how wud i know. i only experience one season here. kekes.
5. State: singapore (:




im still so bored. wheres entertainment when i need it. wheres the person who cracks me up ? idiot kuku. =p. brainless. hahas. i cant believe im still typing bout you. kukukukukuku-hua =p ehh kuku, today is HIS birthday lehh ! you shud do someth bout it ! so anw, happy birthday to you (:













thank You Lord, for cable

throw me a lifeline
9:07 AM

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

there is none like You
no one else can touch my heart like You do
i can live for all eternity long
& find, there is none like You <


someth really good happened today before phy lecture. -looks at kuku. =D it got me screaming at kuku bout it (: hees.anw sorry for wasting ur handphone bill =D how would i know that we'd end up talking so long huh. it was only supposed to be bout a joke, then u took so long to think of a joke ( i mean you have ZERO brain cells after all =D ) thats why it dragged.

match got postponed to tmr. so much for school being cancelled for jj. !@#$%^&* pffft.



anw to mr t.h.y (: smile okay. SMILE ! it's not the end of the world yea ? smile dude ! nvm. your journeys to school & back home will be fun trips, cos of me ! (: but really smile, youre worrying me. if you ever see this that is.



anw. FINALLY MET SAM (: such a long time. me lover & sam headed down to kingalbert'spark macs when e match was cancelled. we chatted (: it's great chatting wiv them. ANYWAY.
liang told us this
mindy ng min li that silly lover of mine, called him to ask "how do you spell exalt? wiv an "e" or an "x" (e beginning letter)" my gosh. i cracked up way bad. i laughed til i cried. it takes little for me to laugh, but alot for me to laugh til i cry. i was still laughing bout it on e cab back to my house that i swear e cab driver thot i was positively crazy. HAHAS. anw. i took her phone home without knowing. hahas.
oh yes. went down to cjc wiv lover from kallang to meet sam & i tootly left my wallet in siyun's shoe bag & sam left her handphone in school & lover left her handphone wiv me. hahas. we all forgot to take someth home. hahas. anw, i saw ABHI & ALSON ! momo's election poster is oh-so-rocks lahh ! hahas. i will vote for him if it was me (: so cool



anyone wna be a kind soul & write testimonials for me instead of showing me this face. -.-" ? =D















thank You Lord, for simple hi & bye

throw me a lifeline
9:39 PM

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Saturday, April 22, 2006

it's the hardest thing i'll ever have to do
to look you in the eye & tell you i dont love you
it's the hardest thing i'll ever have to lie
to show no emotion when you start to cry
can't let you see what you mean to me
when my hands are tied & my heart's not free
it's the hardest thing i'll ever have to do
to turn ard & walk away pretending i dont love you


let's not talk about my tests. ):

im beginning to like the presence of ODDBALL ard =D she's really nice & fun & spunky. hahas, i really like talking to her & hanging ard her =D. she told me someth ytd. if anyone wna know what, give me a million bucks, i'l still not tell u =p. hahas. me & oddball have been doing alot of things e same time recently.
>we turned ard & scolded & turned back at e same time
>our ez-links got confiscated on e same day for e same reason (hahas)
>we called each other at the same time once (hahas)
>we're both oddballs
>we both love green
>we're both from 4c (HAHAS (:)
hahas, maybe she's my twin, not xinyi. (hahas)


went back to collect o's slip on thurs ! =D met up wiv part of 4c, woohoo ! (: i miss each & every SINGLE person, too bad gaelan gu didnt ask e whole of 4c to go back on e same day, but nonetheless, it was refreshing to see a part of them (: charmaine jiayee joy cheryloo weeling loke jason gaelan nigel nathan marcus chihfai jeremy ! then some of us went for dinner then we headed down to THE SWING ! it's been such a long time. i still rmb how e 8ofus used to have lunch at dover then head down to the swing. i still rmb that day when some of us played the stupid retarded kiddy games down at the swing, that day stuck real hard in my mind, it's been a long time since i laughed so much, since i had that much fun. 4c is e best class EVER. even s10 cant compare. so anw, we played truth/dare. quite funny BUT THEN we played only for a short while then we all had to go home. after all it was a thursday & we had school e next day. i miss e times at dover, i miss e times during recess, i miss e locker times, i miss lab times, i miss playing bridge during maths & eng times, i miss sleeping during class times, i miss the crapping during lessons times, i miss the uniform, i miss 4c, i miss our times tgt. remember our meeting 10 years later (: wiv our candle holders & candles ! we'll bring a lighter, we'll form e heart once again & we'll light e candles up (:

to 4c,
tonight we remember
the times that we spent here
the joy & the laughter that we shared
tonight we cherish
the moments spent tgt
because it's e only time we have
look at us & see our smiles
this is where we all belong
i'll remember the times we shared tgt
until my last december
tonight.

it's where the stars line up
it's where the oceans touch
it's in a place youve never been
that feels like home
it's in the air right now
it's where you give your all
& give a lil more
i've never been so sure
that's where you find love.

4c rocks, always rmb that (:















thank You Lord, for wonderful classes every year of my life, from 6h to 4c to s10. thank You Lord, for the wonderful people that make up my classes (:

throw me a lifeline
12:43 AM

___________________________



Tuesday, April 18, 2006

forget about the reasons why you can't in life
& start to fly <

1st paragraph, for oddball no.1 (:
oddball ! anw, im really sorry for certain things, for "bending" e cover of ur lit notes & for saliva spitting onto your arm today, (though not on purpose) but im really glad that uve continued to be as kisiao as me lately & im really glad to know such a person as you (: thanks girlly !

2nd paragraph, for kuku-hua ! (:
my browser finally opened ! anw anw anw, i'll try to make this as heart wrenching as possible. ever since e first day of term 2, i was seriously wondering who wud be e chair & vice chair. cos i darnoe anyone really well in e class & i bet u din too ! weirdly, we tio-ed. e first time i asked u to mark attendance, waaah, can puke blood lahh ! hahas, totally experienceless. BUT NOW ! my gosh (: i was seriously touched when you zi dont mark attendance during civics & MARKED CORRECTLY SOMEMORE ! =D. hahas, i know thats mean. & e night that i was super pissed over trg & expectations of me & all, i rmb i was msging you tat night. my first haha was uttered. you changed my mood almost 180 & i really wna thank you for tat. (: really touched me e way you never screamed back at me for wasting ur sms-es. hahas, & & & i felt i was quite irritating buzzing ard you for your boxfile, but it was pleasantly surprising when you said you din really mind. but now ive got my own boxfile, you can keep yours to yourself. unless of cos you still wan me to help you hold. i'd gladly exchange. your file for my shoebag (: i'll still be your maid, i dont mind. btw, you owe me ALOT of money ! my pay lahhr ! i hope it's heartwrenching enough, cos i squeezed my brain juices for this ! (: & & & i'll only say this once, your eyes are okayy lahh, not too ugly but not as nice as mine ! =p evil lame lousy retarded KUKU-hua. & you'll always be a kuku to me =p.






school was okay (: i like school now when we're getting closer, bonds forming & all. i really wan this class back next yr (: i hope we'll get each other back (: =D


bro put a pic of me on e slide. almost everyone's been asking me if that was me. YES ITS ME LAHHR ! hahas (:


friendly wiv hci tmr. -crosses fingers.


OH YESS, I TOPPED MY CLASS FOR CHINESE ZUO WEN ((:















thank You Lord, for ppl whose laughter are infectious (:

throw me a lifeline
9:06 PM

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Sunday, April 16, 2006

if you want to i can save you
i can take you away from here
so lonely inside so busy out there
all you wanted was somebody who cared <

this morning.
i had the urge to cut my hair
so off i went to cut it.

NOW I LOOK HORRIGIBLE ): PFFFFFT.
raaawwwr !
i'll kill whoever laughs at me tmr.
pfffffftt !

& evil hanyang is bullying me right about now. ): this is dammit sad. i keep getting bullied these few days. maybe i'll die of exhaustion soon. the word is DIE.
study study study, i'll be crazy soon.

tests are coming ! acoming soon.

this is my life for e coming week.
monday > school & then trg
tuesday > school & then s³. MY BROTHER'S COMING TO SCHOOL TO GIVE A TALK. (:
weds > school & then trg
thurs > school & then heading down to fairfield wiv GAELAN, finally. quality time wiv my labbie !
fri > school & then trg
sat & sun > homework & try to catch up wiv sleep. maybe go down to e library?

it's quite normal. after all, i end at 5 almost everyday. what can i do except school & home?


it's good to catch up wiv mr nigel lee guo-en. ages since we last talked. i just wish he'd stop "eeee"-ing at my photo. i mean im so cute.













thank You Lord, for hair growth

throw me a lifeline
10:10 PM

___________________________



Friday, April 14, 2006

ni shuo ni hao lei
yi wu fa zai ai shang shui <


i feel so dam weird.
i went out e whole day, in fact im still out.
went for lunch at bugis then headed down to cousin's house.
am still at cousin's house.

I DIDNT STUDY THE WHOLE DAY. thats why i feel weird. that means my weekend's gna be super packed. i planned to finish quite a bit of homeworks today ): especially e stupid websites stuff ): now it's gna be postponed. and i needta go popular tmr. ive been planning to go down to the library, but im wondering WHEN i can read my borrowed book. hmms. after all next week's e test week. luckily e netball match has been postponed, phew, otherwise there'e no time for me to study for my tests.

ive decided, i better switch to a boxfile soon, the slip in file is just too neat for karolyn. hee. so much for me complaining about someone being disorganised. i tried my best this year ! =D plus plus, e toopid file is SO THICK lahhr ! it's so dam weird lahhr, so i want a boxfile, yepp ive decided. im gna change to e same file as oddball.

i quite like the word oddball.
just like i like e word retarded?
but my favourite word is still serendipity. it has a certain ring to it.
i wanted to name one of my kid seren & eother dipity.
man, karolyn is a weird girl.
but at least im not as kukuish as idiot chinhua =p
kuku ! gosh, this post is getting nowhere. hahas.
ohwells.


anw, great grandma's getting discharged tmr (: it's a sign that she's getting better.
i hope she lives til she overceeds 100 (: yea ! will buy for her a wonderful present ! & i will learn cantonese so i can converse wiv her (: yes yes yes. my great plan. what a joke !


OH DID I MENTION IVE GOT A LOVELY NEW BAG. i would have posted a pic of it if i was home. so e pic comes on another day then (:


this post is so unlike e past one. shucks, moodswings are depressing, definitely.
at least im glad there was that one person i could talk to, poured everyth out to him, my anguish, & he really made me laugh (: thanks dude ! you know who you are (:



IM LEAVING FOR HOME SOON ! CAN STUDY ! (:
i have e sudden urge to cut my hair (: woohoo ! maybe i shud. hmms. got 2 days more to think thru. maybe i shud cut tmr when i go to popular.















thank You Lord, for people who makes me smile without fail (:

throw me a lifeline
9:46 PM

___________________________



Thursday, April 13, 2006

its on these days <

it's great to be touching the keyboard once again. been reaching home at ungodly hours the last few days, chionging homework then hitting the beds. boy am i drained.


trainings are a killer. you know you havent been training since june & youre like really super duper wuper rusty. who can you blame but yourself? you could have chosen a less challenging cca, tried out a new one, but nooo, this retarded you have to go back to a game which you knew you would strike out everytime you hit the courts. & you still claim you are smart, way to go miss gan, way to go. do you really wna go back to the way you were, when tears were all that made up your life, wonderful choice girl, really wuper wonderful.

aiming for straight 'A's? do you really think you can do it huh? you dont understand a single shit, & yet you still dont make the effort to clarify your doubts right? give yourself a slap & wake up. you know what it takes, what are you? lazy? dont give a stupid excuse lahh.



if life is supposed to be a wonderful experience, why does it feel like hell to me. it's freaking hard to go around merrily & all, while my head is just drowning with all these. it's times like these when i miss kevin, he was the one who without fail will make my day, will pick me up even when im at rock bottom, will be there shooting the most wonderful advice to me, the one who i pore my heart out to.dearest bester, i miss you so ):


sometimes i wish i never set myself a target, so that when i see at least a bit of results, i'll be happy. sometimes i wish nobody expected me to get wonderful grades, so when i screw up, i wont feel that bad compared to when everyone's disapointed in me. sometimes i wish nobody would expect me to be someone better than i am, im not perfect, just accept that.




this post is fcuking stupid. RAAAWR.
and i am fcuking stupid.













thank You Lord, for solutions

throw me a lifeline
8:38 PM

___________________________



Thursday, April 06, 2006

look to e past & remember a smile
maybe tonight i can sleep for awhile <

im so confused about things.
and i especially hate the stuff to do wiv l-o-v-e. ):
no, im not a heartbreaker, im just broken hearted.
and i just wish my head was clearer & my heart was free-er & my courage to love was not crushed by heartbreakers.

i guess i love school now. ending at 5pm keeps my head free from troubles.
unearthly thing.

some people say im cheerful & high & all. it was then that i realised, no one in jj has seen e real me before. have i changed that much?
this is so shitty. i'll go do homework.




friendly wiv MI tmr. -crosses fingers.













thank You Lord, for opening doors (:

throw me a lifeline
5:11 PM

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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

t-e-e-n t-i-t-a-n-s
teen titans, let's go ! <


hahas (: -looks at kuinoi.
my fellow "HEY CHI FAN LE MA?" partner (:
& you make me smile like anyth ! hahas, always so fun to disturb, it perks me up as well (: AANDD, i know im loud, thank you ! (: & yes yes, i love you too ! T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S ! hahas (:


in case i never got to mention, s10 rocks ! (: from number 1 to number 25. (: i really never thot that any class could be better than my dearest s19, buut s10 proved me wrong. they're as fun & funny as s19, just that im e one self entertaining & e noisy one =D. hahas, but i seriously think s10 rocks. EXCEPT when they push me & ------- tgt, my gosh, it's one BIIG group against e two of us who keep shaking our heads and saying no no no no no ! as in e whole of s10 is tgt on this thing? hahas, wrong way to show that youre are united lahh !


okaayy, im setting up links soon, as i promised kuinoi. (: so expect links soon. so people wiv blogs, faster tag my tagboard !



anw, og3 rocks as well (: and of cos my dearest og16, forever ! I WANT OUTINGS ! christopher !













Thank You Lord, for such a wonderful class (:

throw me a lifeline
8:27 PM

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Saturday, April 01, 2006

all you wanted was somebody who cared <


actually i dont really know what to blog about. what do you guys wna read about?
my life isn't really that fascinating, i dont know why im even blogging bout it.
my thoughts aren't really deep, i dont know why im even blogging bout it.

i received a sunflower from hanyang ! (: & it's under no forced circumstances that he gave it to me. =D. and i lent him my chem tutorial & i din get it back. that bugger never reply my sms & now i cant reattempt my tutorial, EVEN THOUGH he lives opposite me ! ):

and im really fascinated wiv chinhua's file, i really think im really weird. his file is an ordinary box file. so now, you can say it, "karolyn gan is a weirdy". hahas.

i like conv wiv jack. so many dots ............... gosh, im weird.

i really wna join council. i dont know why. but the handing up of forms date is over, so too bad. i'll just stick to being class rep and an aspiring j2 councillor.



oh yes yes, i love 6h lots lots lots (: it still amazes me that we're still in contact after all these years. i rmb that time 3 of us had a crush on ______ =D, then me and ________ had someth going on. me jen vicky sharon laura, e 5 sisters ! (: everyth. 6h seriously rocks my socks. (: a friendster account was created for 6h today, i logged into friendster by accident, and bang new friend request and bang 6h forever ! (:



this post is so dam crap. i have so much time to waste, and im so sick of homework.
btw, i finally completed minesweepers (:













thank You Lord, for diaries

throw me a lifeline
7:30 PM

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