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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

youre asking for a second chance
but its someth that i cant offer <

can you imagine losing someone thats close to you, someone who dotes on you who loves you the moment you breathed your first breath? i cried when i found out my great grandma's in the hospital wiv a stroke and she's paralysed on her right side. 106 years old, she's lived a long life, and a good one i hope.

i never could converse wiv her, it was always orh, okay on my side while she talks and i just simply couldnt understand a word. shit, i really should have learnt cantonese ): my grandma said that when i was younger, each time my great grandma patted me on the head, i would run away. i remembered when i was in primary school, each time we visit my great grandma and my grandma, we'll leave them wiv a kiss and a hug, and "i love you" i wondered why i stopped doing it.

i went to visit her this evening wiv my family, apparently she fell at night and her brain got damaged or someth like that. tears welled up in my eyes but i didnt cry, i wonder why? and then i got chased out of the room cos i was coughing. she pushed my hand away as i reached for it. i was dam sad ):

when i received the call from my dad, the world just went blank, all i rmb was paul was shh-ing the rest when i exclaimed the word "hospitalised". and i rmb staring into space and one tear dropped followed by the next and then a third. tissues appeared. haha, my og turned those tears into smiles. it was dam fun being wiv them, thats why i love my og (:




i dont know whats wrong wiv me. i was suddenly thinking and i realised im quite a fake (?) and i just dont know what im feeling anymore, its like as if im void of feelings, i dont even feel the adrenalin rush i did each time i see my ahbeng, its more of like i got used to it. and no, i dont miss you. i mean im actually not really nervous bout getting back my o's results, i mean what's the big deal? its just a freaking piece of paper. and i dont know lahh. i think im sick of this world. and i just really wna scream the f-word out from the top of a hill at the top of my lungs. screw this shit.







JUST SHOOT ME, SOMEONE.












thank You Lord, for dancing


throw me a lifeline
9:20 PM

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