Friday, February 10, 2006

burnt my heart and burnt my lips
cross my heart and drown in this kiss <


i wrote that two lines up there. it just somehow boing-ed into my mind when i was eating dinner. my mind's freaky, really.


i think my olevel results suck big time. i mean, its not bad enough to make my parents want me to stay in jjc and its not good enough to convince me that i should go to another jc. why cant i just get higher than what i got now? this sucks. why does everyone tell me different things? i guess its time i make the decision on my own ): dammit lahh. who thinks i should stay in jjc? who thinks i shouldnt stay in jjc?


anw, i got lost in SINGAPORE wiv manu today. we took 51 thinking we'll end up in queensway, but wow, we went all the way to eunos? freak lahh. wasted the time, i really wanted to get my studs. and i was starving the whole journey. so my ezlink's broke, but at least i got my ic today (: and the first thing manu had to say was, "your eyes are dam small" yes thank you very much girl.


tears of joy or tears of anguish? everyone's been saying i did a good job, even my mom msged me "great", and my dad was happy wiv it. shit, i think i really did a bad job, i was really expecting a single digit for my r5 lahh. freak it. maybe im really weird, i dont expect so high of others yet i want it for myself, and i never do accomplish anyth.

today was quite weird for me, neck snapped in all directions looking for a familiar face, nope, was late. but whatever, i saw them tgt, i felt noth, noth, noth. i wonder if thats a good thing or a bad thing, whatever. it could have been me, but do i want it to be?

your results arent horrible to me, youve made an enormous improvement i think. i mean look at your past results and then compare to your results now. i think youve improved, and i really think you can make it. if what i think matters, you just read it, and im just proud that you passed everyth.

this post is like really crap, and i dont know what im supposed to feel now, happy? what do i really want? what does He really want of me? more of Him, less of me.

5am tmr morning, i have to wake up that early ): 6am at choa chu kang, i have to be there that early ): 7-12, i have to stand that long ): -sigh, at least i'll have time to think and reflect back, and figure out what He wants of me in life. (: besides, i have til weds 4pm to sort my thinking out.













thank You Lord, for independence

throw me a lifeline
8:56 PM

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