Wednesday, August 31, 2005

tell me
did you fall from a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there <

cream smearing, cake smashing, tau pok
haha, these are the trademark of 4c, the rockingest class ((:

fun times, good times, bad times, no matter what, they've made an impact on me.

today, went bowling with oo zl danielng junjie eugene.
zl said someth that made me quite upset.
went away from the group and i started praying, immediately.
i bowed my head and prayed a real prayer, someth i havent done for a super long time.
prayed for forgiveness and that i wouldnt be affected that way.
went back to them and had fun ((:

ah well.
prelim's soon.






drops of jupiter in her head ;

throw me a lifeline
7:20 PM

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Friday, August 26, 2005

if you get there before i do
dont give up on me
i'll meet you when my chores are through
but i dont know how long i'll be
but im not gna let you down
darling wait and see
and between now and then
til i see you again
i'll be loving you
love, me <

beautiful song? definitely.

so our study break's coming soon.
it's a bit more time til i wave goodbye to my classmates.
i'll miss ALL of them ;
who wouldnt?
two years with them, all the crapping and laughing and crying together.
i dont wna go down the list saying what i'll miss about who.
but i want all the 4c people to know, they've touched me and motivated me and inspired me.

yea seriously? i'll miss 4c, from my closest friends to the people i dont even wna sit with.
from the people i talk about to the people i talk with.
from the people i laugh about to the people i laugh with.
the inside jokes
the everything.
4c rocks, and definitely no class can be better than them.
im expecting lots of protests, but you'll never know til you try.
and you didnt have a chance to try, how do you know? ((:
i love you guys ((:

throw me a lifeline
11:12 PM

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im a million contradicitons
sometimes i make no sense <

im wrong?
or im right?

turn left?
or turn right?

go straight?
turn back?

hands up?
hands down?


I DONT WANT TO MAKE CHOICES.

if there's one thing i want.
that's TIGGERS ((:






thank God for you

throw me a lifeline
2:44 PM

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

here i am again talking to myself
sitting at a red light <

i woke up at 12pm today, just to eat lunch.
and its a lousy deal, cos the workers are building i dont care what making hell load of noise.
so now i cant sleep.

im off to take a bath and hopefully the drowsiness can just kick ass die and i can study.

throw me a lifeline
2:05 PM

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

i called you today
just to hear you say
you're not around <

there's someth wrong with me, so i came home from school.
told mrs ang i went cuckoo from studying too much, she didnt believe.
i seriously think it's over-exhaustion.
kinda feels like my sickness in chiangrai, just there's no vomitting.

doctor gave me mc for today and tmr, hah.
i mean he asked if i wanted a mc LAHH ((:
so i might be resting tmr wheee.

im off to take a nap my body's calling for.

throw me a lifeline
1:31 PM

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

why are we keeping a secret
why are we hiding ourselves away <

chapel today > led by 4c ((: was backup.
i think we did a notbad job, teachers were saying we did a fantastic one, and mr lum said he enjoyed it ((:

house gate refused to open today to let me back home.
was freaking hungry and still that idiot dont let me have dinner outside.
my mom gave me a curry puff to munch on.
and eventually, i climbed in through the window.
i msged joe, and he din reply )))))))))))))))):

saw karo the guit ((:
it's, okay i'll give it a gender, SHE'S so pretty ((:
joe's been taking much great care of it.

gaelan's forgiven, but it's still weird.

so imagine walking back in the DARK with rows of the thing you fear the most lining your sides.
I was freaked out like hell alryyt.













losing the day, as if it doesnt really matter ;

throw me a lifeline
9:11 PM

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Saturday, August 20, 2005

how does it feel to be
different from me <

ever since that day i skipped school.
ever since that day mr chia spoke to me and i cried.
ever since that day mrs ang said she was disappointed and i realised how many others i have disappointed.
ever since that day mr chia said he regretted making ---- the chairman, and me a vice chair.

i knew i dont ever want to disappoint anyone else.

everyone asked me WHY i did it. when i seriously started to think of an answer, i couldnt think of one. mr chia kept probing why why why. i seriously didnt know. why did i do it. the biggest regret of my life.

felix got into worse trouble than the three of us put together on that day. one more contract, one more yellow form, a few more demerit points, one more talking-to, a whole lot more of mother's tears, and finally expulsion. that was one thing i regretted, calling felix along.
high hopes, everyone had high hopes on me, mrs ang did when i was made vice chair, my parents did when i brought back my a1s and my position of vice chair. but those hopes were dashed the moment i got my first yellow form. the first booking of my LIFE.

the first time changes everyth.
the first time i got my yellow form, the second form was not much.
the first time i failed a test, passing didnt seem to matter anymore.
the first time i played ------, studying wasnt important already.
and as mrs ang said, if i wasnt caught skipping school, there would be a second time. when she said it, i knew it was the truth, no matter how many ppl i promised it would be my first and only time.

i promised myself that i would change.
did i?

throw me a lifeline
2:28 PM

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

SO SAY GOODBYE TO OUR FRIENDSHIP.
WAVE THE LAB TIMES AWAY.

ITS THE END, BETWEEN GAYLAN GU AND ME. AND I DONT CARE, WHATEVER HE HAS DONE CANNOT BE ERASED.

IM WAY BEYOND PISSED, A MILLION SLAPS WONT DO ANY THING.

AND GAYLAN IS MORE GAY THEN ZHENGLIANG.




wth, please lahh, you tease my fatness its still okay.
but when you start writing about GUYS to do with me. and i can name them all. cant you at least KNOW a limit. i wrote "gentlemanly enough to say sorry" for you, AND I TAKE IT BACK. PLEASE, when i told zhengliang he sucks, you suck more. cant you see what the hell youve done wrong. and whats done cannot be undone. how many people would have seen it? i hate it you know. its like youre implying im a slut or someth. changing guys every month? wth. im not even close to plain pissed, its more of wanting to slap your moles off your face pissed. and i dont care what i say. im not even going to be polite to you, i'll treat you even worse than my worse enemies alryyt. YOU HURT ME.

throw me a lifeline
10:28 PM

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

if youre happy and you know it clap your hands <

IVE JUST GOT ONE THING TO SAY TODAY.

ZHENGLIANG IS GAY ((:
bloodehh bloodehh gay.

school is getting boring.

AND MIKHTAM HAS A PRETTY BAG ((: exchanged bags with him. he looks quite gay with mine =\\ cos he's like soooo tall, and my bag's teeny.








where were you when i needed you ;

throw me a lifeline
9:15 PM

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Friday, August 12, 2005

my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same <

from the moment i realised i wrote the wrong compo.
to the moment i found out i got 8/10 for listening.

ahh, well. i got 2 for chinese.
distinction, yes.
when i said i wna retake, everyone called me crazy (except kelly lim) BUT including my PARENTS )):
my father spoke for 5 mins about not retaking, so wth, i cant retake.

oh i wna condemn someone real badly now.
MR JANSEN NIGEL JAMES BURSTED MY PRETTY PURPLE BALLOON FROM THE ARMY ON MONDAY THE EIGHTH OF AUGUST. ))))))):
I WANT TWO FLOWER BALLOONS FOR PAYMENT. okay?
it was so pretty alryyt.
then you poked MY poster into the balloon and IT BURSTED !
okay, theres no such word as bursted ayye. but I DONT CARE
I WANT BALLOOOOOOOON )):
and MR JANSEN NIGEL JAMES SQUEEZED MY DARLING OSCAR INTO THIS TEEENY WEEENY BALL THING.
its so heartwrenching alryyt. oscar was screaming for breath. AND YOU CLAIM TO BE ITS OWNER !!! )):

okay, a beautiful condemning paragraph ((:





lovely UPII. ((:





i'm a million contradictions ;

throw me a lifeline
9:57 PM

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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

we'll change our destiny <

in a broken marriage, the people that hurt the most are the children.

four tears dropped today. an improvement compared to last time.
sometimes i wonder why she doesnt ask for a -------.

i wanted to call someone. then i realised i had no one to call.
bester, thats totally nuts.
hi5+3, i wont know who to call.
joe, nah, enough problems.
besties, i will start crying.
so i just kept to myself.
i just dammit couldnt find where i chucked my pen----- to.


mr lum, i thank thee. he's cracking me up now.

throw me a lifeline
9:09 PM

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Friday, August 05, 2005

i'd rather be a fool with a broken heart
than someone who never had a part of you <

long bus ride home last night from choo's house.
did alot of thinking while blasting music in my own little "corner"
and i guess i did sort out alot of thoughts.

why say maybe?
why say what if?
just go ahead and do it, you might regret it, like i am now.



im so tired, i cant even listen properly during class anymore, weird that im still blogging.
seriously ive never been this stressed at all, i mean PSLE was a breeze to me, i didn't even really studied for it, and i got straight A's? errrm =\\\.



the many things i remember.
the many memories you've give me.
you were and still are perfect.


STUDY ! )):





courage is not about having no fears, but acting in spite of them.

throw me a lifeline
6:09 PM

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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

i gta getaway
to a place where i can be redefined
where youre out of sight
and youre out of mind
but the truth is i cant even say goodbye <

sometimes, we should stop lying to ourselves and know the real us.
i feel weird boxing everyth up, in the end to find out its all totally different.
its funny how just one qns will evoke up all the feelings i thot i buried so deep alr.

a stupid mistake. )): and so, zl you win. i cant change, and i cant lead a better life.

call me a screwed up psycho lunatic. cos i just dont give a dam.






DP,RJPE OYD DYO;; UPII (:

throw me a lifeline
6:13 PM

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Monday, August 01, 2005

why are we keeping a secret
why are we hiding away <

i like hilary duff's songs

and i hate amath tests
they are my depressent )):

throw me a lifeline
9:51 PM

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