Thursday, July 07, 2005

wake up call <

okay, so now i dont feel like blogging anymore, so why am i writing this?
i dont like my skin no more, im too lazy to edit one to my liking.
SHEESH.

you know sometimes i blog cos its faster than writing in my diary, but then all sorts of people can read my feelings and everything. i feel like putting a password, then it would be very hard lahh. maybe a secret blog. but then anyone can find it lahh. dang, i feel weird weird weird. i take 10 minutes to blog smth down, but i take half an hour to write it in my diary. i guess its cos i write my whole day's work down, everything that's interesting or caught my attention. hahas, i think i write about everything. after all, its my diary. but im scared that when time passes, i would forget who the people i write about are. i dont know lehh. like all the guys that ive written about in the diary that catches my eye, all the people i dislike and the one i hate like hell. okay so im weird, i feel weird. damn. such a stupid post, why am i posting it?

i feel like passwording this blog now. maybe i shouldnt up date that often, i mean like prelims are soon, o's are coming after prelims and i havent started totally on anything yet. i mean like on the bus home he flipped to a light qns, i was totally blur about it. and what im aiming for top in level for physics, RIGHT. gosh. im so gna screw my life up if i dont start revising or studying or whatever.

i really wna password this blog, so like in school i can be happy altho im really truly sad. i dont want anyone to worry for me, i hate people worrying for me. its just a waste of your emotions only, i aint no big deal. i mean maybe 10 years down the road we would walk past each other and not know we were good friends once. or even lovers. whats the use lahh? i keep fretting that me and bester wont know each other in 10 years. im weird, really. maybe im getting stupid or smth. maybe. i just really want a break from this life. i want a new one, i would love to try a new one.

my dreamland gives me assurance, but when i wake up, its gone. why cant we sleep like 90% of our time? i wna be a koala bear they sleep all the time, and they're adorable. unlike me.

so like anyone's gna read that crap. i'll just blog to blog to ease my feelings, and this way i wont cut myself, or damage my eardrums.

my gosh, i wanted to type 2 sentences, i ended up with this. its crap, pure crap. gosh, now i feel like crying.

I REALLY WNA PASSWORD MY BLOG. but i dont think i should. maybe i should just stop blogging. EUGH, WHATS THE POINT.

i need a new life, i need a life buoy, i used to have one.
why's everything gone now? the time when i needed one so much.

maybe i should just go get a penknife...













your hands in mine, a vision of the past ;

throw me a lifeline
10:11 PM

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