Thursday, June 30, 2005

everybody wants to know her name <

realised we din get into 4x100. i just cried. i was extremely in shock, i totally couldnt grasp that fact. we trained hard, we made up tactics, we constantly reminded each other about what not to do and what to do, we ran our best, we got our muscle cramps, we kept our pace. i guess best is not enough, i just really wanted to scream.
this just sucks.

class tee finally came, but ALAS, one tee was missing, like errm.

>ME CHERYLOO JIAYEE OLIVIA CHRISTINA MESY ZHENGLIANG LOKE DANIELNG. ((:
these few people made my day, from the dumps to heaven ((:
i had SO MUCH FUN at dover. we were childish, yes, but we were having fun. this fun cannot be achieved anywhere else.
we played wonderfully lame games > catching, whats the time now mr wolf, the scissors paper stone game. we laughed and screamed and just had plain fun. ((: it topped my day and brought me home feeling happy like nobody's business and i totally forgot about the crying part. hahas.













things werent meant to be this way, you just chose it ;

throw me a lifeline
9:57 PM

___________________________



Wednesday, June 29, 2005

right between here and now <

today was really quite alryyt.

had a chat with zhengliang during chinese class. yes, i cried, almost. the whole point is, you dont know whats going on yes, so you cant say that idiotic moron "loves" me. and you can never understand my hatred for him.

4x100 heats, my class came in third ((:
intolerable muscle cramp.
each step taken is antagonizingly painful.
im acing english, uh huh.

my class guys dropped the baton, but JASON LUA WEN YONG, still got first CAN. i totally went hoarse screaming for them ((: it was worth it. they're not out.

8x100, we came in last, i din run lahh. zhengliang cheat people one. he say he will pose if he's last lahh, but in the end never. say what looking for camera. hahas, he's one lame shit lahh.

wasnt in 400 metres finals, thank God. i actually planned to run 100 then die. like seriously, i cant walk properly lahh. )): stupid muscle cramp. im really praying hard that we'll get into the finals.

xiufeng almost beat me by MILLISECONDS. it was scary, serious. and i think i slowed the class down quite abit. i just couldnt run in top form with all the muscle cramps and everything. i was totally running wrongly, i grabbed the baton wrongly, and i TURNED to look right. stupid mistakes. i just pray we'll get to run at our top form on saturday, wearing our errrrrm, forget it.

gaelan is a gay tart living in the gay land with all the gaytardeds ((: wahahas.

loke's banana broke, so sad. )): it was so cute lahh, NO, i dont alryyt.

im done with history homework.
theres some stupid amath test tmr, im too tired to go study. i'll just fail lahh, cant be bothered alr.

freak it -------- freaking pissed me off today. i almost punched that person ALRYYT. that's how much i got pissed off. i just wanted to lend my fist on some freaking thing, like that person's FACE. some kind of stupid smug attitude, just go screw yourself lahh. freaking asshole. luckily tonny kinda made me shrug it off.





i will tell you all, its wrong. there's seriously no feelings this time. ((:
just get over it.













would it be the same ;

throw me a lifeline
10:29 PM

___________________________



Tuesday, June 28, 2005

hide me now
under Your wings <

lessons were crap lahh, totally.
like english and chinese, what can you expect?

heats, poor lover, had aches.
200metres, second, from the bottom again.
at least at least at least ((:
got in 400metres finals CAN.
like shit, i so totally dont want it.
luckily my 4x100 is before the finals.

i cant do finish humans by today lahh, no way lahh.
i just hope mrs chng is in a good mood tmr, after all, im her first class.
and i pray alot of people never do, its evil =D but it'll save me.

CLASS TEESHIRT IS AN OFFICIAL VULGARITY.
scream that two words at me, i'll chop you to pieces, I SWEAR.
)):
hell, no. it sucks lahh, its super stressing ALRYYT.
and some freaking assholes just CANT PAY ON TIME.
bloodeh hell.
-squeezes their necks.

bester is like injured, take cares ! ((:
my PRESENT, you promised, when youre not broke.

right, 26 mosquitoes bite on my legs, and counting.
imagine having to sit thru lessons, trying not to scratch them.
its hell itchy lahh, i mean like 26.
my leg's almost totally red lahh, sucks.

my darling clara ho rocks my socks like mad ((:
she's just heartmelting.
gave her the bearhug i owed her ((:
she took out this postcard.
GOSH, IT TOTALLY TOPPED MY DAY.
and made me smile like some idiot ((:
she's totally heartmelting.
and i love her like this much lahh. ((:


erhaps more next time.
you make me happy ((:













you are my sunshine ;

throw me a lifeline
9:46 PM

___________________________



Monday, June 27, 2005

hello there
the angel from my nightmare <

maybe im supposed to know smth.
maybe im supposed to remember.

today, horrigible.
sports day heats, terrigible.
)): everything sucked.
class teeshirt crap, everything's crap.
i cant do math anymore, like that's my future ?!

the only two good things that happened today, fine three
>presents, got my third tigger toy this year.
>LETTERS FROM CHINA ((: > WUCHAO, LUHONG, LIZHANG ((: definitely pulled my day up.
>youu ((:


im crumbled inside, reach and feel the biscuit crumbs of my heart.

I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT.
i really wna screeaaaaam. )):
it's pure shit, total crap, what the hellish )):
HAIS.

at least, i found smth out, IM SINGLE ((: and untaken and dont wna be taken, nope.













im broken inside, and only you know how to fix these jigsaw puzzles ;

throw me a lifeline
10:40 PM

___________________________



Sunday, June 26, 2005

throw me a lifeline
2:48 PM

___________________________



Saturday, June 25, 2005

im everything i am
because you loved me <

lit my sparkling candle just now.
i just sat and stared at it while it burnt all the way til no candle remained.
thoughts ran through my head, and i always wonder why.

why do i keep remembering.
why do i keep lying to myself.
why do the flashbacks suddenly attack me like now.
why do i want to try to forget.

so many questions, no answers.

was super late for tuition, i woke up like 15 minutes after my tuition started alr lahh. rushed down without gulping down anything.













your beautiful face, it lit up when i walked through the door ;

throw me a lifeline
7:33 PM

___________________________

i just realised what's wrong. ))))):
> YOUU didnt wish me happy birthday.
i felt something was missing, missing )):
i just realised what it was, gosh !

throw me a lifeline
12:03 AM

___________________________



Friday, June 24, 2005

how could this happen to me <

all smiles today. thanks to manu ((:

neos, mrandmrssmith, lunch, chats, walk ((:

im gone.













i just wna scream ;

throw me a lifeline
10:05 PM

___________________________

LAST PERSON WHO

1. Slept in your bed
= erm, my softtoys are still.
2. Saw you cry
= chiang rai people ((:
3. Made you cry
= no one, i stare blank, i'll start crying.
4. You shared a drink with
= mr jansen. that idiot, told him to buy water, he dont want, then he drank mine.
5. Went to the movies with u
= mr jansen.
6. Went to a mall with
= mr jansen.
7. Yelled at you
= luckee. she hollered at me. fine, barked her head off at me, when i came home last night. she misses me. hee.
8. Sent you an email
= friendster. thats not a person, fine, manu.

HAVE YOU EVER:

9. Said "I love you" and meant it
= definitely. the whole point of saying i love you is to the person you love, like duuh.
10. Gotten in a fight with your pet
= HAHA, yes ((: we had a barking fight.
11. Drank Alcohol
= yupp.
12. Been to Hawaii
= want to.
13. Been to Mexico
= hahs. ever heard of "so so so, suck your toe, all the way to mexico" so i have, but literally, no.
14. Danced naked
= in the showers?
15. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day
= ur definition of crazy and mine is different.
16. Wished you were the opposite sex
= yupp.
17. Had an imaginary friend
= still do.
18. Gotten beaten up
= by my brother, last night.

DO YOU:

19. Smoke
= nope.
20. Curse
= trying to stop.
21. Sing well
= nope, im tone deaf ((:
22. Sing in the shower
= nope. hahs. i bathe there.
23. Talk to yourself
= we all talk to ourself, in our heads, like duuh. otherwise how do we think if we dont talk to ourself.
24. Play an instrument
= the recorder? and piano.
25. Think you're a health freak
= nope, no way.
26. Get along with your parents
= at times.
27. Get along with your siblings
= hah, at times.

OTHER:

28. Worst feeling in the world
= i guess jealousy. jealousy kills. and it breaks up friendships and everything.
29. Future number of kids and their names
= TWO > faith and chat. i think =D
30. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
= nope. i sleep with STUFFED ANIMALS
31. What's under your bed?
= the floor.
32. Favorite sport to watch
= netball, iceskating, diving, swimming.
33. Siblings
= brothers. im in the middle.
34. Location
= singapore.
35. College Plans
= sajc, SAME AS DARLING ((:
36. Piercing/Tattoos
= want both. have piercing.
37. CD Player
= its out, ipod mini's in.
38. DVD player or VCR
= dvd. ((:
39. Pocket
= i like pockets.
40. Laundry basket
= dont have one.
41. Mouth
= i use it to speak. hahas.

EXTRA STUFF:

42. Have you done drugs?
= yupp, medicine.
43. Who was your first best friend?
= yiwen, in kindergarden.
45. What clothes do you sleep in?
= clothes.
46. Where do you want to be married?
= where doesnt matter, its who.
47. Who do you really hate?
= idiotic moron.
48. Do you drive?
= you wish.
49. Do you have a job?
= yupp. shutting my brothers mouth up.
50. Do you like being around people?
= depends on who.

STUFF:

51. Do you have a kind of person you always go after?
= nope. okay fine, people taller than me
52. Want something you don't have right now?
= longer hair.
53. Are you lonely right now?
= nope, the teevee's on, my brothers trying to multitask by playing ps2 and watching teevee.
54. Song that's stuck in your head a lot
= untitled ; simple plan.
55. Do you want to be married?
= yupp.
56. Do you want kids?
= definitely.

FAVOURITE:

57. Band
= hillsong, simple plan, a1.
58. Color
= the rainbow.
59. Perfume or colonge
= none, dont like them.
60. Month
= june. date 23rd.

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU:

61. Cried
= yupp.watched alot like love and cried.
62. Bought something
= yupp. bought water, bought foolscap paper, bought food, bought pen.
63. Gotten Sick
= nose blocked counted? the theatre was freezing.
64. Sang
= yes. i was entertaining myself for THIRTY ONE minutes waiting for mr jansen.
65. Told someone you loved them!
= hahas, yes.
66. Missed someone
= yes.
67. Hugged someone
= nope.
68. Kissed someone
= my momma.






off to do the jigsaw my brother bought me. hahs ((:













someday we'll know ((:

throw me a lifeline
10:29 AM

___________________________



Thursday, June 23, 2005

with all i am
i worship You <

today rocks.
enjoyed tuition, i kinda like chem alot somehow.

lunch > billy bombers.
din finish it at all lahh. gosh, i thot i could finish it, and then i heard myself offering food to my brother. my elder brother kept stepping on my feet. the curse of the size 13 feet brother. grrr.

out > mr jansen.
HE WAS THIRTY ONE MINUTES LATE. one minute later than yuenteck was. grrrr. rushed down to westmall. got a shock when the board showed the movie timing for alot like love was 7.10. mr jansen went to bought the tics, hahs, luckily there was a 5.00 show. the row of ours was totally empty, then this couple in front of us kept moving, so i cant see, so we kept moving too. hahas. how i like the show? > alot like love ((: eeha, it was funny and touching. i turned, then i noticed mr jansen has really nice eyes? errrm. outofpoint, hahs.

dinner > swensens.
free dinner ((: ate chicken bake rice. ate 1/4 cookie summit, mr jansen couldnt finish the icecream as well. hahas.






updates ;
manu's back, like finally. out with that girlof mine tmr. supposed to be my momma, then she couldnt make it, so out wiv manu ((:
yuenteck's flying off tmr. hahs. not fair !

thanks everyone.
>the messages
>the testimonials
>online
>the tags

you guys rock my world. ((: cya when school reopens.





im happy today, seriously. ((: mr jansen gave me a lighter and a candle. to light up and make a wish. ((: hmmmm. hahs.
there's nothing going on between me and nigel lahh, im in love with his oscar.













what a difference a day makes ;

throw me a lifeline
10:05 PM

___________________________

this is the day
that the Lord has made <

my big day ((: > birthday.

thanks to all those people who msged me as close as possible to 12.
thanks to all those who wished me online.
thanks to all those who wrote me a birthday testimonial.
thanks to all those people who gave me a present.
love ! ((:

im not born yet now. im only born on 1412 ((: 2:12 pm.

right, im off to write a rocking testimonial for martin. he'll definitely agree wiv me ((:





and now, i would like to thank all the people who have been there for me ((: according to alphabetical order ((:

>zhengliang ; someone special to me, you'll never know ((: love !
>yuenteck ; the person who has there for me that one day ((:
>youu ; smiles aplenty when i look at you, and think of the past. shoulder's out when my eyes get wet. ((:
>sirong ; the person who speaks little, makes alot of sense, thanks ((:
>shilei ; i look forward to a time where we will go out, pangseh-er, LOVE ! ((:
>samantha ; youre a raft on choppy waters, love! ((:
>olivia ; the greatest deputy ever, and someone we all respect for her art, love ! ((:
>nigely ; thanks for being a great brother, never regretted, LOVE ! ((:
>ness ; youre a first class bestie to me too ((: love you LOADS
>mr jansen ; the oscar person, im with oscar when im sad. thanks ((:
>mindy ; you can have a place beside ness, love ! ((:
>mesy ; the best person who can give you insight and make you laugh til you cry, cutie, love ! ((:
>manu ; the best person i would go out wiv, love ! ((:
>joy ; the one who listens to everything and laughs with you not at you, LOVE ((:
>joe ; the one who listens and gives advices, all the best with her, love ((:
>jiayi ; perhaps you'll never know, youre someone really special, love ! ((:
>jiayee ; the busrides home and the chats, love ! ((:
>eyecandy ; ((: love !
>clarararahoho ; the darlingest of darlings ((: i love you much !
>christi ; the person who brings me joy and laughter, love you lots ((:
>choooo ; the best person i would want to have a conv with, LOVE ((:
>cheryloo ; the stony silence can never erase bonds, love ((:
>brothers ; kenrick and kennard, for being there to protect me each time HE strikes, love ((:
>bester ; no one could ever ever replace you ! love ((:













this is one day, i hope i will look back and smile ;

throw me a lifeline
9:43 AM

___________________________



Wednesday, June 22, 2005

i know you think that i shouldn't still love you
i'll tell you that
but if i didn't say it
well i'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that <

moodless. totally.
just realised, im so straight-setted. its not only me thats getting picked on. theres still him. and hes REALLY crazy when it happens to him. he really really really went crazy. and i mean shen jing bing. it happened THRICE ))): idiotic moron, I HATE.

samantha got into cjc. ((: good for her.

tmr > TUITION
billy bombers lunch ((((:
alot like love ((:
perhaps dinner, my swensens treat ((:

gosh, im feeling pampered tmr.

nigel lee guo en that brother of mine, msged me happy birthday today. hahs, mixed dates up ayye.
mesy msged me happy birthday just. gosh, is TWENTY THREE sucha hard date to rmb.
no one can beat zl. 13th june. HAHS.




alryyt, hi my darling ((: i miss you mrs ho ! =DD. your testimonial is totally heartmelt worthy. LOVE YOU ((((:













everything breaks down this way. i see it was wrong ((: im over it. i never expected much anyway. im changed, in this way. no big deal. still its gna be a secret, you will never know, no one will ever know.













i wish, i wish, i wish. ((: no, not for him to die. i wish for smth else.
tmr is my birthday. i just hope wishes work better on my birthday.
maybe a shooting star?
or birthday cake candles.
16 of them.
16.
sweet 16. it wont be sweet one bit. no way
I CANT WAIT. til im old enough.
old enough to ... ((:

throw me a lifeline
9:33 PM

___________________________

IM SICK OF THIS LIFE
I JUST WNA SCREAM
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME <

this daily nightmare i cant take

there's always a solution to a problem. dying is never a solution, BUT IT IS, in my case. i wish my idiotic moron will die. die now. die this very instant. dont have to say bye, just die. i wish i could stab him, stab stab stab. hais.

i cant believe im saying this.


i really feel like heading down to the beach right about now.
I JUST WNA SCREAM.
scream and cry. cry and scream.

no one can really understand what im going thru, cos no one GOES THRU IT. no one can understand my hatred thats so deep. no one. all someone can do is just listen to me, hug me when i cry, dry my tears, lend me their shoulders, say it's alryyt, everything will be alryyt. BUT EVERYTHING IS NOT ALRYYT. it isnt, it never will be. when youre scarred, the scar remains with you forever. its a mark, it's changed who i am. who i wna be. counselors wont work, how many goes thru whatever im going thru. its a secret i'd rather keep to myself. how can i trust strangers? i cant. no one could really do that. i cant do anything now. i cant.

i cant even stop myself from remembering. maybe i could, maybe i would. maybe maybe maybe.
i wish that person will die, NOW.

its the strongest, greatest wish ive ever and i will ever wish for.













i try to hold on to a time where nothing mattered ;

throw me a lifeline
10:21 AM

___________________________



Tuesday, June 21, 2005

the girl with the broken smile <

didnt wna blog today. BUT I GTA SAY THIS.

MRS CLARA HO ((:
I LOVE YOU ABSOLUTELY MUCH !
I MISS YOU ABSOLUTELY ABSOLUTELY MUCH AS WELL.
please, no one can be AS SWEET as her ((:
wait, i'll show you what i mean.

>16. TWO PERSONS THAT YOU MISS A LOT?
- HAHA more than 2, KARO (:
>i miss my darling karo too.
ahhh i miss you the most!
(((:
i'll get to see you soon.
yes yes yes?
heeeeeeee (:
so sweet.
can't stand it.
HAHAHAHA we're like saying -ILOVEYOU to each other online now.
haha madness.
but it's normal.
((:
I LOVE HER!


my gosh, please i dont think anyone can ever come close to her sweetness. DARLING, I MISS YOU ((: im gna see you IN ONE WEEK'S TIME. i cant WAIT. (((((((:







hmm.i guess everyone has this emotional side to herself. no matter how strong she appears, how happy she appears, how popular she may be. there's always this down side. hahs, how sad it seems. no one can be perfectly happy for life. hais. ohwells. memories are there to keep you company, but sometimes, i wish we could just forget you know. there's so many things i wish i could just put behind. i dont mind getting amnesia now. forget everything, including my name, my everything. no troubles, no memories, no crying. no recollection of what i am, maybe then i can be happy. like the guy in "square pegs" i wish we all just led lives like him, simple, happy, absent-minded. i guess being retarded, or dimwitted, is good. we'll all just be simple and everything.

memories suck, alot. i may be with him, but my heart's not totally his. it belongs to the people i've been with, and truly loved. i dont want to remember at times. sometimes i wish we could sleep, and forget all the bad things, all the things we wna forget.

maybe, just maybe, i might not wna forget you. but youre past. i know. sometimes, it hurts to look back and look forward. and the present's not much good. hmmm.




i would really like to sleep on it, but i dont even dare to sleep. this life just sucks. i just cant wait for some things in life to happen. i pray for Him to protect me, i guess i can only do it myself.













no, you cant help me, you just make me smile ((: ;

throw me a lifeline
9:37 PM

___________________________



Monday, June 20, 2005

how can you say you meant anything different
to anyone standing alone on the street with a cigarette <

manu replied my email ((: three more days til we can go out AGAIN. ((: i can't waaiit. THERE'S SO MUCH THINGS I HAVE TO TELL YOU DEARIE, we must must must ((: i CANT WAIT. seriously !

mr jansen ! ((: three more days, THREE ! ((:

hmm, trg for sports day ppl tmr at 8. hopefully the stadium has no soccer game going on. like the other time huh. -looks at loke.

ah right, talking about loke, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAN MA ((: youre sixteen three days earlier than me.dont worry, i'll catch up.

did chem from early morning, and i mean early. like 12am that kind of early? yupp. was totally not sleepy cos slept from 5-9.30 ytd aft. so mr jansens gave me a really good suggestion of going to study. and errm. i must admit, i was really freaked out by the toilet bowl [i was hiding in the toilet, THINK STRAIGHT] it was making all those weird sounds. mr jansen said to disturb it poke it flush it. hahas. so i rushed out of the toilet to do work. the fan was so noisy, i thot the family would wake up. hahas. early morning i think the singtel service provider got problem. i sent a msg to mr jansen, he received it later much later this morning. and that stupid hamster is sleeping now, nocturnal animal he is. errm =\
hahas, my younger brother brought back this starwars game for the ps2. my elder brother tried it out. it was a total joke man. i laughed like mad. my brother totally dont know when to use the force, when to attack, what buttons to press. hahas, the game hinted him alr, then he was like "shit, i didnt see what to press" or "shit, i never see my objective" it was hilarious watching my elder brother play it lahh. but he got quite pro alr. my younger bro thrashed him then went for dinner. after his dinner, my elder bro thrashed my younger bro like mad? hmm, i dont dare to play. not a fan of starwars anyhows.

i really wna type a long post, my posts are all so boliao these few days. wait til i go out. uhhuh. on TWENTYTHIRD OF JUNE. ((:

oh gosh, my brother just asked me "jiejie, if someone is primary five, then her birthday is 15th of jan, is she 11+" so i went like "yea." then he asked why. so i explained that her birthday's over, so she's 11+. so he went like " so i'm 13+ lahh." i said yes. then he said "so youre....." i replied "16-. 16 minus three days" and he laughed. =D. gosh it feels good to say IM 16 MINUS. minus three days.

stupid hammy, sleep sleep sleep. i wna sleep too. but im scared i cant sleep at night. MY TEEVEE SHOW TIME IS OVER. i din watch my cartoons today ! )): i'll wait til 5 then. ((: there's HI-5 AND SPONGEBOBSQUAREPANTS. now he's retarded as well ((:

hahas. ((: bye.













do i miss you? definitely !

throw me a lifeline
3:05 PM

___________________________



Sunday, June 19, 2005

i cant explain what happened
and i cant erase the things that ive done <

((: > clara is BACK. wheeee. my darlingest darling ((: hahas. i read her blog THEN I REALISED WHAT WAS MISSING FROM MY BLOG. ((: hahas.

just woke up lahh. slept since 5plus? hahas. brother and parents are back. finally its noisy AGAIN. hee.

right, gosh. i havent eaten dinner. but im like not hungry? hmmmm. hahas. i'll just go and eat. fine, i'm a pig. hahas.

4 more days ((:

the sweetest way to say hi ;

throw me a lifeline
10:06 PM

___________________________

and i cant stand the pain
and i cant make it go away <

i am tired.
i keep yawning.
guess the time !
5.o5 pm
damn it.

right i guess i should prolly go to sleep? i am super super tired. ive got like a lack of sleep these two days? ytd and today. slept really early, round 2am? yupp. gosh.

bye world.

throw me a lifeline
5:06 PM

___________________________

i try to see
but im blinded by the white light ;

tuition timing was changed to 12.30. and i had to move my ass off the bed at 9.30? wonderful.

grrrr, im going to get some breakfast. then back to sleep.













these smiles are meant for you ;

throw me a lifeline
10:32 AM

___________________________

the night goes on
as i'm fading away
i'm sick of this life
i just wna scream ;

wrote two poems last night, crappy ones though. hah. at least it unbore me.
im so tired, slept at like 2 this morning and ytd. have to wake up so early for tuition somemore )):
i dont see the use of tuition lahh. it's like youre learning the same stuffs again?
then you can still read the textbook yourself what, to learn.
gosh, i really dont know who invented tuition, we can always have extra lessons in school that kinda thing.
but everyone's having tuition, who can sleep in then?
the tutors have to wake up extra early, at least they get money.
but WE dont. )):

hahas, im so tired lahh. i just dont feel like having tuition today. especially chem one )):













((: i can't smile without you <

throw me a lifeline
9:58 AM

___________________________



Saturday, June 18, 2005

i'm slipping off the edge
i'm hanging by a thread ;

my last post was crap, i was too bored, bored bored. )):

you should see all the testimonials i'm writing for nigel james jansen, that silly hammy sofa tomato.
it's all song lyrics, cos im so bored ayye.
theres like nothing to do.

the suckiest thing that you could ever have on your birthday?
>TUITION. )): two hours of CHEMISTRY tuition
gosh, i sure hope hammy jansen can cheer me way up.

i am dead bored )):













i called you today, just to here you say you're not around ; and i miss you so`

throw me a lifeline
4:15 PM

___________________________



Friday, June 17, 2005

i try to go on like i never knew
i'm awake but my world is half asleep ;

nigel's in malaysia. haha.
he's stuffing his face with food that guy.
that PIIIIG.

out with alwyn was quite nice.
he was half an hour late. grrr.
we watched two movies, fancy that.
ice princess and batman begins.
we took neos that shouldnt be neos.
we totally dont know what the heck we were doing.
hah, wasted money there.
ice princess was alryyt.
batman begins just isnt my type. totally falling asleep lahh. hah.
we were both freezing. and i ate icecream somemore. hah.
even with my jacket on, i was still shivering and my teeth were chattering like mad?
hahas. ((:

darling's in camp, nigel's in kl, nicole's back to entertain bester, parents in cameron highlands, brothers at a partyye, theres nothing good on teevee.
gosh im bored )):
should have stayed out longer. dang.













i miss you.

throw me a lifeline
8:12 PM

___________________________

to hey ;
i din lie. i had tuition, then i went out. i din even noe what time the gathering was. or where.

throw me a lifeline
7:34 PM

___________________________



Thursday, June 16, 2005

i like nigel james jansen. ((:
he's so funny and i know something of his. HAH. ((:

okay, wait, i just read back. i like nigel james jansen as a friend.
poor thing, im gna miss him when he's away in malaysia, oscar will too.
but i will flood him ((: im so looking forward to that. one testimonial a day. counting down to my birthday ! hah, and im getting birthday icecream still. ((: BIRTHDAY ICECREAM, yepp, my date for my birthday is mr jansen. he's damn funneh lahh.

tomorrow ! ((: im looking forward to it, alwyn ! hah.

my parents are leaving the house at an ungodly hour, FOUR FORTYFIVE AM. its am mind you, not pm. so my brother's asleep. HAH, for that im happy. ((: no screamings and everything. but i bet i'll be woken up by his stupid alarm, cos no alarm wakes him up. then it'll ring and ring, AND WAKE ME UP. and i need sleep )):

CLARA DARLING IS THE SWEETEST AND DARLINGEST THING ALIVE. ((: gosh, i love her so. so so so. she's going off to camp tmr, i'll DEFINITELY MISS HER. hey YOU, here's a BEAR HUG for you before you go off. ((: feel the warmth yes, and miss me too ! hahas, and you love me as much as mr ho? ((: gosh, that makes me smile ((((((: I LOVE YOU TO BITS AND PIECES DARLING. ((: HER BLOG'S JUST SO SWEET. ((: hahas. yes, i love you i love you i love you. gosh, i dont know how many iloveyous ive said. ((: and she promoted me, LOOK AT HER LINKS. ((: theres a smiley face beside my name, and ITS IN CAPS. GOSH, I LOVE HER !













smile ! ((: cos at least someone loves you.

throw me a lifeline
10:09 PM

___________________________

hey im afraid
this could get ugly
and i might leave here alone ;

chem tuition today.
finished chapter seven and eight.
im still not very clear with mole and everything?

my brothers being very irritating and playing this irritating song > tuo diao.
eugh.

out wiv alwyn tmr, hah. and fancy this > we still dont know what time we're meeting and what we're gna do. bugger. i asked him to msg me, i bet he went to sleep. bugger bugger bugger. hah.

family overseas tmr. ((: house to myself. and my maid. and my elder brother. and my love. okay. fine. at least there's no limits. hah.

and mr jansen havent told me when we're going out for my icecream yet. hahs.

im really bored, and i see this really nice quiz on lover's blog, i'll just do it. ((:

EDIT / First, write down the names of twenty people you know. Then read and answer the questions.You can't look at the questions until you write down the twenty names you're going to use.
1. kevin yap
2. charmaine choo
3. cheryl oo
4. mesy
5. ho jiayee
6. olivia lee
7. christina chiang
8. joy lim
9. clara HO
10. nigel james jansen
11. cheong yuen teck
12. manuela forster
13. mindy ng
14. nessa loh
15. samantha foo
16. li zheng liang
17. kelly lim
18. gaelan gu
19. joel loke
20. tan sijay


1. Is #9 a boy or a girl? A GIRL ((: the darlingest of darlings. hah.
2. Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? ERM, HAH, charmaine hates yt for some reason. I THINK THEY WOULD.
3. How about #18 and #4? GAELAN GU AND MESY. hahahahahahas. no comments.
4. What grade is #17 in? secondary four
5. When was the last time you talked to #12? 31st june, SHE'S IN SWITZERLAND NOW, that lucky duck.
6. What's #6's favourite band? olivia. hmmmm, i think hillsong too.
7. Does #1 have any siblings? YES, one older sister.
8. Would you ever date #3? hah, im straight.
9. Would you ever date #7? hah, she's my cousin.
10. Is #16 single? he is, BUT HE'S TAKEN.
11. What's #15's last name? foo, or yin? hah.
12. What's number #10's middle name? JAMES. mr jansen !
13. What's #5's favorite thing to do? STUDY, seriously.
15. Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? NESS AND LOKE, erm, leonard will kill me and him for this.
16. What school does #20 go to? fairfield.
17. Tell me a random fact about #11? he has BEAUTIFUL eyes ((:
18. And #1: > the bestest bester EVER.
19. And #4: i love her brain cells, the smartest smarty ever.
20. Have you ever had a crush on #15? I AM STRAIGHT.
21. Have you ever dated #15? I AM STRAIGHT.
22. Where does #9 live? in wenlong's house, HAH.
23. What's #3 favorite color? orange i think.
24. Would you makeout with #14? nessa? sure i would. BUT IM STRAIGHT.
25. Are #5 & #6 best friends? hmm, we're all in one clique, so i think so.
26. Does #7 like #2? hmm, we're all in one clique, so definitely.
27. Does #8 like #19? she doesnt like him in that bgr way. and the other way, no comments.
28. How did you meet #2? 2c ((:
29. How did you meet #18? through christinaa, hah.
30. Does #10 have any pets? FATTY AND PEANUT, the two adorable hammies, i'm gna steal ((:
31. Is #12 older than you? yupp, one month ten days older.
32. Is #17 the sexiest person alive, or what? errrrrm. if he draws me more rainbows, like ten A DAY, perhaps. HAHAS.





CLARA CLARA CLARA ! ((:
i definitely love you as well, DARLING. ((:
you take cares, must must.
have fun at the camp, and DONT WORRY SO MUCH.
cos i'll love you no matter how much you love mr ho. ((:
I WNA MEET UR BF SOON.
we must go out sometime YES ! (((:

>i love that darling ((: hahas.













wna bet that this will last? ((:

throw me a lifeline
6:16 PM

___________________________



Wednesday, June 15, 2005

hey stay with me
as im getting naked
stripped down to the bone ;

im having this really crazy conv with clara now.
the topic > WENLONG.
she's absolutely crazy over that guy LAHH.

blah, whatever ; screams shouts tearsmyhairout )):

i still cant believe i did 162 chem questions. hah.

I JUST SAW SMTH REALLY DISGUSTING, EUGH
-vomits.

my love rocks ((:

i like my hair today.

EIGHT MORE DAYS, til martin's birthday ((:
fine fine, my birthday too. ((:


moodspoiler, unreasonable idiotic moron !
KILLJOY, WHATEVER













it all seems so real.

throw me a lifeline
8:26 PM

___________________________

i've found another heartthrob. ((:
> TIMOTHY JOHN HARDING ((:
the hi-5 guy. ((: i was watching hi-5 ytd, and i realised HOW SHUAI HE IS ((:

TODAY.
> ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO QUESTIONS OF CHEM.
i am PRO. ((: alryyt, it's only MCQ, but its 162 questions LAHH. ((:
>i watched the tv from 10am to 3pm ((: hah, kids central has a super nice series of cartoons to catch lahh. ((: watched mtv then kids central for like dont know how long, then i changed back to mtv. hah ((: i did my work and i watched tv, i din noe i could multi task. HAH.

now im using the comp. shit, im bored )):

ALWYN ! > fridaayy, is TWO MORE DAYS.

i like alot of songs. ((:













its all just a dream.

throw me a lifeline
3:18 PM

___________________________



Tuesday, June 14, 2005

TODAY

>SIX chapters of CHEM.
>LIBRARY ((: two books.
>THE INCREDIBLES, again.
>received manu's testimonial, immediately replied her with a SUPER LONG EMAIL. ((: gosh, I MISS HER SO. hope youre having down at switzerland girlly. I'LL SEE YOU IN NINE DAYS YES ! > she's arriving in singapore at my birthday see, how sweet right. hah
>MSN HAS A PROBLEM, i so cant sign in > the girl hates.

right, my mom just borrowed my calculator, then she asked me HOW TO ON IT. hahs, i love my mom, she's just so doink at times. THEN she thot that to off it, she has to press the SHIFT AND AC AT THE SAME TIME errrrm. hah.

i knocked my KNEE on the EDGE of the comp table. and my mom laughs at me. and calls me "dai lam bao" > whatever that means. then she said the sound of the knock came first a few secs later than my ow came. i think im suffering retardation. AYYE ! ((: the girl likes. hah.

just saw this nike advert. its nice. ((: hah. i like nike adverts, i just dont really fancy nike stuffs, cos i cant wear their shoes and all? but its adverts are fantabulous. ((:

MY BROTHER IS PLAYING BACK THIS GOAL RONALDINHO KICKED. ((: HE'S HEARTTHROB NUMBER FOUR. IM GNA GET HIS PIC AND PLACE IT IN MY FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT. ((: YES.













that, i like. eyecandy, i love. ((:

throw me a lifeline
10:00 PM

___________________________



Monday, June 13, 2005

just saw this >
my girlfriend said if i go surfing one more time, she'll leave. gosh, i'll miss her.
((: hah, you bet, i cut it out and pasted it in my big book. ((: it's so funneh alryyt.
hah.
my last post was kinda crap, i was just too bored lahh.

chem tuition tmr > im not looking forward to it. NO. )): my head will go bust.

im kinda looking forward to this fri > out wiv alwyn. ((: he promised to make me happy. HAH, i wna see how he does that.

ciao, bedtime, YAWNS. boo.













<3 eyecandy. ((:

throw me a lifeline
10:05 PM

___________________________

((:













EYECANDY.ive been thinking of you.

throw me a lifeline
8:05 PM

___________________________

zhengliang, that silly bugger, msged me happy birthday at 2am this morning.
WHAT A JOKE > HAH.

watched raise your voice.
its really really nice lahh. ((:
the guy's not bad looking too, but mine's definitely better ((:
now im addicted to hillary duff's songs. hah. ((:
her voice is really nice, i dont know why.

kl ; hahas, i dont go to any specific gym, just clementi lahh. its the nearest. heh.

zl ; HAH. its your problem. go do your math homework, our deal's still on ! ayye.













; youre just like a post-it note.reminding me of things i just wish i would forget.

throw me a lifeline
3:09 PM

___________________________

(1) what is my name?
karolynn

(2) when is my birthday?
TEN MORE DAYS.

(3) What kinda of feeling am i feeling now?
lazy =D

(4) How many smses are there in my inbox?
15, i just cleared it.

(5) What is my phone's current wallpaper?
rainbow. ((:

(6) what songs am i listening to now?
currently on tong hua ; guang liang. im listening to my playlist.

(7) who am i chatting with now?
some one. ((:

(8) who is the last person that i sms till now?
charmaine choo choo. but li zhengliang msged me this morn saying happy birthday. ERRRM =\\
(9) which channel am i watching now?
wait, i'll on the teevee first. PLEASE, who can multi task until like that. okay, now it's on mtv. hah.

(10) who is the last person that i called?
my home. ytd ytd.

(11) who is the last person who called me?
my home too. ytd ytd.

(12) what am i chatting about now?
something. ((:

(13) where did i go today?
nowhere. i wna go gym, BUT, you guessed it, im too lazy.

(14) is my phone batt low?
nope.

*PREFER*

(15) pasta to pizzas
pizzas.

(16) mp3 to discman
ipod minis.

(17) piano to organ
organs. i think they're cooler lahh.

(18) PC to laptop
laptops. i can bring them anywhere.

(19) basketball to floorball
netball. ((:

(20) piano to saxophone
errrrm ((:

(21) fiction to non-fiiction
fictions, horror, murder. you name it. anything fiction, i'll read !

(22) cartoon to drama serials
what cartoon? what drama serials? who's acting in it? i'll watch anything wiv haley joel osment, tigger, gao tian qi or oscar in it.

*Wish*

(23) to have a boy friend?
maybe, maybe not. who?

(24) to have a laptop?
yes !

(25) a new handphone?
YES YES !

(26) a mp3?
i have one, so i want a digi cam !

(27) New set of study table?
yes, mine's too small.

(28) for an older brother?
for my younger brother to turn to an older, more matured brother? YES. i have the world's best older brother alr.

*DO I?*

(29) have a crush rite now?
nope.

(30) hate or love my bro??
which bro?

(31) enjoy my life now??
nope.

(32) study during the hols?
yes yes ! i have tuition.




1] the prettiiest gurll iin ur class..
--charmaine choo choo train !
2] the mostt shuai guy iin ur class..
--a few months ago, i would say him, but since... so DONT HAVE.
3] the cutestt gurll iin ur class..
--MESY !
4] the coolestt guy iin ur class..
--define COOL.
5] the sportiiest gurll iin ur class..
--errm, me !
6] the sportiest guy iin ur class..
--sijay
7] the quiet-ess gurll iin ur class...
--cheryl oo.
8] the quiet-ess guy iin ur class..
--secret, actually, i dont know.
9] the smartest gurll iin ur class..
--MESY.1st in class
10] the smartestt guy iin ur class..
--ABHISHEK.2nd in class. HAH.
11] the best joker iin ur class..
--define joker.
12] the best lame-er iin ur class..
--i think me.
13] two ppl hu r good iin eng..
--charmaine, sijay.
14] two ppl hu r good iin chii..
--cheryloo, mesy.
15] two ppl hu r good in liit.
--mesy, sijay.
16] two mostt creatiive ppl..
--oliviaaa, christinaaa
17] 3 ppl wiif the nicest n attractiive handriiting..
--cheryl oo, mesy, loke
18] 3 ppl wiif good leadershiip qualitiies..
--chairman, vicechairman, class captains. hah, moses, oli, sijay, alson.
19] bestt teacherrs pett..
--mesy. hah, but not in the bad way lahh.
20] do eeu liike ur class?
--YES YES ! ((:




1. wad are you doin?
listening to music, breathing, typing, looking, sitting, moving, thinking, this.
2. wad were you doin before?
errm, points up.
3. who are you thinking of now?
someone ((:
5. wad tyme did you sleep last night?
quite early.
6. wad did you do last night?
sleep !
7. wad did you last say to a friend?
errrrm. hah, dont know.
8. wad attracts euu to the opposite sex?
character, i guess. eyes also.
9. wad makes you happy?
KHAODEE.
10. wad are you wearing right now?
clothes !
11. wad will you do after answering this?
try to unlaze myself and go to the gym, or watch teevee.
12. who was the last person you talked to?
my maid.
13. wad do you want to tell ur crush but you haven't?
what crush? i dont have one ((:
14. when is your birthday?
TEN MORE DAYS.
15. what you wanna get 4 ur birthday?
look at my wishlist.
16. when did you last cry?
errrrm. secret.
17. when did you last smile?
a very long time ago.
18. why are u answering these questions?
cos im BORED.
19. when will you marry?
asap.
20. when did u last receive a gift?
ytd ytd.
21. when did you last drink alcoholic beverages?
at manu's party. HAH.
22. who will you vote for president?
DANIEL SEOW. HAH.
23. who was the last person you talked about?
talked ABOUT? errm. dont know.
24. who makes you happy?
someone. ((:
26. who do u love?
God.
27. who do you hate most among your friends?
if they're my friends, why should i hate them?
29. who has the cutest smile you've ever seen?
haley joel osment
30. who do you talk on d phone with often?
whoever.
31. do you belong to a club in your school?
nope.
32. how's school?
no schoool.
33. any regrets?
errrm. not really, except being born.
34. do you take drugs?
duuh.
35. are you a shopaholic?
only if i have CASH!
36. do you have someone in mind that you wish to get marry with?
someone ((:
37. do you like swimming?
YES.
38. do you wear eye contacts?
nope.
40. do you kiss your parents good night?
nope.
41. does your bf/gf often send you messages in friendster?
yes. ((: my imaginary one does.
42. how about in e-mail?
yes. ((: my imaginary one does.
43.hair colour?
of? me? brownish black.
44 feeling right now?
bored, lazy.
45 what makes u feel that?
something.
46 how do you treat your loved ones?
with love, DUUH.
47 are you loved?
yes, God loves me.
48 weather?
sunny
49 what are u wishing for now?
something ((:








im lazy to go gym. hah, spent the morning transferring pictures to and from my phone and my comp. hah, now theres haley joel osment in my phone. and CHAT in my phone ! ((: tigger as well. ((: updated my photos in friendster. ((: ayye. hah, and did these quizzes. dang. im bored.

throw me a lifeline
9:23 AM

___________________________



Sunday, June 12, 2005

woke up with muscle cramp.
physics tuition.
i like the next chapter, it's quite interesting. ((:
discussed chem tuition.
now im getting chem tuition every tues and thurs.
tried to sleep, ended up reading comics.
changed, headed down to suntec with my mom and bro.
walked til my legs almost died.
ate food.
i am officially gna gain pounds. )):

plans for tmr.
>get up, eat heavy breakfast.
>head down to the gym, at arnd 10? or 9.30?
>no lunch. no no. ((:
>home.
>STUDY. or rather, homework.

there's tons, and im zonked out.













i keep getting flashbacks. WHY.

throw me a lifeline
8:50 PM

___________________________



Saturday, June 11, 2005

day was great, then he had to go spoil everything.

((:
watched pck with my cousin.
the show wasn't that nice anyways.
went town to meet up wiv my auntie.
had sushitei for dinner. ((:
ate yummy black sesame icecream ((:
then we walked all around paragon cos i claimed there was a roxy store.
heh, we found quiksilver, which was combined with roxy lahh.
yes, we checked the directry [or isit directory? whatever] thing.
hah. ((:
got my first birthday gifts.
this roxy wallet and this roxy bag.
i really wanted the white and brown design for the wallet.
but it'll get dirty easier, so had to settle wiv the black and pink.
hah, and my gifts were cheaper than the dinner. ((:

tian's hilarious, he just wished me happy birthday.
then asked me when's my birthday.
then he told me his birthday is in july.
errrrm =\\\. heh.

ate 3 icecreams today.
a magnum at my cousin's house.
then the black sesame icecream at sushi tei.
just ate chocolate + cookies and cream.
darn, im gna get fat, and i cant blame anyone.
gyming again real soon.
have to. and i'll prolly go alone this time.
im gna hog the treadmill like forever.
its addictive, i wonder why?
darn, im RETARDED.

seow keeps sending me songs.
hah, and im too lazy to upload it to my ipodmini.
darn, i gta get out of these lazy spells.
darn.

much homework left undone.
dannnnggggg.
and im super duper tired lahh.
i feel like sleeping for 5843059813 hours.
it just sucks having tuition on a weekEND.
at TEN in the morning.
beats having school at EIGHT in the morning.

CHEONG YUEN TECK IS A SWEETIEPIE.
officially (((:
he so rocks. wait wait, i'll copy paste what he just msn-ed me.
alwyn. says:
haha..
alwyn. says:
great..
alwyn. says:
ur finally happy
alwyn. says:
haha..
alwyn. says:
can stop worrying about u
sweet ayye? and he always asks how i am.
and HE knows my dirty little secret. ((: heh.
and we're talking about death now. hah.
he's giving funneh reasons to die early, and yes, i DO agree.
hah.
fine, im quite evil lahh alryyt.

i suddenly like this word.
>lol.
shit, im retarded.
oh wait, retarded's still the all time favourite.

hahas, this post is quite long lahh. ((:
and its not some survey.
im actually having much fun today.

yawns, i think im gna turn in soon.
but i wna watch who am i.
ive watched it too many times alr tho.
shucks, i AM retarded.

i pressed the wrong button and guess what turned up?
FUCKER!. RIPPING IS WRONG. YOU SHOULD LEARN. (:
HAH. whatever.

i took an hour to type this?
wth

bye world.













i deny it, but YOU are eye candy. absolutely.

throw me a lifeline
10:38 PM

___________________________

i just saw this mambo top that i so love.
((:
it's just white with the mambo word "sponged" on in rainbow colors. ((:
total heartmelt.

AAAH. ((:
my favourite soccer player is on
>RONALDINHO.
yums. (((((((((((((((:


yeeha. ((: watching pck later wiv my cousin.
yums.



i want my icecream soon, mr jansen !













i see him, i smile.
nothing to say.

throw me a lifeline
12:27 PM

___________________________



Friday, June 10, 2005

had a much fun time screaming about everything through msn to yuenteck and stalker. ((:
it feels good chatting with bester once again. but once SHE comes back, aah, there's only yuenteck left to scream at.

today was crazy lahh.
dragged myself out of my bed to meet the sports day ppl at queenstown.
so early and yet we had to wait so long.
i couldve slept longer lahhs. )):
walked to the stadium which was hell far.
soccer game on, cant use the stadium.
went downt to clementi stadium.
yes, the guys had to wait til i climbed up the overhead bridge then tell me there's another game on. eugh.
i was almost dying then.
the guys wanted to play errrm = CATCHING?
walked a BIG round to clementi gym.
ran 20 mins on the treadmill =D
its weird, im complaining about walking and everything.
then i went to run.
not weird, RETARDED.
running on treadmills are fun, i dont know why im so eager to do that.
met up with mr jansen, gave him his promised treat.
went home.
THEN.
mesy called.
went down to faber gifts factory with her.
FINALLY HANDED IN THE CLASS TEESHIRT DESIGN.
ITS OVER.
NO MORE NIGHTMARES.
((((((((((((((((((((((:

YES.

>NO MORE CLASS TEESHIRT HEADACHES.
>JOEL TAN HAN RONG ((((: he gave me this picture of LI ZHANG ! ((((: that heartmelter that i met in china. YES. ((((((:
>MR JANSEN. he promised a birthday lunch for me. ((: wait, belated birthday lunch i mean. hah. or post birthday lunch.

im poofed and tired.
im going to go get cuter, so mr jansen cant catch up wiv me. yes !
erm, yes it means im going to sleep. heh.













lovely.
> ((:

throw me a lifeline
3:47 PM

___________________________



Thursday, June 09, 2005

i dont ever want to do a class teeshirt anymore.
EVER.

pisses me off.

throw me a lifeline
10:07 PM

___________________________

got this off friendster, like duuh. ((:

1. What does your friendster nickname mean?
karo- means me. im gna change it to karotarded- soon. it means karolyn + retarded ((: yums.
2. Who/what's on your primary photo?
ME AND CHAT ! ((((:
3. Who introduced friendster to you?
errrm, i dont know.
4. What's your age?
fourteen days til sixteen !
5. Are you a busy person?
can say so. =D
6.What are you wearing right now?
clothes.
7. What is life to you?
no comments.
8. What is love to you?
JESUS.
9. What/who do you hate most?
the unreasonable idiotic moron.
10. Who do you love?
God.
11. What makes you happy?
testimonials. oscar. JESUS.
12. Are you musically inclined?
errm, i PLAYED the piano.
13. What happens if you wake up one morning to news that you've lost a loved one?
perhaps, i'll die. but crying is definate.
14. Do you love cooking?
please, i cant crack open an egg. and the last time i cooked, mr jansen kena stomachache.
15. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what will you be?
WOMBAT. ((: its fuzzy wuzzy super cute. ((: i love wombats.
16. Name ONE obvious quality you have.
SMALL EYES. yums.
17. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now.?
JERK IT OUT. im listening to it like now.
18. Who do you think would reply to this survey?
no comments.
19. The slowest?
no comments either.
20. Are you happy today?
ytd i was, today just started.
21. Who was in your dreams?
((:
22. Who makes you happy?
JESUS
24.Name the Last Four Things U Have Bought?
food. yums.
25.Name three things you usually drink?
MILO, water and errm sugar cane.
26.Last Time You Cried.
i cant rmb. i think monday. )): i had the depression attack.
27.What's In Your MP3 Player?
323 songs, go see urself.
28.What's Under Your Bed ?
the floor.
29.What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
dont know.
30.Current Hair?
i like it. ((: not too long, not too short.
31.Current Clothes?
fbt and my sec2 class jersey.
32.Current Desktop Picture?
slamdunk. my brother putted it !
33.Current Worry?
how to tell bester smth. ((:
34.Current Hate?
unreasonable idiotic moron.








im bored, i wrote janUNCUTEsen three testimonials. ((: chatting with seow online, he's quite amusing lahh. hahas.
theres 6H GATHERING THIS SAT. and i have to give it a MISS. )): unfairness. )))):






im bored
bored

let me amuse myself.

karolyyn.
karrolynn.
karolynn.
karollyn.
kkarolyn.
karolynn.
karotarded.
karotardedd.
kkarotarded.
karotardded.
karrottarded.

damn, im really bored. )):
my brother's watching teevee, i'll join him.
freaky friday.


> my secret, only me and bester knows.
and i know smth of his ! ((:

throw me a lifeline
9:52 AM

___________________________



Wednesday, June 08, 2005

YAY. ((:

im a happy girl today.

>janUNCUTEsen promised three proper testimonials for me. ((:
>ME AND BESTER ARE talking ! as in seriously. finally. (((((((((: I SHARED WITH HIM A SECRET ONLY HE WILL EVER KNOW. YAY.
>my darling forgave me, whee. but he wasn't really angry with me and everything. cheapskate. hah.
>THE CLASS TEESHIRT IS FINALLY FINALLY ALMOST DONE. ((((:

IM HAPPY.

i like caps all of a sudden as in > CAPS. not the hat stuff. YAY YAY. ((:
I LIKE THE WORD RETARDED.

i am retarded, im starting to think that i am lahh. ((:



i opened zhengliangs diary.
first page, there in brown i saw the words fork and spoon. memories flooded back. i just dont know what to feel. flipped to 2804, saw the name i designed. and the words i wrote about how much he rocked. man. then i wrote :

it was just a thing of the past.
we'll fade into each others memories.
we don't matter to each other anymore.
i just want youu to smile.

so keep this in mind, cos i know youu'll read this. if youu're happy, i'll be happy for youu. what we ever had was never just a simple fling to me. it meant much to me. and when we sat there holding hands, i was the happiest person alive. til now i can still remember the feel of youur hand in mine. yes. ((: take cares, LOVELY.

throw me a lifeline
10:22 PM

___________________________



Tuesday, June 07, 2005

bitter, bitter was the pain
and wilder and wilder grew her song
for she sang of the love that is perfected by death
of the love that dies not in the tomb
-Oscar Wilde

i like that. > points up.

no, no. im fine. seriously.
im just weird. )):
or rather retarded.


KAROTARDED. ((:
mr jansen gave me that name.
i really like the word retarded.
really lahh !

RETARDEDNESS.
RETARDATION.
RETARDEDLY.
RETARDED.
KAROTARDED.

throw me a lifeline
4:58 PM

___________________________

i dont want to become what i was.
i dont want to keep crying.
i dont want to keep thinking of dying.
i dont want to cry.
i dont want to cry.
i dont want to cry.

why doesn't it work.
why do i keep crying.
and why do i keep thinking of death.

most of the times, i wish i was dead.
perhaps, cry til i die.

throw me a lifeline
7:57 AM

___________________________

SCREAMS
SCREAMS

what would you do if i started crying in front of you?
what would you do if i died right now?

i can bet you wont care.

you wont.
so much for a _ _ _ _ _ _ )):

i give up, you win alryyt.

throw me a lifeline
7:48 AM

___________________________



Monday, June 06, 2005

1.WHAT DATE IS IT?
-`` good question, what date isit?
2. WHAT TIME DID U WAKE UP?
-`` dont know, dont care. =D
3. DID U GO SOMEWHERE ELSE?
-``school then aljunied then cheryloo's house.
4. WHAT DID U DO THERE?
-``amath, class tee, class tee.
5. HOW OLD ARE U?
-`` 17 more days til im SIXTEEN.
6. ARE U MATURE OR IMMATURE?
-``im retarded. ((:
7. WHAT DO U CALL UR MOM & DAD?
-``father and mother.
8. ARE U AN ONLY CHILD?
-``yes i will be, if you shoot my brothers dead.
9. WHERE DO U GO SHOPPING?
-``somewhere
10. WHATS UR PERFUME/COLOGNE?
-``i smell nice without that stuffs on
11. U USE IT EVERYDAY?
-``nope.
12. DO U WAN TO GET MARRIED?
-``YES.
13. WITH WHOM?
-``my husband.
14. ARE U SPOILED?
-``im retarded ((:
15. WHATS E MOST FLATTERINGCOMPLIMENT U EVER GOT?
-``erm, people dont compliment me !
16. ONLY GIRL/BOY IN THE FAMILY?
-``yes.
17. IF U WERE TO MARRY A CELEBRITY, WHOWOULD IT BE?
-``HALEY JOEL OSMENT. ((:
18. WOULD U LIKE TO MEET REGINEVELASQUEZ?
-``who's that.
19. WHERE DO U THINK UR BESTFRIEND IS?
-``in singapore.
20. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME U TALKED TOUR BESTFRIEND?
-``hell long. BESTER, YOU SEE THIS.
21. U THINK SHE/HE NEEDS U NOW?
-``nope, the bester has other people.
23. WHAT DO U WANT FOR UR BIRTHDAY?
-``retarded !
25. IF U WERE TO BUY A CAR , WHICH CARWOULD IT BE?
-``convertible !
26. A DUET WITH HEART EVANGELISTA?
-``errm? =\27. DO U WEAR MAKE-UP?
-``nope.
28. WHAT LIP BALM DO U USE?
-``dont use.
29. WOULD U GET A TATOO?
-``YES.
30. BELLY PIERCE?
-``YES YES.
31. HOW MANY KIDS DO U WANT?
-``2 ! one girl one boy, one named faith the other chat.
32. DO U HAVE ANY HOMEWORK?
-``PILES.
33. ANY SONG THAT YOU'RE LISTENING?
-``errm, nope. im retarded ((:
34. DO U BELIEVE IN SPELLS?
-``what spells?
35. WHERE DO U WANT TO GO NOW?
-``RETARDED LAND.



YAY, YUENTECKS BEING RETARDED WITH ME !
YAY, BESTERS BEING RETARDED WITH ME TOO !

RETARDED SOUNDS SO NICE. ((:

throw me a lifeline
9:00 PM

___________________________

class tee shirt is finally decided.
yes, its gna be super pretty.
i'll make sure it is.
the colour's nice and unique too. ((:
YAY.

mr jansen, take cares !
get well soon too, then i can take you out for errm, dinner.
and then i won't die of guiltiness, like you said i shouldnt. ((:
the green bugger's MINE. ((:
and its kinda retarded "chatting" through testimonials so i added you on msn.
RETARDATION LAHH.

school school school.
homework homework homework.
class tee class tee class tee.
its MY LIFE.
yes, i'll admit, its RETARDED.
and nobody messages me and stuffs, and im utttterrrlllyyyy BORED. :((
RETARDED.
it sounds quite nice.
retarded retarded retarded.
okayy, im retarded. ((:

yes, its over.
i FINALLY stop liking xyz and whoever i liked before that.
yes yes yes. ((:
let go, letting go, LETTED GO !
yes yes yes yes !
jealous? no more. ((:
go find her for all i care.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEE.

unreasonable idiotic moron.
my bester, must add the unreasonable in front !
aye, and you never reply me. :((

throw me a lifeline
8:25 PM

___________________________

what the hell lahhhhh.
teevee shows are getting super lame lahh.
-_-""""""""""'
ive never made that face for a super long time, its the correct time now.
the shows are either in malay, too boring, or too KIDDY.
eugh.
erm, the show on now is DONALDS FIRE DRILL erm. =\
shit, now i feel guilty, rosemarrie's darling is sick cos of meeee.
i shouldn't have fed the foodtester all the food i made.
im just not cut out to cook, so my husband must must know how. heh.
ahh, shit lahh, mr jansen ! =(( im so sorry.
dang, now i owe him dinner. heh. =D

leonards funny. he said he doesn't wna go school, then he said he will go school.
errm =\\. hahas.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
WINNIE THE POOH IS ON.
THERES TIGGER.
-SCREAMS
BYE.

throw me a lifeline
9:17 AM

___________________________



Sunday, June 05, 2005

correction to my last post

say it only when you MEAN it.

tummyache. =((, and its not the food i cooked last night cos i didnt eat a single bit of my cooking. and my cousie's fine lahh. uggh. it hurts. =((.

unreasonable idiotic moron.

throw me a lifeline
10:16 PM

___________________________

love.
is not a word to be thrown around.
love.
holds alot of meanings.

so say it only when you really feel it.


and being jealous, just wastes your emotions.
so, im not jealous. nope.




dammit. =((.

throw me a lifeline
9:33 AM

___________________________

had much much much much fun last night.
screaming and laughing.
out with > the chiangrai darlings.
and my cous.
((=.
refer to clara's blog for more.
im too lazy to type out.
click here.

throw me a lifeline
9:28 AM

___________________________



Friday, June 03, 2005

leonard was late.
took a cab down to policestation.
he was too lazy to walk lahh.
reached there at 1.45.
met the guy at 3.05.
yes, we waited that long.
got released at 3.45.
sent me to the mrt then he rushed down to school.

i was quite nervous talking to the guy.
but it was funny the way the police chat with each other.
never expected them to be that human.
they even scold each other lahh.
hah, there was this harrassing case.
it involved a man's mistress.
hahas.

weird, weird.
questions were scary.
i totally dont know what to answer.
had to sign at least 7 times on the statement paper.

=((.
yes, i did smth illegal.

throw me a lifeline
4:25 PM

___________________________

im so bored.
let's pick a topic and then write about it. let's see.

alryyt, watched along came polly just.
continued to do stalker's present.
then i did a bit of chem homework.
yes, me, im doing HOMEWORK.
cousin's staying over > charmaine.
heading down to policestation with leon later.
i got caught doing smth illegal, no big deal.
hah, im so bored that im writing crap.

the days are getting darker. the lights are getting blocked out.

i feel like writing a poem, so ciao.

throw me a lifeline
12:38 PM

___________________________

being jealous just waste your emotions.













damn ; =((

throw me a lifeline
8:20 AM

___________________________



Thursday, June 02, 2005

its funny. one holiday destroys everything?
it destroyed whatever i had going on with youu.
it destroyed the strong friendship bond i had with him.

i hate holidays.
except for 2306.

watched love actually just.
i liked the beginning and the ending.
the scene > airport. everyone's hugging each other.
end of a holiday, they're back together.
eugh.

gaelan's quite interesting.fatsies. ((=.
he has humans remedial, and i dont.
i must be quite good yea? =D.
considering the fact that im still getting the lowest grade in class.
ermm. =\\.

i kinda like my hair.

im lazy to charge my handphone.
im lazy to charge my ipod mini.
now im lazy to go to school.
eugh.

when will i grow up?
when will i learn?
when will i snap out of this?

questions, with no answers.
someone, help. =((.

21 more days.

throw me a lifeline
9:34 AM

___________________________