Tuesday, February 01, 2005

i wna be a reflector-

we all have our own pride. and once one side we thought we could succeed in just broke, we have to hold on by all means to the other side. we all have our own pride. we all just wna be accepted. i dont know how many people really do hate me. but i know theres super plenty more than a handful. even those i considered my super close friends do hate me. talk bad about me. none of us are perfect. im the least perfect one. you all can just hate me. whats the point of treating me as one of your best friend when you actually dont like me. perhaps you never did treat me as one of your friend, much less a best friend. but perhaps now i just dont care.

i cried for no reason. just like her. i dont even wna cry. i just broke down. like her. if this goes too far, you all might just wave goodbye to me. life doesnt work out for me. i just do all the same things all the time. what for? i'll still die in the end. no matter whether its a hundred years down the road or just a year. i'll still die. what's the difference.

like always, ive said ive gone over the edge. dont trigger me. you might just not be able to stop me from crying.

i hate walking from the mrt home. i'll always miss youu a whole lot. throwing everything related to youu away. im kicking youu out of my life. i dont need a guy in my life now. my heart land has been filled up with one person, Jesus. it has many footprints of guys in my life. how easily i give my heart out. that sucks.

want me to list my bad points?
aplenty.
im a flirt. i act cute. im a silly slacker. i work so hard to keep up my grades but i just dont care when a test comes. i cry all the time. im not really a good friend. im unappreciative. i dont see the seriousness of what i say. i hurt everyone without knowing so. i make people hate me. im an attention seeker. i wna know everything. i act like i know everything. i act like as if im very big. i act like as if im the leader. i just want everyone to listen to my problems but when people come to me with theirs, i just walk away. i judge people. im not smart, just tyco. i know my mistakes but i dont change. i act like as if i dare to do anything, but i push the responsibility to anyone else. i cannot control my emotions. i complain when i know that others are worser off than me. i copy others. i act like as if im very pure. so many thousand more. everyone should agree with that.

i really thank all those who have been there for me.
especially especially especially my stalker.
i really thank God for putting someone like my stalker into my life.
sensing when im sad, msging me and everything. especially when youre super tired and youve got so so so so so many things to do. you still have to stay up and accompany me.



last goodbye ;

throw me a lifeline
4:56 PM

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