Friday, December 31, 2004
today was fun !
arrived school to umpire the past present future match.
haha.
then the juniors changed to the PAJAMAS and off we went.
my team was
tiff ng, jamie fok, julia, gina and shah.
hahaa
my team came in FIRST
with EIGHT HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POINTS.
haha, our legs were ALL aching and everything.
but running in the rain was fun.
haha.
rushed back to school.
they made me stand at the gate.
and scream.
"YOU ARE THE FIRST TEAM TO ARRIVE"
hahaa ! ((((((=.
whee.
yeaaaa.
bathed then settled dinner and everything.
yupp.
ate dinner.
haha, it was okayy lahh.
but since i ORDERED it.
it was NICE. (((=.
heh.
right.
did the presentations and everything.
the sec 1s did this SUPER CUTE dance of "you are my sunshine"
then the sec2s did this SUPER LAME advertisment of HEI REN YA GAO, made by none other than VANESSA LOH YA SHI.haha.
then the sec3s did the speech. haha.
spent long long time choreographing the steps. [however u spell it, i dont even know how to pronounce it]
yupp.
then gave out presents and everything.
then took pictures.
haha.
then started to leave.
miss lee was darn funneh today lahh.
haha.
she and her hp.
she touching min's hair.
she and her simpson's ringtones.
haha.
SHIT, IM FREAKING PISSED OFF NOW.
THAT STUPID ASSHOLE OF A BROTHER
NIGEL LEE GUO EN
BLOODEH PROMISED TO LEND ME THE SOCIAL STUDIES
AND WHAT.
HE FREAKING LENT IT TO CHEN YING CHUN.
WAH LAO EH.
IM DARN BLOODEH FREAKING PISSED OFF.
SHIT LAHH WAH LAO EH.
DAMMIT, HE JUST BLOODEH ERASED OFF MY HAPPINESS LAHH.
WAH LAO EH.
SHIT HIM LAHH.
FREAK IT.
darn lahh.
right fine, took my revenge.
he can ask for emath from CHEN YING CHUN now.
grrrrrrrrr.
right.
anyhow.
bye.
new year's eve tmr ppl.
alamak, gna send out super alot of smses again.
haha.
right.
TWENTY FIVE DAYS.
no hi-s, no bye-s, no anything.
no chats, no waves.
no phone calls, no msn games.
no smiles, no frowns, no tears.
no quick peeks, no quick smiles.
no sending me home-s.
no do you miss me-s.
no goodnight kisses.
no im bored.
no lalalala-s.
no entertain me-s.
no more the edge of breaking downs.
no more sorry-s.
no more dots.
no more nvms.
nothing.
HAIS.
dammit, i miss you a whole lot.
and dammit, i love you a whole lot.
THIS GIRL IS BEATEN BROKEN AND BRUISED BIG TIME.
throw me a lifeline
2:25 PM
___________________________
Thursday, December 30, 2004
haha.
ive got alot of things i want this christmas. ((=.
haha.
im pretty happy lahh.
ive got my ipod mini. [scream everyone ! (((=]
ive got my white cap.
ive got the pig i wanted since forever.
ive got my sec 3 physics work handled well enough. passable for tests.
ive made super great friends.
ive got a netball. [ohkaye, this is really cheapskate one. haha, my bro bought it for me?]
ive got a bottle.
haha.
next up, i want a laptop. shall be bugging my parents for that for my birthday next. haha.
right.
farewells tmr.
-crosses fingers.
hope everything turns out fine.
SHYTE. I HAVENT WROTE THE SPEECH YET.
ohkaye, im gone.
24 days.)=
throw me a lifeline
12:03 PM
___________________________
Monday, December 27, 2004
right.
my internet was down a moment ago.
so i went through my chat logs.
HAHA.
our past chats shoots a big smile onto my face.
and it's TWENTYONE DAYS since our last chat
im sorry for saying i hate you.
cos i dont.
yeaaa.
went out wiv roonee today.
was totally dying.
i couldnt walk alot at all.
i saw this cap I LOVE.
(((=.
haha.
hope its still available on tuesday.
yupp.
havent been asking me if i miss you lately.
i do. ((=.
right.
i love martin goh han kiat's nickname.
i practically jumped up and pumped my hands into the air.
and scream.
okayy.
here's the nick.
band practice on monday 27th 830. tomorrow.
everyone, SCREEEAAAM.
im heading down to school earlier tmr. haha.
throw me a lifeline
3:49 PM
___________________________
my background is a super nice picture of none other than haley joel osment.
cute?
haha.
i like this picture of him.
he looks great in it.
but he's not that nice as a background.
all the words are covering him and everything.
haha.
ive got a new crush alr !
name : haley joel osment
born : 10th april 1988 [remember his presents and well-wishes]
haha, nigel has been suffering cos ive been screaming down msn that haley is superly cute.
yes?
no?
haha.
right. tuition time.
throw me a lifeline
5:39 AM
___________________________
Sunday, December 26, 2004
i think ive got very weird taste in guys.
haha.
i mean not guys lahh, but guys i support.
likee.
my fav football player?
ronaldhino. [HE'S SUPER CUTE LAHH.] haha.
my fav actor?
it used to be zl. haha. now its haley joel osment. [HE'S SUPER GOOD LAHH.] haha.
my fav mvp actor?
GAO TIAN QI. gosh, he's super shuai.
right, besides audrey, they all say taizi is better.
shit man, why am i saying all this?
haha, im bored.
superly bored.
superly triplely bored.
and ive got a urge.
to click on your icon.
and just type this.
I LOVE YOU. ((=.
haha.
weird?
throw me a lifeline
4:52 PM
___________________________
freakit, i just watched pay it forward.
it's darn super nice.
haley joel osment's my favourite actor now.
haha.
he's really super good lohh. (((=.
haha.
right right.
supposed to go out today with my mom to catch meet the fockers.
dangit.
both of us fell asleep.
i fell asleep studying physics dammit.
shit shit.
i havent completed homework lahh.
shit shit.
ohkaye.
timetable's out everyone.
pe first day first period.
shit, im going to miss it.
its not fair lahh.
elainelims gna give one long welcome back to school speech?
then then, itll be cut short.
))))=.
its not fair.
throw me a lifeline
4:37 PM
___________________________
Saturday, December 25, 2004
everyone, it's CHRISTMAS ! ((=.
haha, but im so not in the christmasy mood.
i mean like im spending the rest of the day studying?
perhaps i'll do some christmas cards lahh. ((=.
haha.
im getting my ipod mini ! ((=.
wheeee.
right anyhow.
met sherri, then went for her haircut.
she looks TOO PUNK now. haha.
right.
then went down to queensway.
raaah, the shirts arent ready and stuff?
right.
then went down to ness place.
haha.
we were super late in meeting the rest at raffles.
haha.
right.
NIGEL LEE GUO EN BOUGHT MY BROWNIES.
TWENTY FOUR OF THEM.
THEY COSTED FORTYEIGHTBUCKS !
HAHA.
i like him at times. haha, he's a great brother lohh. (((((=.
HAHA.
you better read this, i'm only saying it ONCE.
right.
went for the christmas rally.
awww, huizhen din wear a dress.
haha.
went ard looking for raffles statue after that.
wanted to meet my dad.
couldnt find.
ended up at esplanade?
ate candypuffs? shoot, i suddenly forgot what you call them.
candyfluffs?
AAAAH
COTTON CANDY.
heh.=D
right.
msged alot of ppl merry christmas.
and since you dont have a phone,
MERRY CHRISTMAS. loveya ! ((=.
haha.
i love zhengliang's reply?
haha, it just shot one big smile onto my face.
haha. i love it the way he makes me smile !
HAHA.
right.
merry christmas again people.
its been a rather fast year yahh?
haha.
throw me a lifeline
4:44 PM
___________________________
Friday, December 24, 2004
right, just came back from sherri's house.
really glad we fixed alot of the camp stuffs today.
it'll all be finalised by monday.
i hope.
anyhow, really glad sherri helped me with the catering.
so, miss choo. THANK YOU.
right, anyhow.
somehow i wonder, if u hate a person so much that u would tag bad things on the person's tag board. why dont u just bloodeh leave ur name?
and, why do you wna backstab someone u call a friend.if you backstab that friend, he/she isn't a friend anymore right.and if that friend treats u as a real good friend, imagine that...
blahblah.
i really wna go for the christmas rally. haha. i wna see huizhen dance !
throw me a lifeline
9:07 AM
___________________________
think now of what it should have been
our love all it could have been-
I STILL DONT LIKE MY HAIR.
anyone wna exchange?
anyhow.
my cousies are really really cute lahh ! (((=.
HAHA.
i havent completed my homework, right.
NOW im panicking.
i really need to copy soon.
throw me a lifeline
4:08 AM
___________________________
Thursday, December 23, 2004
I JUST CUT MY HAIR !
-
SCREAMS !!!
I GOT THE PIG I WANTED SINCE FOREVER !
-
SCREEEEAAAAAAAMS !!!
my auntie bought it for me !
i mean like, its short, its THICK but at least its tyable.
but i don’t like it. =(((((.
when you see it youll definitely flip.
I DONT LIKE IT. =(((((((((.
went over to granmas house for get-together dinner.
just reached home.
i love the rice there. its nice ! (((=.
oh right, my brother and cousin both got into tanglin. PHEW.
its better than coming into fairfield.
PHEW !!!
right, shall do tagboard replies.
been ages since i last did it.
samanthaa – heyya gurlly. yupp, thanks for tagging. hahas. keep asking me to update, you update yourself lahh. hahas. thanks for buying the present for me. i havent bought anything yet. hehs. ohwells. cant wait for first day of school. ((=.
ness – yes, i love you too. hahas. thanks for tagging !
lover – hahas. yes, i wana go for the buffet ! (((=.
kailinn – hahas, thanks for tagging ! whee. first day of school reaching soon. hahas. cya in chi classes !
leen. – heyy gurlly, ties? hahas, over liao. you dont havta run away from me le. hahas. thanks for tagging too. cant wait to see ya as well. ((=.
lily – heyy girlly, hahas, thanks thanks ! i like the lollis as well. ((=.
oh right, haven’t bought a single present for anyone. apologies ppl. ive got no money to buy presents and stuff. so i’ll give vday presents instead. ((=.
anyhow, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
kayy, im a few days early, but who cares?
and freak it, i still don’t believe he has a crush on me.
throw me a lifeline
1:45 PM
___________________________
Monday, December 20, 2004
do you ever feel like breaking down.
do you ever wna run away-
riiiight.
puffy swollen eyes.
cried from 12 to 3 this morning.
woke up and cried again.
i got beaten up again.
im on the verge of leaking out my secret to my mom.
had one long talk from my brothers and mom this morning at 12 plus.
i woke up screaming and crying?
don't know why.
theres a problem with my eyes.
and my head hurts each time i touch it.
but he's gna get me and ipodmini for christmas?
shit, how i hate him.
i really do.
what's my problem?
him.
throw me a lifeline
8:35 AM
___________________________
Sunday, December 19, 2004
people, smile.
today is a day to die for.
besides finding out the fact that i am a fiasca. or fiasco. or whatever.
right.
but last night.
somehow i was sitting at the court and i started crying? suddenly the hurt got back to me? luckily i was alone and i ferociously rubbed my eyes nonstop.
right.
woke up early to go for the umpiring thing today.
yeaa. i failedd?
audrey me yuren hus? moo and one more. yupp.
after that went to macs to eat and slack.
wowwee. you dont know how BIIIIIIG the grilled chicken foldover is?
hahas.
after that me audrey paul joce tk yuren karen ina just sat ard crapping for super long?
hahas.
superly funnehh.
we were arguing about all sorts of things.
its really cool just slacking with my fellow umpires.
they are really cool, really nice, really funneh.
hahas.
ohwells.
we were arguing about whats the right time to get married.
hahas. ohwells.
then rushed down to tuition.
MR NG GUO XI MESSAGED ME TO GO DOWN.
raaah.
and like huh during break time, i asked guoxi to go down to buy water, two bottles for me and angyi.
AND HE BLOODEH BROUGHT BACK ONE HUGE BOTTLE OF WATER?
aaaand we ended up not drinking it.
ohwells.
hahas.
i love crapping with the umpires.
THEY ARE REALLY SUPER NICE !!
we're meeting once every three months to catch up and everything.
like march june sept dec? yeaa. during the hols. ((=.
hahas.
wheeee. ((=.
hahas.
throw me a lifeline
8:43 AM
___________________________
Saturday, December 18, 2004
was packing my cupboard today.
looking for a white outfit for tmr's practicals.
shit lahh.
im dam dam dam scaredd.
hehs.
today taking the results back.
-crosses fingers.
right right.
anyhow, i dug up so many things from inside my closet.
hehs.
like my brother's too small shirts passed down to me.
his prefect shirt.
his jjc orientation shirt.
his primary six class shirt.
raaah.
pretteh pretteh.
then i found this top i bought for felix in china?
hahas.
ohwells.
i never even got to say happy birthday to him lahh?
ohwells.
shit lahh.
this umpiring thing is giving me too much stress.
i need to deeee-stress.
beach anyone?
right right.
bryan and sean's coming over today.
my two adorable cousins.
makes them wonder whether their brothers.
one's SUPER fat. one's SUPER skinny.
one's SHORT. one's TALL.
but bryan's still the cutest !! ((=. hahas.
righhhht.
GAO TIAN QI is SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SHUAII!!!
-looks at audrey.
we were screaming down kallang that he's shuai the other day.
hahas.
kayy.
im gna practice handsignals.
or just sleep on the job.
frreeeaaaak !
but somehow all this stress getting to me doesn't make me think of the heartbreaking thing?
hahas. my little secret's super super super cute. (((=. makes me laugh.
hahaaaas.
throw me a lifeline
5:17 AM
___________________________
Friday, December 17, 2004
shiiiiit.
im darn freaked out now.
raaah.
there's amath test first day.
and im super rusty.
all the qns i had no problem with.
i totally forgot how to do.
and
there's the umpiring practical.
on sat.
but i might not even make it.
cos i might fail my test.
freakitt.
ITS THE HOLS DAMMIT.
im supposed to be relaxed. DAMMIT.
shit lahh.
throw me a lifeline
10:05 AM
___________________________
I SUDDENLY LIKE TYPING IN CAPS.
SO FORGIVE ME. ((=.
HAHAS. IVE GOT A LITTLE SECRET.
ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOWS.
INCLUDING ME. THREE LAHH. (((=.
OHWELLS.
ANYHOW.
THE COURSE LAST NIGHT WAS SUPER FUN.
MINUS OFF THE FACT THAT VIVIEN WAS PMS-ISH?
YUPP.
FIRST OFF.
ALVIN.
HAHAS.
I EXCHANGED POSITION WITH HIM.
SO HE BECAME CENTRE.
HAHAS, AND HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO !!
SO ME AND MOO WERE SHOUTING TO HIM ON WHAT TO DO.
okayy. the caps fanzy is over. i like un-caps now.
hahas.
longxin was also very funneh.
there's this terrapin in a tape box.
like no air space.
she kept going over to see the terrapin.
darn cute.
darn funneh.
hahas.
but tk was still the funniest.
hahas. when he was playing goal keeper.
he was practically just stonning lohh.
darn darn darn funneh.
and there was this time.
he ran into the goal post lohh.
all the spectatoring umpires just bursted out laughing.
hahahahahahahas.
super super super super super super funneh.
and i still LOVE his phone.
HAHA.
i just learnt how to take pictures with it?
and grrr, he had to alight.
raaah.
and he deleted all the pictures i took of him !!
wah lao. i spend so long figuring it out. and he deletes it.
grrr.
hahas.
audrey also.
she brought crackers for us all to eat.
ended up NONE of us wanted to eat it.
and i was the guinea pig lohh. hahas.
anyhow.
went to library ytd.
hahas.
i spent ONE HOUR just finding two books.
and i had to leave. otherwise i would be late.
hahas.
ohwells.
i mean try to find four books that is nice?
hahas. i practically can just pick out any lohh.
then you have to decide the nicest four books out of so many.
hahas
i love going to the library.
i can spend two hours finding four nice books.
it takes my mind off things. ((=.
hahas, i cant wait til fri.
i wna see tk KNOCK into the post again.((((((((=.
darn funneh.
MINDY NG MIN LI.
SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS ISNT CUTE.
OKAYYYYY !!! =D.
throw me a lifeline
1:54 AM
___________________________
Thursday, December 16, 2004
i like this picture. ((=.
the baby's cute.
he/she's crying.
he/she's screaming.
all the things i wna do.
[besides the cute part]
umpiring course tonight. really freaked out. i just cant umpire all of a sudden.
no, you don't know what it's like, when nothing feels alryt. you don't know what it's like to be like me ;
throw me a lifeline
2:42 AM
___________________________
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
do you lock yourself in your room
with the radio on turned up so loud
that no one hears you screaming-
i wna go out screaming now.
just by the seashore.
scream my lungs out.
scream till i feel better.
just scream.
suddenly, i'm crazy over folding straw hearts.
me audrey yuren joce and tk were folding it last night.
i wna give it to youu for christmas initially.
but... -shrugs.
study time.
throw me a lifeline
8:09 AM
___________________________
-SCREAMS !!!!
i LOVE my umpiring class. (((((((((=.
hahas, they so cheered me up last night !!!
-audrey, yuren, joce, karen, longxin, tk, alvin.
((((((((((((((((((((((((=.
ahas.
went out for supper with them after the course last night.
freakit, i superly failed my beep test, raaah, my knee's screwed up.
hahahas. went to munch at kfc.
hahas.
was passing ard our phones to get each other's numbers.
it seems all of us were having problems with each other's phones?
hahas.
right, i LOVE tk's phone.
ericsson 700i. its SUPER SUPER SUPER sleeeeek !!! ((=.
hahas, when the few of us found out tk's real name.
me and audrey were laughing hysterically.
especially me.
hahahahas.
-tingkong. hahas.
all of us heard it as kingkong.
hahahahas.
sorry.
hahas. right. me and audrey were going crazy last night.
screaming and laughing.
hahas, and both of us agree that GAOXING is SUPER SHUAI !!! hahas.
right.
hahas.
both of us were terrified when we walked through this dark place.
it rained just, and i'm scared that snails would appear.
audrey's just SCARED.
hahas.
then alvin and longxin left for the busstop opposite.
hahas.
tk used a branch to tickle audrey's ear.
rahh. hahas.
then he still blame her for being a noise pollutioner.
hahas.
he CAUSED the noise pollution.
then me yuren joce and tk boarded 14.
couldn't keep my hands off tk's phone.
it's DARN pretteh !! seriouslyy.
wanted to sneak off with it. was caught.
raaah. hahas.
it really took my mind off what i found out ytd.
hahas.
i love my class. (((((((((((((=.
hahahahahas.
freak it.
it
HURTS.
throw me a lifeline
6:22 AM
___________________________
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
have you ever loved and lost somebody
wished there was a chance to say im sorry-
i opened this page and stared blank at it. i wanted to write something. i don't know, like i haven't been seriously blogging, and i wanted to today. but i did something before coming to this page, and my vision is blurry, my mind is blank, my heart is scarred. hais.
i can't keep up my promise not to cry.
i have gone over the edge, and ive broken down now.
someone please tell me why.
i really wna know.
throw me a lifeline
1:25 AM
___________________________
Sunday, December 12, 2004
when we laugh or we cry it's together
through the rain and the stormiest weather-
here's nineteen thank yous to people. hahas. i just chose nineteen ((=.
i'll start from z, end with a.
zhengliang ; nineteenn -
heyya zHengliang. thanks for all the chemclass chats. hahas, i somehow just DON'T get how to pronounce your name. and you still haven't let me read that bloodehh short story with my name in it. grrrrr. hahas. yupp, thanks for brightening my chemclass up and letting me invade like everypage of your diary. hehs. right, i feel guilty. hahas. ohwells, you're there for me to bully lahh. hahas. thanks for all the advices, seriously, i like you alot. hahas. but just as a friend, you're a great one you know. take cares, and always rmb, nineteen rocks, not seventeen. hahas. ((=. ohh, you're instrument so rocks kayy. hahas. don't think you're lousy in it, i think you're one of the best players i know. [cos i don't know any]. hahas, but you're the sl, you gta be good lahh. hahas. love ya !
yingchun ; xiaozhuzhu-
heyy, thanks for the wonderful first few months of this yr.you rockedd my world alot. hahas. thanks for always being a handphone message away. for being there for me whenever im down and depressed, you still rock, just not my world. yahh. ((=. take cares, love yaa. ((=. don't pon school alr hor. hahas. ((=.
the china team ; adamkwa ; xuhui ; me ; ness ; min ; weimay ; sherri ; sheranne ; crystal ; lily ; danielle ; joanne ; dorcas ; joeltan ; aarongoh ; aaronng ; aloysius ; yilun ; gary ; ziluo ; matthew ; bize -
you guys so rock. i love the team !!! hahas. thanks mrkwa for all the talks while climbing huangshan wahahas. ((=. thanks my team - ness, joeltan, aaronng. thanks my class mates - joeltan, aaronng, yilun, ness. whee. i love all of you !!! hahas. you made the greatest days of my life. hahas. yupp. ((=. rocks rocks rocks rocks rocks. ((=. hahas.
sirongg ; farsyy ; no.1 advisor -
misteerr. hahas. thanks so much for all your advices THIS year. ((=. like i said, you're my no.1 advisor yahh. i superly love all your advices. hahas. it seems weird when you suddenly will tell me smth, but i really take it to mind okayy. and heart as well. your advices really do make sense yahh. hahas. i really love it when you will just start telling me what to do and what's wrong. yupp. thanks so much for all your advices. seriously. hahas. i still rmb that time when you just sat down and started reading that chinese newsppr to me? and the whole table. hahahahas. idiot, you were just practising your oral. hahas, but it somehow sounded so real and touched my heart. hahas, that's the effect you have on me yahh. ((=. thanks !
shibin ; chocolate ; hello kitty gang founder -
heyya loyy. hahas. i just can't believe you're smarter than me lohh. darnit. i can't believe that. til now. hahas. but thanks for paying for the swensen's anyway. i was running broke. you're a great friend yahh. hahas. keep getting the lullaby song wrong. still can't believe it lohh. hahas. we ended up playing instead of studying lahh. hahas. all the shoelace fighting with me makes me laugh alot that i momentarily forget my problems yahh. ((=. hahahahas. thanks yahh ! whee. hahahas. the paper aeroplane passing during chinese lessons. the n-gage playing during chinese lessons. the zi kou pa. i cant believe it's 40-1? don't know lahh, can't remember, i'm just getting trashed that's all. grrr. i hate it when you always win me lahh. hahas. thanks anyhow for all the laughter you brought into my life !
sherri ; annechoo ; zhu -
heyya fellow 198-er. hahas. sweetcorn icecream fanatic. hahas, thanks for all the chats while we take 198 home. sorry for always pangsehing you for him. thanks for ren-ing all the pangsehings. hahas. thanks for some of your advices and staying with me at times too. I LOVE YOU as well. take cares. ((=. hahas.
samantha ; larrdddd -
heyya, altho we aren't that close as last yr, but thanks ALOT for everything you've done for me this yr. yahh? hahas. calling me from italy and stuff. getting me things. and i KNOW i still owe you 18 bucks since 14o2o4? =DDD. hees. ahas, thanks for renning it lahh. hahas, you're a great advisor giver kayy. hahas. I LOVE YOU ! ((=.
nigel, brother -
heyya short. hees. thanks for being a great bro for the past yr. thanks for the vday and bday pres. hehs. i still owe you one. but my brownies ?!!! ((=. hahas, thanks for being someone i can trust yahh. and thanks for sharing your big secret with me first. hahas. now like almsot everyone knows lahh. ohwells. thanks for all the advices and chats. always there for me. hahas. ((=. love ya !
ness ; roonee ; littlemisscheat ; saloh -
boo bestiee, hahas. thanks alot for this yr. the tears, the smiles, the highnesses, the crappinesses, the depressnesses. [notice how i keep using your name? hahas] anyhow, i do NOT have weird pronunciation okayy. hahas. ((=. thanks so so so so so so superly much for being there for me. a phonecall, msg or chat away. thanks for all yr advices and stuffs. hahas, somehow teasing you bout your natural body colour seems to lighten me up and stuffs. thanks for being one of my besties as well. I LOVE YOU. ((=. hahas. thanks for being honest with me about guys and stuffs. hahas, besties for life yahh?
mindyy ; loverr -
heyya bestiee. 2 yrs coming soon alr. hahas, to think we could be besties huh. hahas. you better stop thousand timing me okayy. you even got married alr !! hahas, not to me somemore lohh. and you still can put all ur flings name onto you blog. hahas. but nehw, you so rock yahh. ((=. thanks for all the chats and tears and advices and smiles. hahas, you make me laugh just by being you, cutie ! ((=. hahas. yupp.thanks for letting me go down to your house that day and cry buckets. hahas, and go crazy over the lizhang-lookalike. ((=. hahas, your regular teasing me of my "weird" pronunciation brings a high to what i feel yahh. hahas. yupp. thanks for everything this yr yahh. am really glad you got over, or are getting over him. ((=. jerks are just jerks, can't change them. hahas. ((=. I LOVE YOU !
jonathan ong ; brudderr ; chubaka caller -
heyya dudee, hahas. thanks for all the advices about him. and thanks for whatever you bought for me from korea. hahahahas. thanks for the calls and the msges. and the testi. you still owe me three you know. hahahas. sorry for breaking down that day, but i love your advices when i did yahh. hahas. and you're forever keeping me guessing one lohh. don't want tell me this, don't want tell me that. hahas. ohwells. you're a great person to be with. hahahas, i'm happy that you're happy. hahas. don't feel too sad kayy, at least you have her yahh? ((=. things will fall into place soon. hahas. love ya !
joe -
heyy, hahas. thanks so much for all your chats and secrets.messages and advices.hahas. am happy you got over her alr yahh.hahas, thanks for making me smile and everything. you smile too alryts. hahas. thank you ! and you want me huh. hahas. ((=.
jiayi ; evill twinn ; name stealer -
heyya tweenie. hahahas. thanks so much for everything you've done for me for the later part of this yr. the chats, the advices, the laughs. hahahahas. the maths too. hahas. yupp. you superly rock yahh tweenie. don't you sound like the kidscentral tweenies or smth lidat? hahas. ohwells. i like your handphone ALOT. hahas. sorry yahh for taking it and disappearing for half a day. hahahas. its just superly nice lohh. ahas. thanks for renning all my nonsense and my pmses. hee. you're a great twin, i wouldn't swop you for anyone yahh? ((=.
jiayee ; jiejie -
heyya jie, hahas. thanks for all the advices and the accompanying me home. hahas. i don't know why you're so afraid of taking exams. you always come out on of the tops. hahas. so relax yahh. you're gona bring 3c or rather 4c's name up okayy. hahahs. ((=. thanks for sending me home that time when i fell superly ill. yupp. thanks alot kayy. ((=. love ya.
kevinyap ; jackjack lover ; hamsterr ; hearttalker -
heyya, you so rock. hahas. got alot alot alot of things to thank you for this yr. hmm. thanks for all the chats and advices. hahas. and the usual if karo sucks, then kevin sucks. hahas. it cheers me up all the time. i find it funneh when we are just beside each other but we msg and don't talk. hahas. thanks for teaching me the circular measure. i would have FAILED if it wasn't for you yahh. hahas. thanks for sending me home at times too. thanks also for that time when you rushed down from school to accompany me to see the doctor. thanks alot kayy. i super super super appreciate it. thanks also for always being just a msg away. seriously. hahas. thanks alot for your great advices yahh. i like the way you give your honest point of view, but somehow it doesn't hurt me. hahas. yupp. thanks for that time when i ponned trg and you accompanyed me to watch movie yahh. hahas. okayy, thanks is up. now you better better better stop thinking that way of urself okayy. tell you, i wouldn't be ME if it wasn't for YOU. so you better stop thinking that you're lousy or anything okayy. kevin die = karo die. AS YOU ALWAYS SAY. you hor, not me. hahas. yupp. but serious, you're a great person okayy, stop thinking yourself bad or lousy or anything alryt. you really rock kayy. ((=. love ya !
felix, brotherr -
mr chow jing khai. hahas. i still go by what i say, you're a really really GREAT brother, all the things you've done for me i can't pay you back. but seriously, i don't know why you choose this path of yours. i mean it seriously hurts me you know. hahas. but thanks okay, for treating me as a sister yahh? hahas, that time we ponned school, thanks for paying for my "medicine bills" my lunch my movie hahahahas. and thanks so so much for trying to cover for me. hahas. you're a brother i wanted, but never had. stop doing all the bad stuffs alr okayy. but you still rock my world alryts. i love you. ((=.
charmaine choo ; mommy -
heyya mommy. aren't you glad you are in the nineteen? hahas. but thanks for this yr yahh. each time i cry whee, you appear. hahahas. but ohwells. he's not worth your tears okayy. you better stop crying for him lohh. it's not worth it. he's a jerk okayy. hahahas. i like it when you start crapping. hahahas. thanks for the chats and everything. hahahahas. i just don't get why you hate the ball so much. hahas. you'll learn to love it. i mean your daughter is a ball lover. she's a NETBALLER. hahahas. ((=. love youu !
bryan ; forkandspoon -
whee. finally your turn. i very lazy to write for you lohh. hahas. i'm writing for you last so i can think of something to fill the space. hahas. no lahh. also got alot to thank you. hahas. hmm. thanks for being there for me. hahas. each and every time i break down, i turn around, woaah, there you are. surprisingly pleaseful for me. hahas. superly sorry for like forever crying one yahh? hahas. forever stressing you out ones. hahas. whee. we've grown quite close over the past few months yahh? thanks for letting me unload my anger frustration tears on you. hahas. thanks for sending me home that day when i kena gastric. hahas. yupp. don't know how i made it home somehow. it hurted so much. hahas. but taadaa, thanks to you im safe home. hahas. yupp. thanks for everything you've done for me for the later part of the yr. the crapping, the tears especially. the happiness, the screams. hahas. actually got alot alot alot alot of things to thank you one lohh. just that my mind very blank now. hahas. ohwells. i'll think now. errrrmmm. hahas. meowmeow and meowmeowmeow? =D. hahas. unhuns. thanks for sending me home every now and then. ahas. thanks for saying superlylot of sorrys just to please me. shit, i feel like a meanie now lohh. right. like you call me. im a meanie lahh. hahas. and RETARDED? not my fault lohh. hahas. ohwells. thanks thanks thanks thanks alot okayy. hahas. alamak. i say so much thanks also never say for what. you never give me advices. hmm. yahh lohh. thanks for the chats lahh. and spending time with me lahh. hahas. whee. i love pissing you off cos hahas, you'll suddenly turn pleasing and nice. omg, i'm sounding mean again. darnit. hahas. alryts. aiyer. just thanks lahh hor. hahas. you're a great person okayy. whee. iloveyouu. ((=. wahlao. your thank you post longer than all my besties one. hahas. and i create a blog you go say DUMB blog. THANK YOU VERY MUCH HOR. hahas. still, i love you lahh hor. hahas. you're a great person, minus off all your bad points. but that would be left with... nothing ! hahas. ohwells. just joking lahh. you rock.
3c'o4 -
whee, you guys rock. hahas. rmb what loke said on the last day of the adam khoo workshop. for o's THIS CLASS is coming up tops. for sure. thanks alot for all of the laughter you brought me. hahas. i love every single individual. almost every i mean. hahas. yahh? ((=. hahahas. thanks for voting for me to be both deputy and chair. whee. aren't you all glad i got sackedd? hahahahahas. you guys rock kayy ! beat the ass out of the a and the b and the d and the e and the f and the sec 5s. cos the C is coming. hahahas. ((=.
alryt. nineteen special thankyous to more than nineteen special ppl ((=. you guys make my world ! ((=.
hahas, there are many other ppl i wna say thankyou to, im just simply putting down the few hearttalkers i have. and the groupies i've been with. ohwells. hahas.
throw me a lifeline
3:08 PM
___________________________
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Hahas, im sooo bored, I got this off friendster.
Each alphabet stands for a name.
List a name to each alphabet.
::. First in ur mind .::
A=annechoo
B=hehs. =D.
C=no one in particular, I think of 3c.o4 and 2c.o3 and 4c.o5
D=darren
E=eviltwiin
F=felix
G=gina
H=hisyam
I=ian
J=joel
K=kevin
L=leanne
M=mindy
N=nigel
O=onwin
P=pammy
Q=qasim
R=rachel
S=shibin
T=tunli
U=uncute
V=vivien
W=weixian
X=xinyi
Y=yingchun
Z=zhengliang
Whee, chattin wiv syam now. Hahas, hes so cute lahh !
throw me a lifeline
11:16 AM
___________________________
Thursday, December 09, 2004
haven't really bothered to update and stuff. been really busy with umpiring course, studies, tuition. yupp, i don't spend that much time on the comp alr. i'm happy for that. hehs, i'm finally able to stop myself from blogging. ((=. blogging doesn't appeal that much anymore. anyhow, below is something i copypastedd from someplace. do read. ((=.
why do we close our eyes when we sleep? when we cry? when we imagine? when we kiss? this is because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen.
we are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
there are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life.
happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. for only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives.
a great love?
it's when you shed tears and still you care for him, it's when he ignores you and still you long for him. it's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say i'm happy for you.
if love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.
the strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall.
somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.
a true friend understands when you say, i forgot, waits forever when you say, just a minute, stays when you say leave me alone, opens the door even before you knock and says can i come in?
loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go, but how you hold on.
it's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever.
in love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.
there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we let go.
if you really love someone never let go, don't believe that letting go means that you love best, instead fight for your love, that's what true love is.
it's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. best to wait for the one you love than one who is around. best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.
sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.
throw me a lifeline
10:52 PM
___________________________
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
it's my life
and it's now or never-
riight, a sum of my yr.
o8o1o4 - made up with felix, become my bro again.
12o1o4 - day i realised i like
him.
280104 - felix msged me that
he liked me as well. then
he told me
he liked me, unofficial.
3oo1o4 - rnd, we were in the same rnd class !! ((=.
o4o2o4 - ((=. day we went stead. at 8:o1 pm. ((=. he asked me twice.
23o2o4 - lookin' for
him all around school. gave up, went to holland. met
him there. all smiles ! ((=.
24o2o4 - skipped school. with matt, felix, jason. went to watch peter pan, kinda funneh when ray, yc, nigel scolded the three guys. younger bro's bdae.
260204 - got caught for skipping school. yellow form, 5 d.p., sacked from being vice-chair.
o4o3o4 - ONE MONTH !! ((=.
o5o3o4 - me and siwen hangin' around the school hall. she called
him out. i ran away. super paiseh. hehs.
o8o3o4 - level camp. i was in group 6,
he in group 8. day i fell head first from a high point. when i went back, my whole team said "sorry, karolyn" together. was REALLY REALLY touched, 3c superly rocks yahh.dinner,
he was serving. didn't know how to fold the ppr for food.
he was eatin' an apple. but stuffed the apple into his mouth and helped me fold and served the food for me. hahas. sweet? ((=.
o9o3o4 - level camp. moved our bags to a resort room. my class was room 208,
his class was room 308. pitched tents, superly fun. ((=. raftin', my group so failed lahh. hahas, our raft couldn't even stay on the water for a few seconds. turned over almost immediately when everyone piled in. hahas. stayed up late gossiping, was the first to fall asleep in my tent. hehs.
1oo3o4 - trekkin' !!! ((=. SUPERLY FUN. like the guys had to help the girls climb up? i helped alson instead. hahas, his shoes were slippery you see. when we reached the point where only one person can climb at a time, i slipped and fell. hahas, luckily alson was behind me. hahas. the view was FANTASTIC. superly nice. leonard brought a cam. snapped a pic of our team. ((=. trekked down. leonard helped me, couldn't have made down without him. hahas. like we were from the middle of the 5 groups, we became the last few. darn funneh. i kept slippin' and his strong hold stopped me from fallin' down lahh. hahas. and he's like super super pro lohh, we all had to sit to slide down, leonard just stood up bent his knees and slide down, WITHOUT FALLIN'. once i let go of his hand, took one step, and i fell. hahas. when we had to climb up from this place. stella almost pulled jonong down. hahahas, i was laughing my head off at him when i climbed up. hahas. ((((=. love that trekking day. we made it up in SEVEN hours. and made it down in only TWO hours. RECORD TIME !! hahas, superly fun. campfire. hahas, my class cheer - C BANGS. change the she to c. ((=. me and chris came up with it.
talk to me.
tell me your name.
3c is here and we're here to stay.
leeches, rain and muddy shoes.
overcame, and we say.
c bangs, c bangs.
oh baby, when c moves, c moves.
i go crazy.
cos c looks like a flower
but c stings like a bee
like no class in history.
rocks right? hahas. we were doin' the william hung actions while singin' darn funneh.
he was sick. superly worried. hahas. ((=. then my knee had injury. leonard ran to grab deep heat for me. it was so so so painful that i cried. hahas. then
he was injured as well.
he kept jumping up and down screamin' in pain when shi lao shi was applying medication. darn cute. hahas.
11o3o4 - went back to school. bus back was super super super super fun. the whole bus was playin' the same game? either the scissorspaperstone one, or number game. darn darn darn fun. ((=. me and loke raced across the place to the bus cos we went to check for anyone in the toilet. darn funneh, he was SO fast lahh. hahas. oh right, shibin got bloodeh scolded for whistling. LIKE HUH? whistling lehh. right, GAELAN PEE-ED IN A BOTTLE. hahahahas. the whole bus was teasin' him like siao lohh. reached school, someone told me smth. i cried.started questionin'
him. don't seem to be true. still in love with
her.
12o3o4 - msged
him usin' lover's phone, through lover. said
he couldn't forget
her, but
he likes me. yupp.
13o3o4 - heard more bad things about
him. broke up. cried buckets. fmps sports carnival. the kid-os were fun. remember that we all ganged up against one girl cos she kao bei us. funneh, but couldn't laugh that time. 38 days together, ended just splat like that.
18o3o4 - fell ill.
19o3o4 - went to see doctor. temperature at 4o.1. couldn't eat, couldn't watch tv, just slept.
21o3o4 - went to see another doctor. temp dropeed to 38.9. still couldn't eat, couldn't do anything. just slept. he gave me ONE WEEK mc !! ((=. hehs. suspected to have dengue fever or malaria. took bloodtest. hated it when the needle went it. yupp.
22o3o4 - the girlies called me. they were so so so sweet. ((=. nessie's bdae. ((=.
26o3o4 - my class ppl came over to visit. superly nice right? ((=. hahas, i love my class.
27o3o4 - first head on experience with
him. luckily manu came out of school at the same time. ((=. avoided him.
o2o4o4 - sat beside
him during assembly. hehs. was practically grinning the whole day. hahas.
o8o4o4 - first time we waved after the break. hahas
12o4o4 - first time we talked after the break. ((=.
17o4o4 - STREET FESTE !! ((=. love the street feste. darn fun. hahas.we were running all around. i love our dance item. so rocks ! ((=. hahas.
o1o6o4-11o6o4 - best days of my life. CHINA TRIP !! ((=. hahas. lizhang so rocks lahh. wuchao, huangke, luhong. mygoodness. the amount of tears we cried on the last day. the friendship exchanged. the games. the hugs, the presents, the letters. hais. i really wna be there again. it was seriously the best days of my life. ((=. i like my class alot. ((=. stopped like
him fell for
him instead. yupp.
23o6o4 - birthdayy !! spent it with lover, then sam. hahas.
12o7o4 - day i met youu.
31o7o4 - family day. youu pissed me off so bad that i dao-ed youu.hahas.
11o8o4 - gave youu the slackin' talk. pissed each other off i guess.
13o8o4 - cried after trg, i mean it hurt so so so bad lohh. hais.
17o8o4 - wrote a letter to youu. wheeee, we stopped daoin' each other. but you gave a darn freakin' fright. the day that i found out my mom is the GREATEST mom in the whole world. she's a SUPERWOMAN serious. ((=.
22o8o4 - pesta sukan, got into next round !
290804 - 2nd round of pesta sukan, lost. me and ness - ANTI-FIRSTKISS. hehs.
o3o9o4 - pissed me off real bad with one letter.
13o9o4 - 36 sorrys. hahas. still didn't forgive.
14o9o4 - said THREE sorrys, still didn't forgive.
16o9o4 - waited for me outside my chinese class. jiayi zhengliang danielng kellylim etc kept bugging me to go out. went out, passed me a letter. 1o1 sorrys. forgave. hahas.
o11oo4 - children's day !! maygay gave us jelly and gave shibin hellokitty stickers. i'm part of the hello kitty gang ! hahas. he invaded my diary pastin' hello kitty stickers all over. hahahas.
o31oo4 - youu sent me home. leanedd your arms on my shoulder. hahas. ((=.
o41oo4 - day youu told me youu liked me. youu will never know how happy i was alryt. i was superly superly extremely happy lohh. hahahahas. ((=. grinning from end to end when youu weren't around hahas, ask sherri, she could sense it. rushedd over to lover to tell her the news.
o51oo4 - fell sick. skipped half a day. i went school for the second half, just to see youu. hahas. though i gave the excuse that i had to go for amath lesson. hahas. ((=.
221oo4 - happiest day of my life. we just sat around opposite my block. ((((((((((=. immense happiness. meowmeow and meowmeowmeow !!!
281oo4 - first time youu called me !! my heart skipped a beat you know. ((((=.
o511o4 - band concert. hahas, shibin screwed up his solo cos of my name on his hand. hahas. whee. youu rockk ! ((=. i love the way youu play your instrument. i love the way youu look when you're playing your instrument. i just love youu. hahas. ((=. lost my wallet though. but nonetheless, youu still made my day. hahas. sneak peeks at youu. ((((((=.
raah. i love my besties. i love my cliques. i love youu. i love Him. i love schooling with youu around. i love watching youu play the sax. i love staring at youu for ages. hahas.
now the happiness is over, the sadness kicks in. hahas. but i still love youu okayy. ((((=.
throw me a lifeline
2:40 AM
___________________________
Monday, December 06, 2004
this girl wants to rock with youu-
i don't feel like bloggin' anymore somehow.
it seems more of like a chore, than somethin' to do when you're online.
went to gym yest and fri.
ytd, met laffyette, huizhen's bro, chiseng at the gym.
then met rachel gong at the hawker centre.
yupp.
i think my next post will be a thankyou post for the yr.
perhaps a sum up of the yr first?
yeaah.
anyhow.
six days.
my heart broke for six days.
and.
i'm losin' fractions.
and i've alr got my answer.
it's a no.
so, still friends?
hope so, cos you're a great one.
chan rak teu ;
throw me a lifeline
3:08 AM
___________________________
Saturday, December 04, 2004
it breaks my heart-
like wowee great, my internets down and i cant go on to msn to change my nick.
such a downer.
anyhow, i just felt like posting something, so im just typing something.
lame?
yes? no?
ohwells.
unhuns.
i just cnt believe sg voted so blindly.
like huhh, slys supposed to win one lohh.
ohwells.
okayy.
i need my sleep.
been sleeping late almost everynight.
and waking up early for trainings and stuff in the mornings.
freak it.
i thought it was all over.
then i dreamt of smth last night.
and i realised something real bad.
i miss you.
right, im buzzing off to sleep.
the gym today.
plus the short game with the juniors.
im deadbeat.
dont call me.
dont talk to me.
im sleeping.
dont even attempt to wake me up.
i NEED my sleep.
anyhow, i like my new hairstyle.
-grins. ((=.
i just gta buy more black hairties.
right, sleep.
i dont wna miss a thing ;
throw me a lifeline
6:14 AM
___________________________
Friday, December 03, 2004
was blog hopping, saw this post.found it meaningful.
so i copy pastedd it. enjoy.
and the ME, isnt me, its the person who posted this. yea?
She looks out the large tinted window and watches the trees and bushes pass in rich green blurs as the Sun shines through the windows on the other side of the Greyhound bus. The Sun creates a glare on her window. She sees her reflection among the fingerprints and grease smudges from foreheads that had once rested against the window's coolness.
She sighs quietly and wonders to herself how this could be her. She hadn't looked like this at one time. One time she had been happy and full of life. She had been excited and eager to experience life. But now she was tired and exhausted. Now she didn't look forward to taking the challenges life presented to her everyday. She only anticipated the day she could finally lay down in her permanent resting place. Even though it felt like that day was right around the corner, she knew it was far from the near future. She knew she had many more phases of life ahead of her.
Loud eruptions of laughter echoed in her head. The Sun continued to put a glare on her window. She saw the dust floating in the air through the yellow rays. She could see his face. He had a wide grin with perfect white teeth and his eyes as blue as the sky, his hair dark brown. Even the memory of his face left her in awe. He was the handsomest man she had ever met. But the cruelest. He had been able to make her laugh until her ribs ached. But he also made her cry herself to sleep. It had turned sour, just like all of the other things in her life.
She looked into her reflection again. The cut on her lip was healing well, but it was still visible. She turned the side of her face to take a good look at the bruise on her cheekbone. That too was fading. It was fading as more distant was being put between her and her old life. She was leaving for a new life. She was ready for the next chapter.
She smiled. He was no more than a memory. A memory she tied with red ribbon and hid away from the world. She loved him still. And she would never stop loving him, but she wasn't going to give herself up to him. No one was going to own her.
The bus slowed and pulled into a service plaza. Everyone began to stir from their motionless positions and stand up. As she stood up and stretched, she could feel her spine extend - cracking as her hands reached up to the ceiling of the roof. Yawns escaped the group as they began to step off the bus and walk toward the service plaza building. The group divided; some heading for the Men's Restroom, others for the Women's Restroom, several hurried to the Burger King to get their doses of caffeine through large cups of coffee. She wandered over to a small store and looked at all of the postcards. She smiled and thought of sending one to someone. But who? Her smile stuck to her face, though the enjoyment began to slip away. She turned away from the store and went to an unfamiliar fast food area. She purchased a small Pepsi and a hot cinnamon bun with icing poured on it in an attractive way.
As she headed back to the bus, she noticed several of the other passengers making small talk, one pair even flirting. Suddenly she felt old. A heavy weight tied to her soul. She wished she'd never met him. No, she was glad she met him. She wished she'd never fallen in love with im. No, she was glad she was in love with him. She wished he'd been all that she wanted him to be. And he was. But she wasn't all that he wanted her to be. If she had been, he wouldn't have been so unhappy. Right?
Letting go was harder than she thought.
She got back onto the bus and walked back to her seat and ate her bun in silence. The driver was still inside the plaza building having his share of coffee. Only two others had returned to the bus. The flirters. She watched them, slowly and quietly eating her breakfast.Let go, Alyssa. Let go...She closed her eyes and tried to forget. Just forget.She turned back to her window and watched birds hop along the parking lot, eating all the crumbs and remains of fast meals families and couples and individuals had eaten over the day. She was intrigued by the way they moved. They had a quicker sense of danger than she had. They escaped it. She didn't.She closed her eyes again and fought the burning sensation. She felt a tear run down her face. She wiped it away and made the burning sensation go away.
Why couldn't she just let go?
ME: why do some ppl just can't let go...and when they found out tt they still love the opp...can't just the opp forgive forget n give another chance?i still couldn't get an answer...ppl says over means over..but isn't it just being STUBBORN..haha..i dunno..got a qn for everyone..wats is loving someone n wat is someone loving u n wat is loving each other?if someone confess or u know tt he/she has feelings for u... u tink tt u dun like her.. BUT HOW DO U EXACTLY KNOW TT U DUN LIKE HER...just wanna tell u guys...give ppl a chance..giving a chance realli means alot..love is full of miracles isn't it....
throw me a lifeline
7:57 AM
___________________________
please say you'll stay-
match wiv clementi town today.
the umpires stink. seriously.
i mean like breaking so many thousand times right infront of them.
AND THEY DIDNT SEE.
rahh.
cdiv won, bdiv lost.
me jamie and cheepeng were crapping at one corner.
cheepeng's buying gifts for me and jamie when she goes overseas again !! ((=.
hehs.
right, had the regular dosage of stuartlittle calling by jamie.
rahh.
oh and jon says i look like CHUBAKA.
i dont even know who the heck it is.
but its a hairy creature from starwars.
when i told cheepeng that.
she BURSTED out laughing.
rahh.
ohh, we were talking bout msng's nightmares.
and how scary it is sleeping beside her.
cheepeng experienced it. hehs.
then went out for lunch wiv ness lover tweetee.
went imm.
ate crunchy carrot again.
shared one meal wiv roonee.
hahas.
tweetee was wanting somemore food.
just that none of us wanted to buy somemore.
went to the busstop wiv lover.
chatted abit.
hehs.
went home.
i did some physics stuff.
FORTYFOUR questions alryt!
im high today, according to roonee.
she says im high.
she says im crappy.
shearnne says i should shuttup.
so im gna shuttup.
bye.
ohright.
tonights the first umpiring course.
will be meeting joce for dinner later.
hehs.
so dont call me.
just text me if need to.
if u wna talk.
before 7, after 10. ((=.
im losing fractions ;
throw me a lifeline
7:43 AM
___________________________
Thursday, December 02, 2004
whee, sly rocked the house down.
he so rocks !!!
((((=.
voted for him. he so rocks ! ((=.
hehs, newae, heres to my two brudderrs.
jon ; heyy brudderr, thanks so much yahh. ((=. yesyes, im chubaka lahh. hehs. thanks for that phonecall byee, and thanks for telling me what to do whenever im sad. hehs. yes, chubaka lahh. ((=.
nigelly ; heyy lil brudderr, thanks for that phonecall from thailand. ((=. hehs. yesyes, have fun trg there. hahas, im glad you didnt forget you have this sis yahh. take cares.
VOTE FOR SLY !!!
throw me a lifeline
1:30 PM
___________________________
you seriously don't know what it's like.
to be on the edge of breaking down.
anytime now.
any moment.
unexpected.
i hurt much more than you know.
and you don't bother.
you seriously don't care.
right.
i knew this day was coming.
where we would just leave each other's lives.
just go on ourselves.
it was expected.
i knew it would come one day.
maybe it hasn't arrived yet.
but it really seems it has.
it's like.
you don't care.
don't bother.
don't ask.
i might be asking too much since whatever we have is not confirmed.
not real.
but.
just drop it.
i won't ask for it anymore.
i've loved you since the day i said i did.
but i don't think you would care anymore.
perhaps you never did.
never will.
perhaps i was just deceiving me.
perhaps you were just deceiving me.
perhaps you were deceiving yourself too.
i'm stepping into a mistake i just made.
it's all the same.
i don't want to end up how i ended up the other time.
so i tell you now.
unless you can seriously assure me that it's true.
that you can look me in the eye.
and tell me you don't like her.
if you know you can't do it.
then don't.
tell me the truth now.
stop leading me on if it's not going to happen anytime now.
i need someone true.
and if you can't be that someone.
i'd rather you tell me now.
duan tong bu ru chang tong.
i don't want to fall deeper and cry longer.
you just don't know.
throw me a lifeline
11:06 AM
___________________________
i HATE jerks.
how do you even DEFINE a jerk? you simply CANT. however, let me list a few examples.
lets see.
>a TWOTIMING FLIRT.
>a GUY who LEADS GIRLS ON.
>a GUY who CHEATS ON GIRLS FEELINGS.
isnt that enough alr? i mean i can count the number of guys who seriously do that. and the figures i cant count wiv my toes and fingers alryt.
throw me a lifeline
12:11 AM
___________________________
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
someone to have and hold-
right, tuition ended. that guy was good. hahas.
i understood more than i ever did during joannaongs lesson.
thank God for my tutor.
okayy.
i just received THREE missed calls.i guess its from nigellee.
hes in THAILAND and he calls me? is he trying to kill my phone bills?
what the hell.
okay, say die everyone. DIE.
tomorrows the FIRST OF DECEMBER.
AND I PROMISED TO STUDY WHEN DECEMBER STARTS.
ITS TOMORROW
AND I SO DONT WNA START.
raaah.
hais, sacrifices.
if you dont see me online, it means im studying. and it means YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTIME YOU WANT. okay. except btwn 3-5 tmr. ive got physics tuition again.
seriously, i wna see how long this thing lasts.
i think probably one day? but i wna prove myself wrong.
perhaps i just wont do anything? yupp.
tell me before i fall in love ;
throw me a lifeline
2:29 PM
___________________________
i couldnt tell you
why she felt that way
she felt it everyday
and i couldnt help her
i just watched her make the same mistakes again
whats wrong.whats wrong now
too many.too many problems
dont know where she belongs.where she belongs
she wants to go home
but nobodys home
its where she lies
broken inside
with no place to go
no place to go to dry her eyes
broken inside
open your eyes and look outside
find the reasons why
youve been rejected
and now you cant find what you left behind
be strong.be strong now
too many.too many problems
dont know where she belongs.where she belongs
she wants to go home
but nobodys home
its where she lies
broken inside
with no place to go
no place to go to dry her eyes
broken inside
her feelings she hides
her dreams she cant find
shes losing her mind
shes fallen behind
she cant find her place
shes losing her faith
shes fallen from grace
shes all over the place
she wants to go home
but nobodys home
its where she lies
broken inside
with no place to go
no place to go to dry her eyes
broken inside
shes lost inside.lost inside
dont know why, i suddenly super relate to this song? actually was watching mtv this morning, realised alot of songs click with me? heres another :
do you ever feel like breaking down
do you ever feel out of place
like somehow you just dont belong
and no one understands you
do you ever wanna runaway
do you lock yourself in your room
with the radio on turned up so loud
that no one hears you screaming
no you dont know what its like
when nothing feels all right
you dont know what its like
to be like me
to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when youre down
to feel like youve been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
and no ones there to save you
No you dont know what its like
welcome to my life
do you wanna be somebody else
are you sick of feeling so left out
are you desperate to find something more
before your life is over
are you stuck inside a world you hate
are you sick of everyone around
with their big fake smiles and stupid lies
while deep inside youre bleeding
no you dont know what its like
when nothing feels all right
you dont know what its like
to be like me
to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when youre down
to feel like youve been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
and no ones there to save you
no you dont know what its like
welcome to my life
no one ever lied straight to your face
no one ever stabbed you in the back
you might think im happy
but im not gonna be okay
everybody always gave you what you wanted
never had to work it was always there
you dont know what its like.what its like
to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when youre down
to feel like youve been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
and no ones there to save you
no you dont know what its like
to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when youre down
to feel like youve been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
and no ones there to save you
no you dont know what its like
welcome to my life
shit, i really feel like breaking down now.hais.thats my life.
i dont wna fall to pieces, i just wna sit and stare at youu ;
throw me a lifeline
8:49 AM
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